Not really a pun. But it's funny as hell.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/poemboi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
Would need one hell of a wig
πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
"What the hell are you doing?" - "I have..."
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
What do you call old people in hell?

Sinner citizens!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cry_baby_27
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
A Bodybuilder Enters Hell

After a full day of hard labor he asks Satan, " Hey, is there any way that I can get a protein shake around here? ".

Satan replies, "There's no whey in hell !!! ".

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymous-70
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Hell wigs out.
πŸ‘︎ 125
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/travislaker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
hell yeah
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/angstyslut
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a burglar trying to kick in his own door, so I asked β€œWhat the hell are you doing?”

He said, β€œLike everyone else, I’m working from home.”

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
I recently misplaced some of my game pieces for Yahtzee, and honestly it’s been hell, so I decided to make some posters to put up around the apartment complex:

Pair of dice, LOST.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/okaypuck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
β€œMy wife said: having a baby hurts like hell”

I asked in response if she thought it was β€œBirth-while”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lemmeticklethatpp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
It sure would be one hell of a confusion
πŸ‘︎ 152
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/krishgiria
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to Hell for burning a Bible and shooting up the ashes with a syringe.

I guess I shouldn't have taken the Lord's name in vein.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
Back in the 80's...I was a teenager full of obsessions, even Phil Collins was one of them. What the hell was thinking back then..

... But hey !! Take a look at me now.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
HuaWei to hell
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheInfernoCheese
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Hell-O
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunedune
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My beekeeping brother stumbled upon my collection of honeybee legs, screaming "What the hell is this?"

I responded, "It's none of your bee's knees."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
I’m looking forward to the new Hell’s Kitchen pasta episode

A real Al dente’s inferno

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/badjayplaness
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
I'm going to hell for laughing at this
πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why the hell anyone would make a plant based burger is beyond

meat

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ldb477
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
πŸ‘︎ 112
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PanPitza
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad banned me from saying "Hell", so I asked: "Have you thought of any alternative names for hell?"

He said: "I heaven't"

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/getroastednibba
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
There is one hell of a difference between bent and hellbent
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Thats one hell of a beeard
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flamys123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a circle of hell for pin humour
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bi0_B1lly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Church is boring as hell
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ayunami2000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are there gates to heaven and hell?

Because people are dying to get in

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Midget-boi2000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What you get when you play the song "walk with me in hell" at double speed?

"Sprint with me in hell"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shaicnaan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I know a woman who has committed herself to cleaning other peoples’ homes indefinitely, and makes a hell of a lot of money for it.

She’s maid for life.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KubaKomorebi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm going to hell but I at least had fun.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArbiterInqui
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Sister: Why the hell am I still down here?

Me: That's how gravity works.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BritSarcasm
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m going to hell for this
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Azmodius666
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I found out there's a sect within Satanists that believes hell isnt fire and brimstone, but rather rime and ice.

This is why they say "Hail, Satan"

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pikkl_rikk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
If a cow died and went to hell, who would greet it?

Moocifer.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scrotalBlossom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A mathematician comes home drunk at 3 AM. His wife: Hey, you promised to be in by 1145. What the hell happened?

Him: No, I told you I’ll be home by a quarter of twelve.

πŸ‘︎ 810
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
🚨︎ report
If someone does something dumb in Heaven/Hell, are they making a "grave-mistake"?
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BurritoBro91234
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What does the devil say when he reads a joke. That was hell-arious
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hyplex81
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
You'll get your money in hell!
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncle_Lenney
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
You know how to make holly water? You boil the hell out out of it.
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bella-Bradshaw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
To make holy water you need to boil the hell out of it.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LewTuber707
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
People in wheelchairs are going to hell.

It’s a stairway to heaven.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellaMajestic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is there mud on shoe hell?

Because it's sole sucking.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Exdoodles
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender tells him to get the hell out.

He says, β€œWhat’s wrong? I’m a fun guy!”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JjrShabadoo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What hurts like hell and smells like grass?

A lawnmower

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StrangeOne101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
So I dadjoked the hell out of my dadjoking boss

My boss is a good guy and a good boss, but he always says the same 5 or so jokes (he has two young kids). Anytime he pulls up to a job that we've been working on its "you aren't done yet?" or its "great job, but why are they upside down". Every time someone walks up to a job they get a loud "shhhh, here they come". I can go on and on, he has comedy routines for almost every situation.

So that's what I have to deal with.

Last weekend he took a mini-vacation, and brought me back a bottle of hot sauce (I'm something of a heatseeker) and the bottle was layer with all sorts of sexual innuendo that it'll get you hard and great at sex.

The other day I send him a text message around lunch time that only said "I have to go to the emergency room." Not 30 seconds pass and I get a phone call from him.

Boss: "What happened?"

Me: "Well, this morning I put some of that hot sauce you gave me on my eggs, and I've had an erection lasting more than four hours."

Boss: dryly "Ha. Ha. Haaa."

Meanwhi

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ejh3k
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the atheist say upon arriving in hell?

Well, I'll be damned!

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oranje25
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't get what Christians are trying to warn us about. Hell sounds like a great place

People are dying to get there.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/4StoryADay4
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I was absolutely livid at my doctor. He said I had a brain tumour that wasn’t malignant, whatever the hell that meant.

I was visibly panicking, but I lost it when he said it’s β€œAll in your head.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neloc1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Oh its really gonna be a hell of a view when you fall off
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MADirewolf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
"Have you considered using an alternative name for Hell?"

"I Heaven't"

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jotthisdown98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?

You get a SaTan

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Samwise3s
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
How to sinners get out of Hell?

They have to be SINcere to god

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CemorTittiee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My deaf wife just told me to get the hell out.

That is not a good sign.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Car commercial editors are racist as hell...

...they're always crushing the blacks.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/geoffbowman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Watt the hell !
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redotak
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Yesterday my neighbor asked to borrow my copy of the movie β€œIt”. I proceeded to beat him up. My wife asked me why the hell I would beat him up.

I told her he was asking for It.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cubic-Zirconia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Recently found out Hell was made of demon beaver homes?

So that's what they meant by eternal dam nation.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scarfhero
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
The Bible scares the hell out of me
πŸ‘︎ 610
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jake_Kihh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
🚨︎ report
What the hell happened to this sub?

https://imgur.com/a/3Q9maRC

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chumbawamba56
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I gave my wife a slutty girl accountant for her birthday and she asked me, "What the hell is this?"

"Well...it's the thot that counts."

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/carks
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What is hell made out of?

Sinned-er blocks

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PixelSticksZero
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
If Satan ever lost his hair, there would be hell toupee
πŸ‘︎ 322
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mflaherty7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2017
🚨︎ report
What kind of plants do they grow in Hell?

Purga Trees.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phillepips
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Express train to hell. imgur.com/09X5ikf
πŸ‘︎ 344
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/v_cleaner
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2016
🚨︎ report
I don't want to go to hell.

I decided to take steps to avoid it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arklaw
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
If Donald Trump wins tomorrow, there will be hell toupee
πŸ‘︎ 401
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VeLZoR
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2016
🚨︎ report
I'm so upset. What the hell happened to this sub?

https://imgur.com/DcTk0Z0

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MegaRayquaza1337
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the shoe go to hell?

He lost his sole.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArcWalrus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
🚨︎ report
A son says to his dad, "Hey I'm going to get a soda, you need anything?". The dad says, "Yeah, get me a beer. Actually, make it two cans.". The son goes into the kitchen and is gone for about an hour and a half. The door opens up and he asks his son, "What the hell took so long?".

The son says, "Well it wasn't easy. I had to go to like three different pet stores before I found one that sold toucans.".

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin_Kush
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I know this Anesthesiologist. Dude is boring as hell.

Every time I'm around him he puts me to sleep.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LHMark
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
🚨︎ report
This morning my wife and I walked in to the kitchen only to find a panda bear frying up some eggs and bacon for breakfast. My wife exclaimed in horror: β€œWhat the hell is that?!”

β€œA frying pan. Duh!”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ErikMFoss
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Hell hath no fury like...
πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/petey_empty
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2014
🚨︎ report
Want to make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/taviddennant03
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2017
🚨︎ report
What do fish hear in Hell?

The whales of the damned.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theninja94
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What the hell happened to Windows 9?

When Windows 10 came out, Windows 7 8 9.

(from Microsoft)

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kona_worldwaker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the pole go to heaven or hell after it died?

Because it was stuck in limbo.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tacoshmaco89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Our aunt made a religiously-themed painting. After looking at it, my brother told me we're going to hell.

"We have seen the Aunty Christ."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
🚨︎ report
"What the hell is Roman cheese?"

"A cheese that won't sit still."

And here I am....still wondering...

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phantomcellphone
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the fishmonger go to hell?

He sold his sole to the devil.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thkoog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bored cow in hell?

A black Angus flamin' yawn (filet mignon)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
🚨︎ report
The dad joke I'm going to hell for

I was watching tv in the office when a story about heart transplantation comes on. Without missing a beat I turn to my co-worker and say: "well he's pretty heartless", she turns and nods, turning her attention back to the tv and then looks back at me a second later with a look of disgust but also smiling.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tom555
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2014
🚨︎ report
My buddy: "Just picked up a Tom Jones vinyl for $4! Hell yeah." Me: "That's not unusual."
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amoore109
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2016
🚨︎ report
When someone is burning in hell, is he generating soular power?
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeviAEthan512
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the first fishmonger go to hell?

Because he sold his sole to the devil.

Why did the second fishmonger go to hell?

Because he was a sadistic serial killer who raped and tortured his victims.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thkoog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Nobody hangs in Hell

Because it's run by Looseifur.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/N00b_Ops
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2016
🚨︎ report
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bananasplitz14
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of plants do they grow in Hell?

Purga Trees.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phillepips
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œHow do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.”
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WeTriedOnce
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2016
🚨︎ report

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