I would tell you a traffic pun but it would drive you crazy.
What the police officer said to the Antiperspirant after the traffic stop?
My pregnant neighbor was really nervous when the woman who was to assist her in labor was stuck in traffic.
She was having a midwife crisis.
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look, I’m about to change
Let’s just ignore the fact that would cause mass traffic
My wife and I were stuck in traffic, and I said, “I’m turning round”.
She said, “Stop eating so many burgers then”.
A Police Officer pulls over a Miner at a Traffic Stop
Officer: "Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?
Miner: "Mine."
My wrists are killing me from driving my coworkers everyday through tunnels and traffic.
Dr. Says I have a bad case of car pool tunnel.
I got in a car accident with a snow man and wanted to warn oncoming traffic
So I put out some snow cones.
The sporting goods store downtown was having a big sale on canoe paddles, but traffic and road construction made it real pain to get there...
...yeah, it was quite the ordeal to get the oar deal.
What did the air traffic controller say to the angry pilot?
How do you make a traffic jam?
I've just seen a traffic accident in town, a police car crashed into a fire engine.
I was going to call for an ambulance, but that might've been asking for trouble.
LA traffic is reminding me why it's called the 405
Because anywhere you go, it takes 4 or 5 hours
What does a crow with a jersey accent say to the man about to step into traffic?
I saw Kevin Hart stop at a traffic light yesterday...
Why did the traffic light go red?
Because it saw a pretty car.
After the pilot had a sudden heart attack, an air traffic controller had to coach a passenger in landing a cargo jet full of various cuts of select Kobe beef
The steaks had never been higher
I don’t understand why people like traffic jams so much.
They always line up for it.
I was sitting in traffic the other day...
That's probably why I got ran over
Hate getting stuck in a traffic jam...
Boy, this traffic is ruff
Why did the guitar player have to give up playing after the traffic accident?
What do you call a depressed traffic jam?
Why do traffic lights turn red?
You'd turn red too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
They took down the traffic lights in my town
They sure have a roundabout way of doing things.
🤦🏻♂️
A typist was involved in a traffic accident
White-out conditions blamed.
Isn't all marine traffic 'current'?
Today I drove to work and because of the chaotic traffic I ran my car into another man's. As he got out of the car I saw he was a gentleman of the smaller persuasion, a dwarf. He said "I'm not happy."
I asked "Which one are you then?"
A traffic cop went to the trouble of leaving a note under the wipers to let me know I'd positioned my car correctly.
It said "Parking fine". So that was nice.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
Traffic was great today...
After years of using dial up, I finally upgraded to high speed internet. I didn't realize the internet traffic!
But I was able to e-merge.
I jaywalked on the way to work this morning. A traffic cop stopped me and handed me a whale.
He said he was "giving me a cetacean for not crossing at the light."
Saw this in traffic, and was told to post here too.
I present the traffic signs of Ohio
What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?
"Don't look I'm changing!"
My wife and I were stuck in traffic. I said, “I’m turning round.”
She said, “I know. Stop eating bacon.”
What did the traffic light say to the car?
“Don’t look, I’m about to change!”
What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?
"Don't look I'm changing!"
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look, I’m changing!
What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?
"Don't look I'm changing!"
I was sitting in traffic the other day
Probably why I got run over
What did one traffic light say to the other?
What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?
"Don't look I'm changing!"
Why did the traffic light turn red?
It was embarrassed to change in the street!
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
