I was watching my son play a Zelda game and I told him it's more effective to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons. He looked at me all confused and asked why? I told him it's because...
that way you won't take any fall damage.
I workout at a facility that only plays The Doors.
I call it the Gym Morrison.
We live in Colorado and took my son outside today to play hide and seek for the first time. I pointed at the Rockies, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Under no circumstances can we allow them to play!" Confused, he ask why, so I explained, "Well, you see...
People often ask me how I can play golf so much and still be so bad at it
Which instrument do they play at the white house?
What do you call it when a teacher watches his class as they take a test and plays online poker at the same time?
why can’t you play games at the zoo?
because there are too many cheetahs.
What kinda music they play at the old folks home?
What did the dog say at the end of the play?
Nothing.. He just bowed and left.
What do you call someone who wears a black mask and is only kind of good at word play?
People play electronic music at night
Because “sun” upside down reads “uns”
I broke my hand last week, at the hospital thinking it was permanently damaged, I asked the Doctor if I’d be able to play guitar. He replied “Yes, after you’ve taken time to heal”
I was ecstatic, I’ve always wanted to know how to play.
What you get when you play the song "walk with me in hell" at double speed?
What do anti-vaxx kids play at the pool?
I just had two colleagues play "Bicycle Race" by Queen at the same time.
I told them it was nice to hear them working in tandem with each other.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
Who plays at a 45 cent concert?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What's an anti-vaxxer's favorite game to play at the pool with their kids?
I was at home writing a play the other day when Microsoft Office needed an update.
It said I needed to install a new copy of Word-- but when I did, the file type was no longer compatible. I actually had to copy and paste it from a window of the old Word to a window of the new Word.
You were probably expecting a pun in this story, but there isn't one-- just a little play on Words.
Who will join me in a bird pun exchange? TOUCAN Play at This Game
I bought my kids a bunch of Sharpies to play with, and my wife is mad at me.
It is weird though. She wakes up every day with a huge smile on her face.
I was carrying my ukulele in its case at school and my friend asked, "You play an instrument?"
I replied, "Yeah, I play a little guitar."
When they give out baseball gloves at the stadium, they play some pretty great tunes because...
...there's good rocking at Mitt Night.
Right before every tennis match I play, my dad, who is a professional tennis player, smiles at me from the top of the stairs.
I just have to look up to him, you know.
my dad surprised me with this clever play on words, took me a minute to get at the time
just got home from the first day of school (i was in debate class at school)--
dad: how was school?
me: it was good, but a few of my friends dropped debate class
dad: dropped debate? what are they, fishermen?
Found this little play-on-words in a science lab at school.
What do Italian children like to play at birthday parties?
Watching Switzerland play soccer at the moment.
I’m feeling kind of neutral.
Every time at the end of a song at band practice I play a note on the highest fret on my guitar.
They always ask me why I do that. I tell them, “We gotta end it on a high note”
Any guy who plays heavy metal at work…
What's the worst place to hide when you play hide-and-seek at the hospital?
Dad joke at play practice
At play rehearsal we were blocking out a scene, the director explained during this particular scene the lights on one portion of the stage would dim to highlight the two with solos. One cast member asked, "When the lights go dim on us, do we freeze?" one of the older fellows in the cast cut in, "No, we'll still have the heat on." Loved it.
Edit: play rehearsal
Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard George Michael will only play new songs at his concerts?
He found his lack of Faith disturbing
Punrelenting word play at the Rose Parade
New Year's Day... The start of a fresh 365 sunrises that symbolize a turning point in lifestyle and spending the entire day recovering from a dreadful hangover. Like many other people in America, this relatively fake holiday is a time that I spend with my family. One of my family's many traditions (alongside annihilating plates of buffalo wings and watching college football until we pass out on the couch) is watching the Rose Parade. At the very beginning of the event, before all of the flower-covered floats and high school bands came marching down the street, there was an introductory ceremony complete with a B-2 stealth bomber flyover. As soon as they passed by, zooming out of the camera's frame, my dad leans in closer to me and says "Well I sure didn't see that coming!"
My Dad came home from shopping and said he had bought a new exciting board game for the family to play at Christmas!
Why do the neighborhood signs warn me of the slow children at play?
Do I need to watch out because they are mentally slow? If they were just playing slowly, you would think they would see me coming and no sign would be needed.
At my office we have TVs that play the news all day
Walking past one of them I saw a headline that read: Delta employee charged with smuggling loaded guns onto passenger planes."
I pointed it out to a co-worker and said "Oh man, I hope he doesn't get bail. He's obviously a flight risk."
When hearing on the news that there would be Russian plays featuring many Tsars at the Olympics
my dad said, "wow, all Tsar cast."
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