Battery pun.
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︎ Jan 20 2019
I gave a flat battery away today.
π︎ 28
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Batteries have split personalities
On the one side, they are positive, while on the other, they are negative
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︎ Dec 26 2020
I finally cleaned out my junk drawer and gave away all my dead batteries
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︎ Nov 24 2020
What kind of batteries do they use in Canada?
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︎ Oct 07 2020
What is Fonzies favorite battery?
The double aaaayyyyyyyyyy.....
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︎ Dec 01 2020
I found a load of batteries washed up on the beach.
I was collecting C Cells on the sea shore.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
My gf made me give away my collection of dead batteries
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︎ Nov 04 2020
I accidentally left some AA batteries in my pocket when I put them in the wash
That's what I call clean energy
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︎ Oct 25 2020
Robin: βThe Batmobil isnβt starting!β Batman: βDid you charge the battery?β
Robin: βWhat the hell is a tery?β
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︎ Oct 07 2020
I saw a sign in a shop window that said "Watch batteries fitted, Β£2.50."
I thought βWhy would anyone pay to see that?β
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︎ Nov 08 2020
I gave all my dead batteries away today
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︎ Sep 13 2020
I was recording my wifeβs speech at her parentsβ 50th wedding anniversary, but my battery died halfway through.
Now Iβll never hear the end of it.
π︎ 42
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︎ Sep 10 2020
I have a great joke about Iphone battery life!
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︎ Sep 11 2020
which sea creature wants smaller batteries?
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︎ Sep 16 2020
My neighbor was giving away batteries
They were free of charge.
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︎ Aug 11 2020
F in the chat for all the batteries in the world who have died.
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︎ Aug 18 2020
My phone battery is 69% right now
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︎ Jun 17 2020
The other day I saw a bucket at the hardware store with a sign that said: dead batteries - $1 each.
I thought to myself βthese should be free of chargeβ.
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︎ Jan 08 2020
The store near me is having a sale on batteries.
If you buy two packs, they'll throw in a pack of dead ones, free of charge.
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︎ Dec 21 2019
My friend sat on a battery the other day.
I asked if they were shocked?
I know, I know, itβs a revolting joke.
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︎ Jul 24 2020
βHow much do you want for that flat battery?β
βOh, thatβs free of chargeβ
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 07 2020
The cops caught two fellas, one drinking battery acid and the other eating fireworks
One was charged, the other was let off
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︎ Sep 09 2020
I noticed 2 large bumps on my car battery.
I had them tested and one came back positive. Google says itβs terminal.
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︎ Apr 19 2020
What did the potato chip bag say to the battery?
Iβm Frito Lay if youβre Eveready.
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︎ Aug 07 2020
Local police caught two men drinking battery acid and eating fireworks
They charged one and let the other one off.
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︎ Aug 09 2020
I just noticed two large bumps on my car battery.
I had one of them tested, and it was positive. Hope it's not terminal.
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︎ Aug 11 2020
My son asked me, βwhy isnβt there B batteries?β
I said, βSon, bees donβt need batteriesβ
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︎ Jun 14 2020
Yesterday I met Sally, a young woman who operates a battery kiosk at our local community park.
Sally sells C-cells by the Seesaw.
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︎ May 22 2020
I gave away all of my batteries yesterday.
And the best part, it was free of charge!
π︎ 41
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︎ May 28 2020
I bought some dead batteries
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︎ Apr 30 2020
My Battery is dead
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︎ Mar 13 2019
How well did the battery made using chicken ovules work out you ask?
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︎ Jul 28 2020
The police arrested two kids yesterday during a protest. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating firecrackers.
They charged one, and lit the other off.
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︎ Jun 22 2020
I put batteries in a mouse
For some reason I was kicked out of the pet store
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︎ Apr 17 2020
Ah, yes batteries
π︎ 320
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︎ Dec 24 2019
I love it when I restock the battery drawer
It just feels nice to have all this power.
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︎ Apr 11 2020
A man was arrested for beating up someone with a battery-shaped dildo
He was charged with sexual battery.
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︎ Jun 27 2020
A car battery was arrested by the cops for causing trouble at the bar
But they had to let him go, they couldnβt find anything to charge him with.
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︎ Apr 02 2020
My phone was showing "Battery low". So I placed it on top of the cupboard.
It worked. Can't see the notification any more.
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︎ Apr 22 2020
As we turned down the street I told my kids to bring batteries.
I then pointed to the βno outletβ sign.
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︎ May 09 2020
Why did Jon Snow need a new battery?
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︎ May 13 2020
When you are in charge of the twitter account during national battery day
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︎ Feb 18 2020
I just saw a AAA battery-delivery truck run a red light. Hope he doesn't get charged.
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︎ Jan 13 2020
I gave away my dead batteries
π︎ 151
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Robin: βThe Batmobil isnβt starting!β Batman: βDid you charge the battery?β
Robin: βWhat the hell is a tery?β
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︎ Oct 08 2019
I just gave away my dead batteries
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 04 2020
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