43 Hilarious Activeness Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

My wife’s activity today was jarring.

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👤︎ u/scartol

📅︎ Oct 13 2020

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What's a pirate's favorite computing activity?

Patching

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👤︎ u/s4nskrit

📅︎ Nov 20 2020

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How did the ghost measure all its Halloween activities?

With its scarecard!

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/Sir_Pluses

📅︎ Oct 26 2020

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The saddest activity in my life is crushing my Coke cans.

Its soda pressing.

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👤︎ u/xXWOLFXx8888

📅︎ Aug 30 2020

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The doctor asked my wife if she was sexually active

I told him "not really - she mostly just lies there"

👍︎ 19

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👤︎ u/LMF5000

📅︎ Oct 03 2020

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What do you call the love between two people that never engage in sexual activity and love eating a lot?

Gluttonic love.

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/AlFasGD

📅︎ Sep 04 2020

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Well I mean I would be mad...

👍︎ 11k

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👤︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx

📅︎ Jun 10 2020

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I'm pretty far on the left politically but I'm not involved in any activism

I'm passive progressive

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/sycliantableigit

📅︎ Aug 05 2020

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I like squirrels

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👤︎ u/note_than62

📅︎ Nov 01 2020

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I dad jokes my dentist while she was actively working on me.

Scene- Me, at dentist, having teeth removed. She was having a bit of trouble with some of them and this was while she had instruments in my mouth. There's some pain after maximum amount of anesthetic she can give me. Asks me how I'm doing.

Me- There is some pain in the teeth after numbing but it isn't anything I can handle.

Dentist- Last time you were here we didn't have a problem but this time your teeth are being a major pain in the butt.

Me- My teeth are a pain in the butt? No wonder people say I talk out of my ass way too much.

She had to stop for a bit to finish laughing.

👍︎ 34

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👤︎ u/nodnarb232001

📅︎ Jul 17 2020

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What is the active ingredient in self raising flour?

Initiative

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/BorgClanZulu

📅︎ Jun 23 2020

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What's a golfer's favorite pastime activity?

Clubbing.

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/Fruntledumjam

📅︎ Jun 17 2020

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After a procedure... Doctor: Avoid strenuous activity for the next two weeks

Me: Can I play piano?

Doctor: Yes you can.

Me: Wow! Thanks! I never could before.

👍︎ 134

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👤︎ u/swatttt007

📅︎ Mar 03 2020

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What country has the most active stripper scene?

Poland

👍︎ 17

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👤︎ u/Spikerman101

📅︎ May 26 2020

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TIL the color magenta doesn't exist, it is your brain trying to make sense of your red and blue cones activating while the green is inactive.

Turns out, it's a pigment of your imagination

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👤︎ u/ThrownAwayUsername

📅︎ Feb 28 2020

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Why can't Windows Active Directory Servers ever get along?

Because they were born with Trust Issues..

(facepalm)

I know.. I know.. IT Nerd DadJoke...

I'll see my way out and go back into the server room where I belong..

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/bad11ama

📅︎ May 06 2020

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Dad, which state supports baking as a family activity?

Whisk on, son.

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/shouldExist

📅︎ May 10 2020

🚨︎ report

Is this sub still active?

There hasn’t been any posts all year.

👍︎ 36k

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👤︎ u/I_Fart_Liquids

📅︎ Jan 01 2018

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Why can't ants fund illegal activities ?

They have Anti Money Laundering

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/dadjokeretailer

📅︎ Apr 27 2020

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How do you get peak activity?

Climb a mountain!

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/jlionbad

📅︎ Mar 02 2020

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Is this sub still active?

https://imgur.com/a/ggw9xpn

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/MohamedKebab

📅︎ Dec 31 2019

🚨︎ report

Is this sub still active?

I haven't seen a post all-

Wait... Damn it! I posted this joke too early.

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/Rosemourne

📅︎ Dec 31 2019

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Sex is probably the only activity where late comers are appreciated

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/doktorstrange7

📅︎ Nov 06 2019

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What did the snail say to his voice activated vehicle when it asked him if he was ready to go for a drive

Yes car go

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/absurd-bird-turd

📅︎ Jan 17 2020

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My niece who is active in politics just had a face lift...

She's an altered stateswoman.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Jan 29 2020

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They said that my house is haunted

Doors opened by itself, Shower turned on by itself and many other unexplained activities.

i come to the conclusion that it was John Cena

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👤︎ u/Slymood

📅︎ Oct 19 2020

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My middle school once had an anti-bulling activity and our teacher all told us "If you see something, say something!"

The blind kid didn't say a word for the rest of they school year.

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👤︎ u/FlumeHound9

📅︎ Aug 08 2019

🚨︎ report

Is this sub still active?

Nobody has posted anything all year!

👍︎ 10k

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👤︎ u/frillip

📅︎ Jan 01 2016

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Kids are so ambitious!

My son wants to be a doctor AND a police officer.

He said he wants to help cut down on ill eagle activity.

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/BSMike82

📅︎ Aug 26 2020

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My doctor told me I had to avoid intense activities due to my heart condition.

Now I have to quit my job at the circus and cancel my camping trip.

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👤︎ u/TheRockingDead

📅︎ Oct 26 2019

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I built myself a speech-activated car.

I also have a regular car, but that goes without saying.

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👤︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch

📅︎ Jun 16 2019

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EVA stands for Extra Vehicular Activity

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👤︎ u/pickle16

📅︎ Dec 15 2018

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Do you know what the most intense outdoor activity is?

Camping.

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/Subscribe_to_Sam24

📅︎ Aug 30 2019

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Is this sub still active?

There hasn’t been a post all year.

Happy New Years from Bangkok, Thailand!

👍︎ 36

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👤︎ u/thepobv

📅︎ Dec 31 2018

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Damn popular for all your summer fun activities!

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👤︎ u/22Redtailed22

📅︎ Dec 08 2018

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In the future...

In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" 😂🤣

👍︎ 16

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👤︎ u/Dan_the_Man0904

📅︎ Jul 15 2020

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What vegetable is the most climate active?

Green Peas

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👤︎ u/t-dv

📅︎ Jun 18 2019

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Is this sub still active?

There hasn't been any posts all year.

👍︎ 26k

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👤︎ u/Flamingturtle1

📅︎ Jan 01 2017

🚨︎ report

Is this sub still active?

There have been barely any posts all year.

👍︎ 204

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👤︎ u/JohnMickoTheSicko

📅︎ Jan 01 2019

🚨︎ report

Is this sub still active?

There haven't been any posts all year!

australia squad

👍︎ 57

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👤︎ u/ionedur

📅︎ Dec 31 2018

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Is this sub still active?

https://imgur.com/a/ggw9xpn

👍︎ 72

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👤︎ u/MohamedKebab

📅︎ Dec 31 2018

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Is this sub still active? There hasn't been a post all year

👍︎ 25

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👤︎ u/thelukecameron

📅︎ Jan 01 2019

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Is this sub still active?

There haven’t been any posts all year.

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/TheMiniDuck

📅︎ Jan 01 2019

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