I bought my kids Avengers action figures for Christmas so I don’t have to sit and build.

They were already assembled.

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaulFromTheParty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Here we see two birds of prey in full action

Or nuns as they are more commonly clawed

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzatron574
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What do action heroes do when they die?

They drop kick the bucket.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burpmeister
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend got me an action figure of a birdman with an abacus for Christmas

I didn’t really want it but it’s the Thoth that counts

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Hugh Jackman is making a live action Frosty movie where he joins the circus!

It’s called The Greatest Snowman.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whaddayagondo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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I finally see why people don’t like the live action DC films!

Because they don’t do the heroes justice

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xulphyr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make Dracula action figures.

I have to make every second Count.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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I watched a film about a goverment loan. There was a lot of action.

It was a bond movie

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hornyonion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve started turning puns into homemade action figures.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JMilesM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Take responsibility for your actions.
πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KyserSoze94
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Action figures without the Little Green Army Man footplate:

I can't stand them.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/errsta
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
In the Disney animated picture, Ratatouille, Remy controls Linguini actions by pulling his hair, giving him a perfect palette. The little chef’s squeak is the only other voice Linguini ever really hears at home.

I guess you could say Remy is Linguini’s voice of season

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Hollywood is going to make an action movie about the great composers.

Sylvester Stallone said "I'll be Beethoven".

Bruce Willis said "I'll be Mozart".

Arnold Schwarzenegger said "I'll be Bach".

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened to the pilgrims who were involved in a class action lawsuit.

They reached a settlement.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greatreference
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Action Movie

Have you heard about the Bollywood action movie about a baker? Critics say it's naan stop action.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalebWilliamson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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You know, we probably could have stopped Coronavirus if we took action last year...

Oh well. You know what they say, hindsight is 2020!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hangmandelta
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.

He sometimes wishes he’d never been Bourne.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Hey kids! Get in here! We're playing Quake with a bunch of cows, and then watching a Disney live action remake about a legendary female warrior!

It's our Moo-LAN party!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t people take action against global warming?

Some people just want to watch the world burn

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punk_loki
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the shop assistant where the Terminator action figures were.

She said "Aisle B, back".

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coroner’s office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth.

. Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said,

β€œNobody puts baby in a coroner”

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.

I just dodged a bullet.

πŸ‘︎ 199
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked me for a recommendation for a good book. I told her I had the perfect book in my collection for her to read. It has drama, romance, betrayal, excitement, action, love, loss, heroes, villians, mystery and puzzles. Pretty much everything really. Excitedly she asked me for it.

I handed her the dictionary.

πŸ‘︎ 471
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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Do you think Bruce Willis will always make action movies?

Because you know what they say about old habits. They...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Which musical instrument is most likely to take legal action against the others?

The sue-saphone

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doug_The_Plug
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Action movies are just like camping

They can both get really in-tents

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awkwardnsad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I was key grip on a film set once, when the guy who yells "action" tripped on a cable and sliced himself open...

It was the director's cut.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I heard Netflix is making a live action 'My Hero Acedemia' with Matthew Mcconaughey...

Hes going to star as All Might, All Might, All Might.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Help! I can’t stop collecting Wonder Woman action figures!

I’m a heroine addict.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Pelvis wants a little less conversation and a little more action please
πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/murdo316
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Said something motivational before this and I sprung into action.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacotimothyp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m so lazy, if I were an action figure,

The action would be sold separately.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
When you are watching a cop movie and want to go right to the action scene

I'm gonna cut right to the chase

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/X-Drakken
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an average potato who tells you the play-by-play action in sports?

Commentator.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Octopusapult
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I was reading a piece of fan fiction about a girl so beautiful, all the heroes wanted to make her their wife, yet so powerful, no villain dared fighting her. They rather sought legal action against her.

Had to lay it down, I can't stand these marry/sue charakters.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clotting_Agent
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
There's a new action video game where you build whole digital worlds but there's no sound.

Its called Mimecraft

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
In the new live action Aladdin movie the villain is getting a chubby sidekick.

They’ll be called Jafar and Wide.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/markydsade
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
PMSing is an ovary action
πŸ‘︎ 106
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sellyourcomputer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2016
🚨︎ report
My brother and I make Dracula action figures for a living, and we are on a really tight deadline.

I have to make every second Count.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make a bunch of Dracula action figures.

I have to make every second Count.

πŸ‘︎ 440
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make Dracula action figures.

I have to make every second Count.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.

He wishes he was never Bourne.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies, because you know what they say about old habits...
πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/auroraborora
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report

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