Battery pun.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordBellasis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I gave a flat battery away today.

Free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rfcoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Batteries have split personalities

On the one side, they are positive, while on the other, they are negative

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeaconOnAChairMC
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally cleaned out my junk drawer and gave away all my dead batteries

free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scopehound
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of batteries do they use in Canada?

Triple Eh

πŸ‘︎ 123
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jrgonz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Fonzies favorite battery?

The double aaaayyyyyyyyyy.....

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gtx28
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I found a load of batteries washed up on the beach.

I was collecting C Cells on the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My gf made me give away my collection of dead batteries

They were free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/postymcpostface21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally left some AA batteries in my pocket when I put them in the wash

That's what I call clean energy

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dcschnazz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Robin: β€œThe Batmobil isn’t starting!” Batman: β€œDid you charge the battery?”

Robin: β€œWhat the hell is a tery?”

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rafwaf123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign in a shop window that said "Watch batteries fitted, Β£2.50."

I thought β€œWhy would anyone pay to see that?”

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I gave all my dead batteries away today

Free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saiyyanwarrior
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I was recording my wife’s speech at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, but my battery died halfway through.

Now I’ll never hear the end of it.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a great joke about Iphone battery life!

It is really p

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
which sea creature wants smaller batteries?

the "more A" eel

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrimsunV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My neighbor was giving away batteries

They were free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
F in the chat for all the batteries in the world who have died.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeltedSSD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My phone battery is 69% right now
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrTallinn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The other day I saw a bucket at the hardware store with a sign that said: dead batteries - $1 each.

I thought to myself β€œthese should be free of charge”.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/corbimatic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
The store near me is having a sale on batteries.

If you buy two packs, they'll throw in a pack of dead ones, free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brownie-mix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend sat on a battery the other day.

I asked if they were shocked?

I know, I know, it’s a revolting joke.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/davidwayland
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œHow much do you want for that flat battery?”

β€œOh, that’s free of charge”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The cops caught two fellas, one drinking battery acid and the other eating fireworks

One was charged, the other was let off

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FireFlavour
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I noticed 2 large bumps on my car battery.

I had them tested and one came back positive. Google says it’s terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 384
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CodyClay1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the potato chip bag say to the battery?

I’m Frito Lay if you’re Eveready.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/static612
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Local police caught two men drinking battery acid and eating fireworks

They charged one and let the other one off.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vibe666
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I just noticed two large bumps on my car battery.

I had one of them tested, and it was positive. Hope it's not terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/throwingitout2day
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, β€œwhy isn’t there B batteries?”

I said, β€œSon, bees don’t need batteries”

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PandaYoshi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I met Sally, a young woman who operates a battery kiosk at our local community park.

Sally sells C-cells by the Seesaw.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I gave away all of my batteries yesterday.

And the best part, it was free of charge!

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iworkforthemafia
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought some dead batteries

They were free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My Battery is dead
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AutGamer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How well did the battery made using chicken ovules work out you ask?

It worked eggcellently.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deciperer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The police arrested two kids yesterday during a protest. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating firecrackers.

They charged one, and lit the other off.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I put batteries in a mouse

For some reason I was kicked out of the pet store

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coffeemist90881
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Ah, yes batteries
πŸ‘︎ 320
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VinceDC
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I love it when I restock the battery drawer

It just feels nice to have all this power.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarkovManiac
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was arrested for beating up someone with a battery-shaped dildo

He was charged with sexual battery.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reyzorblade
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A car battery was arrested by the cops for causing trouble at the bar

But they had to let him go, they couldn’t find anything to charge him with.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My phone was showing "Battery low". So I placed it on top of the cupboard.

It worked. Can't see the notification any more.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madjholu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
As we turned down the street I told my kids to bring batteries.

I then pointed to the β€œno outlet” sign.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bp1108
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Jon Snow need a new battery?

For the watch.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
When you are in charge of the twitter account during national battery day
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DidrikNL
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw a AAA battery-delivery truck run a red light. Hope he doesn't get charged.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I gave away my dead batteries

Free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 151
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Robin: β€œThe Batmobil isn’t starting!” Batman: β€œDid you charge the battery?”

Robin: β€œWhat the hell is a tery?”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsDarthVader
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I just gave away my dead batteries

They were free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drippydead111
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report

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