So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
His butt!!
A reboot.
After all, it’s twenty twenty too
I guess we can finally say 2020 won :/
Happy new year people!!
I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.
They’re cornfidential
Keemotherapy.
It didn’t have the heart to do it.
Doctor says I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
It would be called Operation Pot Holes
I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome.
Because the directions said lather rinse repeat.
You could say the coast is clear
So I've been taking extra steps to avoid them.
Any ideas what to do in the Mean Time?
They take the psychopaths.
This gave me a needed chuckle. Found it here: https://entertainyourtoddler.com/best-jokes-for-kids/
The secuity woman asked "how do you spell your last name?"
So I replied Y-O-U-R-L-A-S-T-N-A-M-E.
She typed it into the system and was about to submit it when she noticed. She was so mad.
The judge awarded the parents joint custody of the child
It's ass
The TS-eh
Friend: aSpanishGoat's father was aSpanishGoat adopted?
Dad: Well we tried to, but they just kept bringing him back.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Cashier: "Would you like your drink in a bag or out?"
Dad: "No thanks, we'll drink and drive." (Huge shiteating grin)
Its butt.
His butt.
They take the psycho path!
Its feet!
It’s butt
His butt.
do men go through womenopause?
It’s bum.
Its butt.
