My wife’s activity today was jarring.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scartol
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a pirate's favorite computing activity?

Patching

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/s4nskrit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the ghost measure all its Halloween activities?

With its scarecard!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The saddest activity in my life is crushing my Coke cans.

Its soda pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xXWOLFXx8888
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The doctor asked my wife if she was sexually active

I told him "not really - she mostly just lies there"

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LMF5000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the love between two people that never engage in sexual activity and love eating a lot?

Gluttonic love.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlFasGD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Well I mean I would be mad...
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm pretty far on the left politically but I'm not involved in any activism

I'm passive progressive

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sycliantableigit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I like squirrels
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/note_than62
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I dad jokes my dentist while she was actively working on me.

Scene- Me, at dentist, having teeth removed. She was having a bit of trouble with some of them and this was while she had instruments in my mouth. There's some pain after maximum amount of anesthetic she can give me. Asks me how I'm doing.

Me- There is some pain in the teeth after numbing but it isn't anything I can handle.

Dentist- Last time you were here we didn't have a problem but this time your teeth are being a major pain in the butt.

Me- My teeth are a pain in the butt? No wonder people say I talk out of my ass way too much.

She had to stop for a bit to finish laughing.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nodnarb232001
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the active ingredient in self raising flour?

Initiative

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BorgClanZulu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a golfer's favorite pastime activity?

Clubbing.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fruntledumjam
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
After a procedure... Doctor: Avoid strenuous activity for the next two weeks

Me: Can I play piano?

Doctor: Yes you can.

Me: Wow! Thanks! I never could before.

πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swatttt007
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What country has the most active stripper scene?

Poland

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spikerman101
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL the color magenta doesn't exist, it is your brain trying to make sense of your red and blue cones activating while the green is inactive.

Turns out, it's a pigment of your imagination

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't Windows Active Directory Servers ever get along?

Because they were born with Trust Issues..

(facepalm)

I know.. I know.. IT Nerd DadJoke...

I'll see my way out and go back into the server room where I belong..

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad, which state supports baking as a family activity?

Whisk on, son.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shouldExist
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Is this sub still active?

There hasn’t been any posts all year.

πŸ‘︎ 36k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Fart_Liquids
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Why can't ants fund illegal activities ?

They have Anti Money Laundering

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokeretailer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get peak activity?

Climb a mountain!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Is this sub still active?

https://imgur.com/a/ggw9xpn

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MohamedKebab
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Is this sub still active?

I haven't seen a post all-

Wait... Damn it! I posted this joke too early.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rosemourne
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Sex is probably the only activity where late comers are appreciated
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doktorstrange7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the snail say to his voice activated vehicle when it asked him if he was ready to go for a drive

Yes car go

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/absurd-bird-turd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My niece who is active in politics just had a face lift...

She's an altered stateswoman.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
They said that my house is haunted

Doors opened by itself, Shower turned on by itself and many other unexplained activities.

i come to the conclusion that it was John Cena

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My middle school once had an anti-bulling activity and our teacher all told us "If you see something, say something!"

The blind kid didn't say a word for the rest of they school year.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlumeHound9
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Is this sub still active?

Nobody has posted anything all year!

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frillip
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Kids are so ambitious!

My son wants to be a doctor AND a police officer.

He said he wants to help cut down on ill eagle activity.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BSMike82
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor told me I had to avoid intense activities due to my heart condition.

Now I have to quit my job at the circus and cancel my camping trip.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRockingDead
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I built myself a speech-activated car.

I also have a regular car, but that goes without saying.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
EVA stands for Extra Vehicular Activity
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pickle16
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you know what the most intense outdoor activity is?

Camping.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Is this sub still active?

There hasn’t been a post all year.

Happy New Years from Bangkok, Thailand!

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepobv
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Damn popular for all your summer fun activities!
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/22Redtailed22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
In the future...

In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_the_Man0904
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What vegetable is the most climate active?

Green Peas

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/t-dv
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Is this sub still active?

There hasn't been any posts all year.

πŸ‘︎ 26k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Flamingturtle1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Is this sub still active?

There have been barely any posts all year.

πŸ‘︎ 204
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnMickoTheSicko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Is this sub still active?

There haven't been any posts all year!

australia squad

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ionedur
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Is this sub still active?
πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MohamedKebab
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Is this sub still active? There hasn't been a post all year
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thelukecameron
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Is this sub still active?

There haven’t been any posts all year.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMiniDuck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report

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