What’s the stock trader’s favourite band?

Green Day

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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Ivory traders, nobody likes you.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nodnodwinkwink
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2017
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The Trader Joe's Marketing Dept is setting the bar high. They really are top shelf, and the food's not bad either. imgur.com/iZqfimZ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/athei-nerd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
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Unexpected at Trader Joe’s v.redd.it/2s140ynhj6901
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dbgross01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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Trader Joe's bringing it home i.reddituploads.com/ee7fd…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyFuton
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2016
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When a stock trader starts talking about buying "blue chips" and "dip" this is what comes to mind.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/logicson
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2017
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The stock trader was able to afford his new landscaping...

...after making so much money in his hedge fund.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbbbirdistheword
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2014
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Trader Joe's doin it right
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scottsimsa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2013
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They have brandy filled chocolates at Trader Joe's.

I brought a box of brandy chocolates to my parents' Christmas party. My dad patted me on the back and said, "Brandy? You're a fine girl."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/squeakybucket
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2014
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Happy Holidays!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickeyslim
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18
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I am a shoe repairer...

Does that class me as a sole trader?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
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I met a guy who sold shoe parts; I asked if he had a big team.

"No" he replied, "I'm a sole trader".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KikkoAndMoonman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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I recently put my cat on a vegan diet...

...she eats around two or three people a day. Im going to have to look for a new Trader Joe's in my area.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/0blivionSoul
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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A guacamole is 6.0221414x10^23 guacas.

This is also known as... Avocado's Number.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porkchop_d_clown
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
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Why did the merchant backstabbed you?

Because he is a trader.

(Makes more sense when spoken)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marv1236
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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What do you call a man who sells shoes on his own?

A sole trader

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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Haunted liquor store

So my fiancΓ©e and I were at Trader Joe’s, and there was a window you could see through into their liquor store. I turned to her while we were in line to check out and said:

Me: β€œI’m pretty sure that store is haunted.” FiancΓ©e: β€œWhat makes you say that?” M: β€œTheir sign says they have Spirits.β€œ

She let out the biggest groan of disgust while I teared up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/G1ZMO5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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Got my friend good yesterday

She was talking about having guacamole for the super bowl and we were talking about going to trader joe's.

Me: Trader Joe's has some pretty good guac that we could pick up.

Her: No way, I make my own. I'm in search of perfection.

Me: So you not only talk the talk, you also guac the guac?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drakeonaplane
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2016
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Why dont you ever hire merchants?

Cause they're always traders

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Covert778
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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Unplanned dadjoke from heavy-set, African-American man.

My XL-wearing half-black friend and I were in Trader Joe's when I started being excited about this huge pound block of chocolate.

When I asked him why he wasn't excited, he replied, "I guess I'm just not a big chocolate guy."

I laughed for about an hour at his complete genius.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zacsxe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2014
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When I told my Dad I quit teaching to work in finance

He asked

"Will that make you a traitor or a trader?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dsherwoodmathman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2017
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Dad got my sister just now.

Dad: "So we finally put the BMW up on AutoTrader."

Sis: "Oh, wow. What'd you put it up for?"

Dad: "Well, we were thinking about selling it."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/m4cktheknife
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2017
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My college professor today

Prof "When you step into a Trader Joe's how do you know it's not a Frys?" Stu: "the atmosphere" Prof: "and if they opened a trader Joe's on the moon they wouldn't have that atmosphere"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carnanian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2017
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The Stock Market Movement

So there's two day traders looking at the commodity stocks for office supplies on their computer. "What's the movement on desks and chairs?" asks the first stockbroker.

"Um, that's moving up," says the second. "We should get into it."

"Okay what about stocks for desktop computers? Are they moving?" says the first.

"Yep, they're dropping," says the second. "We've got to sell that off."

"Okay what about paper? Is that moving?" says the first.

"Paper? No," says the second. "Paper is stationery."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StreetfighterXD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2013
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Punchline: Lickitey-split

I remember my Dad's friend telling me an inappropriate Lesbian joke where the punchline is lickitey-split. Can't remember the beginning though. He also told me the joke: What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dostoevshmee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2015
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