It was a loco motive.
I guess you could say that the "Joker" without an R is just a joke.
He was a danger to himself and udders.
He was a danger to himself and udders.
A "meow-wow", i suppose you could call it.
Caught in the act he admits, "Honey, I've been living a lye..."
Such a random way to start a conversation.
He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.
His Dad finally grounded him
One takes things literally and the other takes things, literally.
What an udder disappointment.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:
Dear Mrs. Harris:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an off
After five years you can be released for good behavior.
I apologize in advance as this isn't exactly a joke, but whenever my son (23) asks me this question, I always answer with a wildly incorrect age. It is even better when his friends are around. I was curious if this counts as "Dad Joke behavior" and if anyone else does this or has a dad that does it.
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to clean up the bird’s vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my... keep reading on reddit ➡
He does it to this day and laughs every time, my sister and mother have chosen to start ignoring that type of behavior which makes it funnier to me
If you ask me, that's really fowl behavior.
My sister teaches at a high school for children with learning and behavior disorders, and every year she hosts a skills summer camp.
2015 will be geology-themed, and we need help thinking of a fun name for the camp.
Previous years: 2014 Summer Scenarios: Little Egypt (Egyptian themed) 2013 Summer Scenarios (first year had no kitchy name, but it was zombie-themed)
Potential examples: Stone Throne, Rock Steady, Taken for Granite, etc.
During the live-in camp (boarding school), they'll learn survival/outdoorsmanship skills (fire starting, gardening, canoeing, etc.), and have geologists as guest speakers.
Any high school learning-friendly geology-themed blockbusters would be welcome suggestions, too--but I'll post that for the people over at /r/movies.
Thanks in advance!
Edit: Thanks to everyone who actually gave appropriate suggestions, and high-fives to those who just made rock puns. My sister selected Game of Stones.
He was released early on Gouda behavior.
They don't tolerate massage-a-mystic behavior.
He's nine, and we were talking about how he interacts with his younger sister. I sometimes need to correct some of his behavior, but I'm not too worried about it, "because your heart is in the right place"
Son: "yes, on the left side of my body"
For bag behavior
That's Abe-normal behavior
Dad: so I heard he got caught for some DOOBius behavior
Me: Well let's just it was a chronic mistake
Dad: Were his parents blunt with him?
Sadly I couldn't think of another pun
My sister is a teacher at a private high school for kids with learning and behavior difficulties. She just texted me for help with a funny slogan about spreading cheer and kicking ass.
Basically, each student "adopted" a teacher and they're going to do some sort of obstacle course. They're Santa's helpers, and have hats, shirts, and swords. She just came up with this idea at the last minute and would like help thinking of a punny tagline.
I said that's model behavior
Wife sent me these (she can't believe she's condoning this behavior):
What does the subatomic duck say? Quark Quark
Two photons arrive at the airport and they are asked if they have any luggage to check. "No thanks, we're traveling light"