Trump's top aides have Coronavirus

It would appear he has a staff infection

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WellWrested
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Y'all hear that "The Kool-Aide Man" started a baseball team?

He's the pitcher.

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call all the times Trump and his aides have angrily refuted that he had sex with a porn star?

Stormy denials

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/occamrazor1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
🚨︎ report
If the Third Reich had employed barnyard animals, its top aides to the Farmer would have been Heinrich Hammler and Joseph Gobbles

and they would be fighting Joseph Stallion and Franklin D. Roostervelt.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yuktobania
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2014
🚨︎ report
I just bought myself a new first aid kit...

Thought I'd treat myself.

πŸ‘︎ 148
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I really want to try Kool-Aid, but...

I can’t figure out how to get 2 quarts of water in that tiny little envelope.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I heard the Kool Aid man is starting a baseball team.

He's the pitcher.

πŸ‘︎ 227
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cryingstlfan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call Scandinavian first aid classes?

How to Save a Leif

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hungytoaster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
When a cougar gets so old, she needs a hearing aid...

....she becomes a Def leopard.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
From my 11 year old daughter. Did you hear the one about the man with the broken hearing aids?

Neither has he...

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thrillhouse74
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I am trying to convince my dad to get a new hearing aid.

But he just won’t listen.

πŸ‘︎ 193
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Shout out to my grandpa

That’s the only way he can hear you

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/havenotredditt
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend wagered that I didn't know another word for aiding in a wrongdoing...

I said "that's abet!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Just finished watching a documentary on how Kool-Aid was made

It was stirring

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How long does it take to fix a hearing aid?

I submitted mine for repairs three weeks ago and I haven't heard a thing since then.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who had lots of phone sex?

He caught hearing aids.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Does anyone know how long it takes to repair a hearing aid?

I sent mine away 2 weeks ago and I haven't heard anything since.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..

But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
In response to the American coin shortage, Canada has committed to providing the U.S. aid

They give us Nickelback

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SquireX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the joke about the guy with the broke hearing aid?

Neither did he!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sith_Lord35
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad was bragging about his new hearing aid. β€œState of the Art,” he said, β€œIt cost me a fortune.”

I said, β€œAwesome. What type is it?”

He said, β€œ Two thirty.”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I've heard they just launched the new reptilian-focused aid programme.

They called it Gatorade.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/avohka
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Did anyone see the news story about the HIV virus mutating to affect citrus plants?

It can cause lemon AIDS.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I cut myself and now I need to listen to some music to make sure it heals good.

Or how the doctor put it, "A band aid."

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend said she might leave me because I didn't give her sufficient First-Aid assistance when she needed it.

Well, I wouldn't put it plaster

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
An old man was telling his friend about his new hearing aid, "the greatest in the world!" "You can hear a pin drop."

Friend: Wow! What kind is it?

Old man: quarter past 2.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I told me my doctor I didn’t want her to give me stitches.

She said β€œfine, suture self.”

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/20ftScarf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Gatorade should run some kind of charity promotion where they raise funds to help preserve endangered species of alligator.

Gator-aid.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Funkbuster_G
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I believe instead of 911 or 112, in case of a medical emergency you should call 12345678

Because that's the proper First Aid number

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sjoeqie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
The other day I walked into my son's room and found him with an open first aid kit, preparing to stitch up a cut on his forearm.

I told him to stop and that I would take him to the doctor for a more rofessional job. He told me he wanted to do it as he was working on his first aid merit badge for the boy scouts. So I said, "Suture self."

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danno49
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.

It’s really hard to pull off.

πŸ‘︎ 126
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
You should never have phone sex.

You might get hearing aids

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brenz61398
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
My neighbor and I have been battling with epees lately, which has aided in our friendship...

You know what they say, good fences make good neighbors.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Who says, "Bugs, you stole my hearing aids?! You're despicable!"

Deafy Duck

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor to the patient:

- Can you hear better with the hearing aid that I recommended?

- Yes, I can. Thank you very much, doctor. I've already re-written my Will 3 times.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FullMoon-Horror
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a swarm of bees that have AIDS?

A HIVe

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DiscoPotato69
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an old "cougar" that needs hearing aids?

A Def Leppard

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Javery003
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I am trying to convince my dad to get a new hearing aid.

But he just won’t listen.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the guy who lost his hearing aids?

Neither did he

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Just bought a first aid kit...

Thought I'd treat myself.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Three weeks ago I sent my hearing aids in for repair.

I've heard nothing since.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..

But a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?

Neither did he.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?

Neither did he.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I sent my hearing aids in for repair about a month ago.

I’ve heard nothing since

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Must be how they got famous.

When a cougar gets so old she needs a hearing aid, she becomes a Def Leppard...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cadaverkitten94
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn't you have phone sex?

You could get hearing aids

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/philzang
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I bought myself a first aid kit today.

I thought I would Treat myself.

πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hirsty19784
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?

Neither did he.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.