Demeanor Puns

Her: "Are cows nice?"

Me: "Of course they are. That's why we tip them."

It's a mist-demeanor.

The clerk asked, How can I help you? The fella says, "I like to buy a dog please." "Sure thing, what kind of demeanor are you looking for?" the clerk asks. The guy replies, "Well, I want a guard dog, so demeanor the better."

For as long I can think of, anytime I would take my family out for supper at a restaurant, when our server would bring us the check I would in my best calm and collected demeanor advise our server "Oh table #?? said they were picking this up for us tonight", to which most servers just give a ya right smile or a simple haha nice try sir.

Well on this most recent adventure I see the check coming and get all primed and plot it all out. The server politely slides the check to me, I so graciously put my hand on it and slide it back with my recited lines delivered so perfectly "Oh yes I should have told you sooner that table 16 has offered to pick up the check tonight". Well our server burst out laughing, which to us was a surprise as its not as hilarious as she is now making it. Well when she finally stops laughing enough to talk, she so wonderfully delivers the message, "thats good to know sir - cause your sitting at table 16!"

Jokes on me! But it made for a great night of laugh at dad.

Edit - "demeanor" - where the frick was auto correct on that one. thx Enders!

I got to pick up a package and the usually greeting is exchanged, followed by the almost inevitable..

Mailman: "Anything else you need?"

Me: "Yeah, I was wondering where I could get postage stamps to send international e-mails?"

With my obvious joking demeanor, I got a grunt and a smile!