No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if I play an instrument, I say...
“I play a little guitar!"
Why it’s hard to teach Aussie’s how to play chess?
Because they think every check is check mate
Why can't shellfish play video games?
They can't gain the mussel memory
I once watched a couple of cows smoke weed and play poker
I guess the steaks were pretty high
How does Moses play games?
Do French people play video games?
What game console do the French play the most?
Why did the drummer play with vegetables?
He needed some fresh beets . . .
how does ABC play music?
They use CD
(told by my daughter who has vaguely seen me use a CD before)
Why is it so hard for T. Rex to play the piano?
I was watching my son play a Zelda game and I told him it's more effective to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons. He looked at me all confused and asked why? I told him it's because...
that way you won't take any fall damage.
What game do chickens play in the pool?
My friends won't let me play football with them after I suffered a charley-horse
They said I cramp their style
Why can't you play chess in the jungle
Because there are too many cheetahs
Don’t play pranks on your coworkers.
It’s a silly habit—tricks are for kids!
“Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?”
“Yes, of course…”
“Great! I never could before!”
My kids wanted me to play monster
So I told them I gambled away their college fund and slept with their aunt
I used to play the triangle in a Reggae band but I left though
It was just one ting after another.
I workout at a facility that only plays The Doors.
I call it the Gym Morrison.
Earlier my friend used to play Badminton but then he got some training. Now he plays Goodminton.
What is something a Christian kid plays?
Why do old people constantly play golf?
So they can lower their amount of strokes
A play by Shaquille O’Neal helped physicists discover a new phenomenon
What do you call a group of whales play instruments?
If you're into gaming history, then you must play on the classic consoles,
Trying to play the new official Rick Astley boardgame.
But the instructions just say ‘You know the rules, and so do I”
Why shouldn’t you play poker with a plumber?
A good flush will beat a full house every time.
What instrument do fishermen play?
I play Chess regularly with my friend, but last time he suddenly said " let's make this interesting "...
..so we stopped and went home.
Where do shortened versions of movies go to play with each other?
My wife said, “Why don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?”
I said, “That’s.....a novel idea.”
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
They don’t have any organs.
Lily's fatal Greek mythology school play.
Lily liked Greek mythology a lot. Her favorite character was the titaness Rhea. She loved the story about her outsmarting Cronus with a stone in order to get her children back. She loved it so much in fact, that for the sake or realism, she decided to eat some rocks too for the upcoming school play she took part in! But, very soon after going onto the stage, poor Lily started convulsing on the floor. It was a poor decision to eat the stones. She knew that. But at least, she could die a Rhea.
.
.
.
I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me.
I was surprised that the only gift I got for my birthday was a bucket of Play-Doh.
I don’t know what to make of it.
Do you know what happens when you play a country record backwards?
Your truck comes back, your wife comes back, your dog comes back, your trailer isn’t flooded...
What do you call a big cat that doesn't play by the rules?
I was asked to play the triangle in our local symphony orchestra! But I quit because . . .
It was just one ting after another.
If Father Christmas played soccer, what position would he play ?
Best game to play on a huge boat?
What is the best kind of music to play before Christmas?
I heard they want to find a new actor to play Iron Man
Guess they'll need to cast someone.
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