I hade to remove my oldest dagger from my knife collection

It just didn't cut it anymore

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ‘€︎ u/CCplusplus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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Persephone asked Hades for dessert and in response he threw a stone at here and said

Here’s a palm o’ granite

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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I wish I hade a contortionist friend named Justin so I can carry him around in a suit case...

... just in case

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gr8hous3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2016
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Hades is a way nicer guy than he seems...

People really myth judge him.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/sk1nnyjeans
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2015
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never apollogize
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ‘€︎ u/bitchyswiftie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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My dad banned me from saying "Hell", so I asked: "Have you thought of any alternative names for hell?"

He said: "I heaven't"

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ‘€︎ u/getroastednibba
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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If all dogs go to heaven

Then do cats go to purr-gatory?

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ‘€︎ u/letrollface1279
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2017
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I got a date to prom.

I got a date to prom, so I went home to get ready only to relize that I was late. So I have to run down to the limo rental place. The line there was pretty long and after that, I hade to get flowers & chocolate. The line there was also pretty long. Then after that, I finally went to pick her up, she was pretty upset but forgived me and we arrived at our destination. I then got thirst and thank god there was no Punch Line.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/Daxdax_Universe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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