Battery pun.
πŸ‘︎ 308
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordBellasis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I gave away all of my batteries yesterday.

And the best part, it was free of charge!

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iworkforthemafia
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
I noticed 2 large bumps on my car battery.

I had them tested and one came back positive. Google says it’s terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 381
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CodyClay1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I met Sally, a young woman who operates a battery kiosk at our local community park.

Sally sells C-cells by the Seesaw.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
I bought some dead batteries

They were free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
The other day I saw a bucket at the hardware store with a sign that said: dead batteries - $1 each.

I thought to myself β€œthese should be free of charge”.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/corbimatic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
I just gave away my dead batteries

They were free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drippydead111
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
The store near me is having a sale on batteries.

If you buy two packs, they'll throw in a pack of dead ones, free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brownie-mix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I put batteries in a mouse

For some reason I was kicked out of the pet store

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coffeemist90881
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
As we turned down the street I told my kids to bring batteries.

I then pointed to the β€œno outlet” sign.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bp1108
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
Why did Jon Snow need a new battery?

For the watch.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
A car battery was arrested by the cops for causing trouble at the bar

But they had to let him go, they couldn’t find anything to charge him with.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
My phone was showing "Battery low". So I placed it on top of the cupboard.

It worked. Can't see the notification any more.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madjholu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
I gave all my dead batteries away today...

free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
I love it when I restock the battery drawer

It just feels nice to have all this power.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarkovManiac
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
I wrote a story about someone who is experiencing angst about buying batteries:

"A? AA? AAA? AAAA!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Robin: β€œThe Batmobil isn’t starting!” Batman: β€œDid you charge the battery?”

Robin: β€œWhat the hell is a tery?”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsDarthVader
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad tried to invent a new lithium-ion battery.

But he failed, because he wasn't Goodenough.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who got the death sentence for eating a battery?

He was electrically charged

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goblintern
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
Ah, yes batteries
πŸ‘︎ 317
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VinceDC
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
When you are in charge of the twitter account during national battery day
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DidrikNL
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
Have you read the book batteries not included by:

Ray Ovac?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
Anybody want some dead batteries?

They’re free of charge!

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AJohns9316
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29
🚨︎ report
How did the battery know the letter was for him?

It was addressed to current resident!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
This Corona Virus pandemic has caused my local shop to start stocking dead batteries

They’re free of charge !

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teeheeofficial
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
I saw some dead batteries at a yard sale.

When I asked how much, the lady said they were free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mysticune
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
What did the Lithium ion battery say to the Zinc-Carbon battery?

You only live once.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
I just saw a AAA battery-delivery truck run a red light. Hope he doesn't get charged.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
I gave away all my used batteries today.

Free of charge!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luminouspotato
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
I'm selling batteries

Free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PinkShrimpz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
I once came across some dead batteries...

They were all free of charge!

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwitchGuru
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
Battery
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrientAsp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
My Battery is dead
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AutGamer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I just grabbed a few dead batteries...

They were free of charge!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bookiller4518
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
You should know you can help to recycle dead batteries and return them in most supermarkets

It's free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BenderDeLorean
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
I was checking out at the grocery store and the cashier didn’t put the batteries in the same bag with my food and I said it’s cool go ahead and put them in the same bag I don’t care he looked at me with a straight face and said…

Is that how you get your electrolytes?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
So, I was on the train the other day, and you know how it takes a while to get to the city, well my phone battery was flat and I didn't have a book, so I was a bit bored, but then I realised that there is all this cool graffiti on the tunnel walls... and um... so my phone was dead... and.. the city?

Oh darn it! I lost my train of thought.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
My battery died when I was recording my wife giving a toast at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary.

Now I’m never going to hear the end of it.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are dead batteries free?

Cause they're free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vico__Staps
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
I've been giving away dead batteries

They ARE free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kazanis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
Why did the king eat a bunch of batteries?

He was power-hungry.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pseudopseudonym
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm Ambivalent about Batteries

They have their positives and negatives.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
So a dead battery walks into a bar and orders a drink. He asks the bartender how much.

For you? No charge.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
My brother let me keep his phone, which ran out of battery

It was free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AltBrutus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A-SALSA-BATTERY!
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deweywebber
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
If a battery is dead does that mean it is current ly not working.

I kind of thought it was a positive joke.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dendeqtele
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw a sign at the store that said "used batteries"

I'm guessing they were free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do a dead battery and a maxed out credit card have in common?

They both decline the charges

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
R: "Batman, the batmobile is making a clicking sound and won't start." BM: "Check the battery."

R: "What's a tery?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Police arrested two boys today. One was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one, and let the other one off.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
If a battery is dead does that mean it is current ly not working. reddit.com/r/puns/comment…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dendeqtele
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Went to buy batteries today

They were free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahmadh26
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get...

Arrested

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NovAlphaPapa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently read somewhere that there’s actually no battery acid in your iPhone’s battery...

It’s powered by Apple juice.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery.

He charged one and let the other one off.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I gave my neighbour my dead car battery today...

Free of charge!

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A donkey walks into a bar with a battery pack on his back.

Bartender says "I dont mind the long face but dont you start nothing"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Edequalluv
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
The energizer bunny was arrested for battery.

This joke keeps going and going.

Edit; Did you hear...? The energizer bunny was charged with battery.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellaMajestic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the phone say to his friend before his battery ran out? reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cherub3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Got bamboozled by a guy giving away batteries.

Or maybe not? After all, he did say they were free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Owens2k3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The battery in my remote died.

I guess you could say my battery had a terminal illness.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cl350rg
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
For Sale. Old batteries, free of charge.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toffeemanstan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
🚨︎ report
After he had completed the "Potato Battery" project in school...

...my father decided that he was going to create a new potato breed that could be utilized for bigger electrical needs and he planned to change the world. After much trial and error, he ended up cross-breeding a new hybrid potato that was powerful enough to be used in a car!

After much thought, he decided to name his new potato breed....

"Alter-tator"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainMidwest
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
The end of my battery has corrosion...

I think it's terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Giving away my old car battery.

It's free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjs65
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I sympathize with batteries

I’m never included in anything either.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhabibs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad gave away all of his dead batteries today

Free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Obie_Prod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do they put in IPhone batteries?

Apple juice

πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/natearnoldfdhs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Batteries
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemanStink23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when batteries speak with each other?

AA Meeting

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fredwet07
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How much do dead batteries cost?

Nothing, they’re free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SekariTwo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I get how batteries feel because I’m rarely included in things too.
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Batteries
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/therecameahero
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
No the battery
πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Speedy0423
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the store giving away empty batteries? They were free of charge?
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TacticalNintendo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My battery was at 101%, Sorry, I Had To Make It.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/San4Ma
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Whenever my friend walks into a room, he has this weird habit of taking the batteries out of all the clocks.

He claims he can stop it at any time.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How much does a dead battery cost?
πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do batteries feel lonely?

Because they are never included in anything.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Is that battery used? Na, it’s...
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I met Sally, a young woman who operates a battery kiosk at our local community park.

Sally sells C-cells by the Seesaw.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
Today I gave my dead batteries away

They were free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Crazy_Squid_420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
Have you read the book batteries not included...

By Ray Of?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
I gave all of my dead batteries away today.

Free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmy-jen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I gave all my dead batteries away today...

Free of charge!

πŸ‘︎ 134
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I gave all my dead batteries away today…

Free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonyrigogliosi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A police caught two kids one was playing with a battery and one was playing with a firework.

He charged one and let the other one off.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LOOP727
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report

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