Battery pun.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordBellasis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate charging batteries.

It’s revolting.

πŸ‘︎ 412
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
Does anyone want a package of dead batteries?

They're free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bob9109
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
What's called when a battery gets hurt?

AA tragedy

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
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I saw a man giving away dead batteries the other day...

I suppose you could say they were free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
What do you call an iPhone's battery?

Apple juice

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blindeye0505
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
Do you know whats the best thing about dead batteries?

They're free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 145
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Where did the alcoholic battery go?

An AA meeting!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scamperly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
There's a woman in the park selling batteries...

She sells, C cells by the seesaw.

πŸ‘︎ 148
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
The cops arrested 2 kids at the park. One was eating battery acid, the other was eating fireworks

They charged one and let off the other!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrboston617
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
I gave all my used batteries away today

Free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeersForSmarch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
True story: As kids, my sister and I were fighting over the TV remote and it got heated. The remote flew across the room and a couple AAA batteries fell out. My sister threw one at me, and I grabbed a nearby salt shaker and threw it at her.

My mother, who was watching this go down, just laughs and says, "Assault and battery!"

She then left the room, cackling.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danieltkessler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
What type of battery do you need if your car breaks down?

Triple A

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smiledude94
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
What kind of batteries do they use in Canada?

Triple Eh

πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jrgonz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Batteries have split personalities

On the one side, they are positive, while on the other, they are negative

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeaconOnAChairMC
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally cleaned out my junk drawer and gave away all my dead batteries

free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scopehound
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I found a load of batteries washed up on the beach.

I was collecting C Cells on the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My gf made me give away my collection of dead batteries

They were free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/postymcpostface21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The other day I saw a bucket at the hardware store with a sign that said: dead batteries - $1 each.

I thought to myself β€œthese should be free of charge”.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/corbimatic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally left some AA batteries in my pocket when I put them in the wash

That's what I call clean energy

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dcschnazz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Robin: β€œThe Batmobil isn’t starting!” Batman: β€œDid you charge the battery?”

Robin: β€œWhat the hell is a tery?”

πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rafwaf123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The store near me is having a sale on batteries.

If you buy two packs, they'll throw in a pack of dead ones, free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brownie-mix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What is Fonzies favorite battery?

The double aaaayyyyyyyyyy.....

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gtx28
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I was recording my wife’s speech at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, but my battery died halfway through.

Now I’ll never hear the end of it.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My phone battery is 69% right now
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrTallinn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign in a shop window that said "Watch batteries fitted, Β£2.50."

I thought β€œWhy would anyone pay to see that?”

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a great joke about Iphone battery life!

It is really p

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I noticed 2 large bumps on my car battery.

I had them tested and one came back positive. Google says it’s terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 384
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CodyClay1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
which sea creature wants smaller batteries?

the "more A" eel

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrimsunV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My Battery is dead
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AutGamer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
F in the chat for all the batteries in the world who have died.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeltedSSD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend sat on a battery the other day.

I asked if they were shocked?

I know, I know, it’s a revolting joke.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/davidwayland
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I met Sally, a young woman who operates a battery kiosk at our local community park.

Sally sells C-cells by the Seesaw.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, β€œwhy isn’t there B batteries?”

I said, β€œSon, bees don’t need batteries”

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PandaYoshi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Does anyone want a pack of dead batteries?

They are free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ddodd69
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
what do you call an iphone's battery?

apple juice

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
The police arrested to kids yesterday, one was eating fireworks, and the other was drinking battery acid

They charged one, and let the other off

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryDumbDonkey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
We have a box of dead batteries at home.

They are all free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gp_11
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
My remote control batteries died today.

So I gave them away, free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YasookMadeek
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
I took dead batteries from the store

They were free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kCaLbN
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
My friend gave me some dead batteries

They were free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSugarBowl105
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
I have a bunch of dead batteries if anyone is interested...

They’re free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Taubin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
I gave a flat battery away today.

Free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rfcoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I gave all my dead batteries away today

Free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saiyyanwarrior
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I gave away my dead batteries

Free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 152
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Robin: β€œThe Batmobil isn’t starting!” Batman: β€œDid you charge the battery?”

Robin: β€œWhat the hell is a tery?”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsDarthVader
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My neighbor was giving away batteries

They were free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report

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