What’s a pirate’s favorite tempo?

Allegro.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/musicnothing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
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The Seattle Symphony is playing Beethoven's 9th.

In the version they're doing, the bass section plays a bit at the start, then just sits there til the final part of the last movement. So, they decide to leave the concert and go out for drinks.

While at the bar down the street, they meet a European nobleman, and they become good friends. Unfortunately, the guy had been gorging himself on crappy bar food, and he quickly falls into a food coma.

One of the basses drunkenly checks his watch and says, "crap! We're not going to get back on stage in time!" As they're sprinting back, one of them says, "actually, I thought this would happen, so I tied some of the pages of the conductor's score together - that way, he'll have to slow the tempo way down with his right hand while undoes the knots with his left!"

And so they get back just in time to finish the Symphony, and the audience is none the wiser. The conductor, however, was furious.

After all, they'd left him at the bottom of the 9th, with the score tied, while the basses were loaded,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhantomImmortal
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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I think I'm turning into a dad and I'm only 17

My friend was helping me on a piece of music I was having trouble with. Him: "You're rushin'. " (rushin'=rushing=playing the music faster than the tempo) Me: "No, I'm Italian"

There were only two other people in the room. One of them looked at me like I had murdered their dog, and the other was on the floor for a solid two minutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superstudlyfruit
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2015
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Had a good one at choir practice

We were singing Handel's "Israel in Egypt." The last movement has the line "The horse and his rider" repeated several times. Towards the end of a measure, it slows down and often people miss it and sing it up tempo. Our choir director said "The last 'rider' isn't as fast as the others."

A guy from the back cracks "That'd be why he's in last place!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckedAsBored
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
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My father is a nature expert.

Me: Why do crickets all chirp at the same tempo? Dad: It's a gang thing.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2014
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