I have a hunch it might be me.
He committed shoeicide.
It was grounds for dismissal!
FedUp
She was told to give them all one test tickle
Doc: Sounds like tacocardia.
Because he was selling Coke.
Btw this is my first post on Reddit :)
Apparently they are all subcontractors
Boss: "Its may." Employee: "Sorry, may I have a week off around christmas?"
this salad pun.
Air-vrything.
I'm so proud.
Nachos.
My dad said “we don’t have Time for that, we’re gonna leave any Second now, so Hand it back to the lady and head back to Hour car”
Jarrrrrrrrrrrrs
FedEx
At the end of the class, his teacher returned the loaf and told him that he had gotten an A.
The student said: “Thanks, that’s just what I kneaded.”
My goals are clear
Having a small party for my guitar and music obsessed soon-to-be 3 year old. Wanted to put some signs next to the food to make it more on-theme. We’ll be serving:
Chicken nuggets PB&Js (in the shape of guitars) Veggie tray Fruit tray Water & juice
I’m struggling to think of stuff. So far I only have Nirvana Nuggets (which I realize isn’t even a pun) and PB&J Richie Samboraches. Lame, I know 😂 Help me out if you can think of any more!
taste buds
I need a Plan B.
Because of this, they were planning to strike. Upper management were able to make a deal with a day to spare. Some still weren’t happy. Only 7-10 split from the place.
To me, it's a naan starter....
Who buys gummy worms hoping they’d taste as close to real worms as possible?
Because they are afraid of them striking
An Astro-not.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Pho Nix.
Stake n shake!
(I'm not sure if this is a regional restaurant but I assure you it exists.)
Iceberg lettuce.
He sold himself shorts.
The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.
Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.
The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:
"What's sarong with that?"
I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).
His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.
--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)
--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.
Because good help is hard to find.
Because they were staph
I caught him masticating
FRYday
My kids meal didn't include any kids.
I work at a bar The theme is hammers. Give me your best dishes/names/puns. Go!
