My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, β€œQuick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…

β€œThat’s for stinging my wife!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
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From a post about a jellyfish shot.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moon307
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Why are there so many jellyfish...

But no peanut butter fish?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/red5pies
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bentnotbroken96
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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If a cat is the opposite of a dog, what's the opposite of a jellyfish?

A peanut butter fish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OphrysApifera
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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Due to Pollution and overfishing, many jellyfish go their whole lives

Without meeting a peanutbutterfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2017
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What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?

A man o' war.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Liaeriel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2016
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What's Kraken
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Void_SNR
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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What fish tastes best with peanut butter...

Jellyfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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Pun pet names.

Pets I want to have....

An otter name Harry Otter. A snake named Severus Snake. A tortoise named Voldetort. A chicken named Kylo Hen. A dog named Barkamedes. A deer named David Hasselhoof. A turkey named Green Gobbleen. A cat named Captain Ameowrica. A stork named Tony Stork. A pig named Peter Porker. A crocodile named Croctor Strange. A duck named Ducktor Doom. A squid named Abraham Inkin. A goose named Ryan Gooseling. A heron named Charlize Heron. A goat named Selena Goatmez An alpaca named Alpacachino. A carp name Leonardo Di’Carprio. A tuna named Tuna Turner. A horse named Neighlor Swift. A toad named Demi Lavatoad. A Rhino named Ryan Rhinolds. A swan named Swan Jovi. A Falcon named Jimmy Falcon. A ferret named Ferret Faucet. A rabbit named Hoptimus Prime. A cow named Moolissa McCarthy. A crow named Seth Crowgan. A fox named Charlie Fox. A cat named Katy Purry. A wolf named Howly Berry. A hamster named Scarlet Johamster. A parrot named Squakin Phoenix. A duck nam

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clixer712
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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My ten year old fist bumps me and does the 'exploding hand' afterwards ...

After he explodes his hand I look down at my still clenched fist. I slowly raise it near my ear confused and shake it. I then explode it in my face almost knocking me off me feet. I look at him sternly and say, "You could have killed me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twisted_Logic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2014
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What kind of fish goes with peanut butter?

A jellyfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeyD_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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What fish goes good with peanut butter?

Jellyfish!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Timeatsbrains
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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A torch was passed from my father to me last weekend.

I grew up in Northern California and have visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium a few times as a kid.

Every. Goddam. Time. My dad would pause in front of the jellyfish tank and say "You kids think these are cool, wait till you see the peanut butter fish. Maybe they will make you a sandwich."

So on saturday my mom and dad accompanied me and my family there for the first time in years. When we got to the jellyfish I was ready, and beat my dad to the punch. My three year old thought I was serious of course, but my five year old daughter is pretty sharp and she called me out.

My dad leaned down and congratulated her for not being duped. He then said "Let's go check out the tuna tank." My daughter got excited and said "They have TUNA?!"

Grinning, my dad said "Yes sweetheart, and just like at Red Lobster, you get to pick which one you want and they will make you a sandwich."

The old man has still got it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robinson217
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2015
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Got dad joked hard at work today

I was wearing shorts, and my jellyfish tattoo on my leg was showing. My friend and co-worker passes and says "nice tat! Did it sting when you got it?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/demevalos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2014
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My dad and I were walking around at a protected tide pool...

When he spotted a jellyfish stuck between two rocks and, without skipping a beat, pointed and said "Looks like we have a jelly in a jam in a preserve."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sam0109
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2014
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I just got dadjoked by my dad regarding former Miami Dolphins Robert Konrad's miraculous survival story.

I told my dad about Robert Konrad falling out of his boat and swimming 12 hours back to shore in the dark facing 10 foot waves, sharks, stinging jellyfish and 25 mile per hour winds. He poked his head around the corner and said "You know how he survived don't you? He is a dolphin." I cringed so hard since I was expecting some old man wisdom about the will to live etc. edit: actually he spent 16 hours in the water swimming for shore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Constrictorboa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2015
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Uncle pulled one at a Chinese restauarant

My cousin asks: what else can you eat jellyfish with?

His reply: peanutbutterfish, of course!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hunads
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2013
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