My friend and I are working on a tight deadline in our Dracula action figure business.
I have to make every second Count.
π︎ 114
π
︎ May 15 2021
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 21 2021
My friends say I make too many action movie puns.......
I told them I can't help it, old habits DIE HARD.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 23 2021
Got a email today from a 'Bored Housewife, 32, looking for some action."
I've sent her my ironing. That'll keep her busy.
π︎ 73
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
Where do toy stores keep their Terminator action figures?
π︎ 100
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
Voting is democracy in action. Not voting is democracy inaction.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
When I was in charge of editing an action movie, I noticed an unnecessary scene that was only slowing down the plot.
So I decided to just cut to the chase.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 13 2021
I bought my kids Avengers action figures for Christmas so I donβt have to sit and build.
They were already assembled.
π︎ 75
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
Here we see two birds of prey in full action
Or nuns as they are more commonly clawed
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
My friend got me an action figure of a birdman with an abacus for Christmas
I didnβt really want it but itβs the Thoth that counts
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
What do action heroes do when they die?
They drop kick the bucket.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
A two-star officer was so vain about how good he looked in the updated uniform...
...he ordered all flare guns to be loaded with an action figure in his likeness. That's right:
the Very model of a modern major general.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 16 2021
Hugh Jackman is making a live action Frosty movie where he joins the circus!
Itβs called The Greatest Snowman.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
I finally see why people donβt like the live action DC films!
Because they donβt do the heroes justice
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
Iβve started turning puns into homemade action figures.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 21 2020
Take responsibility for your actions.
π︎ 113
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
M.I.A, the rapper, what happened to her?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 13 2021
I watched a film about a goverment loan. There was a lot of action.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
Action figures without the Little Green Army Man footplate:
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
Putin the title
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
In the Disney animated picture, Ratatouille, Remy controls Linguini actions by pulling his hair, giving him a perfect palette. The little chefβs squeak is the only other voice Linguini ever really hears at home.
I guess you could say Remy is Linguiniβs voice of season
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
There's just no reason for women to behave the way they do when they're on their period....
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 23 2021
Hollywood is going to make an action movie about the great composers.
Sylvester Stallone said "I'll be Beethoven".
Bruce Willis said "I'll be Mozart".
Arnold Schwarzenegger said "I'll be Bach".
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 26 2020
Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.
He sometimes wishes heβd never been Bourne.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Nov 30 2019
Action Movie
Have you heard about the Bollywood action movie about a baker? Critics say it's naan stop action.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 17 2020
After seeing a dead bird I had to tell my 4 year old what it means.
I said
it Δt :
pro. Used to refer to that one previously mentioned. Used of a nonhuman entity; an animate being whose sex is unspecified, unknown, or irrelevant; a group of objects or individuals; an action; or an abstraction.
pro. Used as the subject of an impersonal verb.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 13 2021
What happened to the pilgrims who were involved in a class action lawsuit.
They reached a settlement.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 03 2020
Today I have opened my very own pizza restaurant.
I will be rolling in dough in no time.
π︎ 62
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
You know, we probably could have stopped Coronavirus if we took action last year...
Oh well. You know what they say, hindsight is 2020!
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 24 2020
Two men were caught in a severe storm
John saw a tornado out the window of Frankβs house and said to Frank
βJesus man! thatβs an F5! We gotta get to cover Frank!β
Tornado rapidly approaches within 100 yards
John was looking for the cellar door and found 2 different ones
βFor Fuckβs sake Frank which is the best cellar!?β
With the tornado bearing down on them, Frank sprang into action and grabbed the latest James Patterson novel.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 09 2021
Hey kids! Get in here! We're playing Quake with a bunch of cows, and then watching a Disney live action remake about a legendary female warrior!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 25 2020
Why donβt people take action against global warming?
Some people just want to watch the world burn
π︎ 16
π
︎ Feb 19 2020
Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coronerβs office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth.
. Mama fly looked into baby flyβs eyes and said,
βNobody puts baby in a coronerβ
π︎ 34
π
︎ Oct 11 2019
My daughter asked me for a recommendation for a good book. I told her I had the perfect book in my collection for her to read. It has drama, romance, betrayal, excitement, action, love, loss, heroes, villians, mystery and puzzles. Pretty much everything really. Excitedly she asked me for it.
I handed her the dictionary.
π︎ 463
π
︎ Jan 16 2019
I asked the shop assistant where the Terminator action figures were.
She said "Aisle B, back".
π︎ 25
π
︎ Feb 07 2020
My brother and I are working on a tight deadline in making Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make a bunch of Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
π︎ 436
π
︎ May 30 2020
My brother and I make Dracula action figures for a living, and we are on a really tight deadline.
I have to make every second Count.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jul 19 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
