My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
Why was the bullet a bad employee?
It only did its job after it was fired.
A joke I thought of in elementary school: what did the dragon say to the bad employee?
I had an employee at the hotel that ironed the bed sheets. I noticed that as the days wore on, the number of sheets ironed was going down.
Her job performance was de-creasing.
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog, bends down as if to pet it, then picks it up by the tail and begins spinning it over his head. It created quite the ruckus, so an employee ran over and asked the man if he needed help.
"No thanks, just looking around."
I found this Arhaus employee tag yesterday... In the middle of the street
imgur.com/DZvBeYe
The scarecrow won employee of the month at work today
he was outstanding in the field
Damn girl, is your posterior an analogy for a disgruntled employee that refuses to leave the premises after being asked to voluntarily terminate?
Because your ass just won't quit.
EDIT: you clicked knowing what the punchline was going to be... so that's on you.
So I was out at the museum with my daughter today and got the ultimate dad joke in. Employee asks kids "Does anyone know the difference between a Crocodile and an Alligator?"
One will see you later and the other will see you in a while?
Daughter groaned, employee laughed, other dad's nodded approvingly.
Why didn't the angry customer want to hear what the employee had to say?
She wasn't Karen about any opinion but her own.
The Costco employee said "I'm sorry Sir, we're rationing.
[Looking over cart full of TP]
Me: "Nice to meet you Rationing, I'm Hoarding"
Why did the egg farmer have to fire his funniest employee?
He cracked too many yolks.
I was picking through the turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but I couldn't find one big enough for my family. I turned to the employee and asked, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
“No, sir," he replied. "They're dead.
McDonald’s employee: “sir, please get down from the table”
Me: NO! pouring fries all over the floor I asked for TWO LARGE FRIES and you gave me hundreds of little ones”
I went to the bookstore and asked an employee, “Do you have anything by Shakespeare?”
He said, “Of course. Which one?”
Me: “William.”
What did the McDonald’s customer say to the employee when they forgot pickles on his burger?
I don’t know how you guys can forget pickles, they are kinda a big dill.
Why did the Mexican Ford employee take Adderal?
So he could focus on his siesta.
What happened to the Frito-Lay employee whose coworker got unfairly promoted?
He ended up getting a chip on his shoulder
I always say the same thing when I hire a new employee.
Why did the balloon factory worker fire their employee?
Because he kept letting them down...
Did you hear about the sea world employee who was satisfied with her job?
She really served a porpoise.
What did the employee say to the man who was picking between sunglasses and prescription glasses.
Why did the farmer get the employee of the month award?
Because he was out-standing in his field!
What kind of cake did the Japanese employer give to her employee as gratitude for her work at her company?
What did the employee say to his boss when asked to remove his tattoos?
I can't, I'm too attached to them!
TIL A Ben and Jerry's employee fell into the chocolate coating vat last year
The company held a press conference to announce he's been completely covered.
An employee at the insane asylum caught a patient trying to escape...
Did you hear about the stadium employee that got caught stealing equipment?
I guess the "Batman" was "Robin."
Did you hear about the morgue employee who got cremated?
He fell asleep on the clock and got fired.
Why did the employee quit his job at the sandpaper factory?
My employee got me good the other day.
I am a manager at a place that sells frozen treats. At work one day a team member was knocking frozen fruit in to a box, he had to hit it pretty hard to get it out. So I told him "show that fruit who's boss" after this stopped leaned in to the fruit to say "hey fruit" then pointed at me "thats the boss". Quite a proud moment for me.
The grocery store employee was not amused.
I was at a warehouse store yesterday and turned down an aisle to see two employees standing over a spilled gallon of pancake syrup.
"Boy, that looks like a sticky situation"
Neither employee laughed.
The Home Depot employee and I had a good laugh girlfriend did not.
We are re-staining the banister in our house to match our new floors. So my girlfriend asked what the process is. The employee starts going on how we need to first use stripper to remove the paint. My girlfriend asked how much are strippers. I quickly responded well it depends on how nice, what time of day and where you go to get your stripper. Everyone had a good laugh my girlfriend was not amused.
Got the new employee at the Doctor's Office
Her: You can't teach an old dog new tricks
Me: Good thing you're not a dog
My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch, it might be me.
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
My boss said he'd fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
My boss said he is going to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
Why did the scarecrow got the employee of the month?
Because he was outstanding in his field
Why did the scarecrow get employee of the month?
Because he was outstanding in his field
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
