If electricity always follows the path of least resistance,

Why doesn't lighting always strike in France?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanakiin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Resistance is futile.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a personal trainer and him and I do a lot of resistance training

He tells me to lift something and I say no

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DwelveDeeper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man in the resistance army?

Rhoman

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I can picture the powers of the future, stronger than ever, and the resistance fighting desperately against them for freedom...

Before every battle, the resistors meditate saying, "ohm..."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The resistance is now!
πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_General117
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
FEEL THE RESISTANCE!
πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-gem-524
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
🚨︎ report
What does a current chant when met with resistance?

Ohmmmmm.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cockplops
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I heard that resistance was futile...

... and I was like, "Ohm my god!"

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMCToga
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2014
🚨︎ report
A Resistance Band

Mom: I want to start working out with a resistance band.

Dad: A resistance band? Is that like Rage Against the Machine?

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ostyghosty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Air resistance

In physics class when my teacher brings up air resistance

Me: "do we need to talk about this subject? It's SUCH a drag."

Class: GROOOOOAAAAN

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/edogman9955
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2015
🚨︎ report
What a brand name. Could not resist.
πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SUP3RNAT2RAL
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments.

That has left scientists scratching their heads.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I couldn't resist the sexy TV remote

It was an instant turn on

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bsISS1243
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
I think joule really likes this joke
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HenkBlok
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dinosaur who is easy to clean, heat resistant and long lasting?

py-rex

I'll get my coat...

πŸ‘︎ 442
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/byte_marx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Can't resist, the pan is searing hot.
πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Invalleria
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Impossible to resist
πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StillPatience
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't Gavin resist eating the candy?

Because he Gavin!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Springbonnie1893
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My son kept chewing on all the electrical chords we had set up for the holidays, so I grounded him...

He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly...

πŸ‘︎ 114
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
What does the electrician say when he meditates?

Oooohm

πŸ‘︎ 392
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/w0zzie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Shocking meme!
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Party-Pupper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Not a dad, but I have a good one

kid: RERErRErerErRerererererEreRerrerereRrErrrErEre!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?
Dad: Calm down! My ears hertz!!!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_Werew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
I just couldn’t resist!!
πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Short-Republic
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Couldn’t resist

Friend texts me: Can you leave a key fir me under the mat? Me: Maple I will, Maple I won’t. Friend: ? Me: Pine, I’ll leave a key Friend: oh, my typo, haha Me: I’ve got a bunch more Buckeye will wait til later to tell you.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PR2NP
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I caught my son chewing on electrical cords.

So I had to ground him. He’s doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My friends wife says she can't resist me.

I guess that makes me an ohm wrecker

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Londonforce
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Anybody else find it hard to resist saying β€œfish dicks” when cooking your kids fish sticks?

Or is it just me...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/doravec88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Right after being born, my newborn daughter wouldn't "latch" for her first feeding. So after 27-plus hours of labor and four hours of pushing, I looked at my poor, exhausted wife and said, "Looks like she's... resisting abreast."

My first official dad joke.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! I’ll be putting this in my little one’s Reddit Scholarship Fund!

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gaudiocomplex
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
If a kid says they don't to sleep...

Does this mean they are guilty of resisting a rest?

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlamingNinja925
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
If something were heat resistant...

Would you say it's heat proof, to a certain degree?

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ssgtspoon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
So the police locked up a toddler the other day

Turns out he was resisting a rest

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bowlingForRamen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My son kept chewing on electrical cords so I had to ground him..

He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/champion-13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A very resistant spider.
πŸ‘︎ 193
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ksloop
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 154
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ioannis_03
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.

It was the pizza de resistance.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaelTadh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Couldn't resist posting it.
πŸ‘︎ 382
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Any engineers here? My trans sister is one.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mak_101
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, does that mean they're guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 116
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CarsonLarson
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
When my son refused to take a nap, the police got involved!

Understandable, since he was resisting a rest!

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
If a child is refusing to go to bed

Are they resisting a rest?

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist
πŸ‘︎ 238
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/d00d_wtf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
They jailed the insomniac again...

He was resisting a rest

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/linkhandford
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Here is a song dedicated to all them dads such inside resisting their wild side.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phildog2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t ants get COVID?

Because they have ant bodies.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dangergurl666
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Medusa Ale, I couldn't resist.
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectDelta18
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My best friend’s dad posted this. Couldn’t resist.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anklefat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
With great power comes...

...a lot of work over a short time.

Probably not Watt you expected, right? I currently currently feel a little resistance to this joke.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_goldn_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw this restaurant today and couldn’t resist
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sBroz410
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments

That has left scientists scratching their heads

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A new strain of lice is going around that is resistant to conventional treatments.

That has left scientists scratching their heads.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments

It has left scientists scratching their heads.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/korpsart
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report

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