Which state has the most streets?

Rhode Island.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
Two psychics run into each other on the street.

One says to the other β€œyou’re doing fine but how am I?”

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tugboattt
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
What is cold and stands under a street lamp?
  • A frostitute.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theredditman111
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Metallica has never been on Sesame Street.

Master of Puppets my ass...

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZackyGood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
Here’s a magic joke for you: A magician was driving down a street.

Then he turned into a driveway.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fadedmaroon
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
I was feeling a little depressed, and then I saw a clown doing sit-ups across the street.

Funny how things work out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
My street light fixing business closed two months after it opened because it was not profitable

Too much overhead

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cloud9ineteen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
🚨︎ report
This should be on a New Street.
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
There’s a guy selling prosthetic limbs on my street.

He’s an arms dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
What did the man say to the rabid dog in the street?

stray away

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hitman07435
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
Two fortune tellers meet on the street.

One says to the other, β€œYou’re fine, how am I?”

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
I got stopped in the street by a lady conducting a survey.

"What do you know about dwarfs?" She asked.

"Very little." I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
A hearse is driving up a very steep street

A hearse is driving up a very steep street and once it gets near the top, the back door opens up and the coffin comes shooting out of the hearse and rolls down the street.

People are diving out of the way, cars are swerving, it’s chaos! By the time it reaches the bottom of the hill it has picked up a lot of speed and crashes into a wall surrounded by people.

The door pops open, the body sits up and says β€œDo you have anything to stop this coughin?”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/countryroads8484
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
I saw my dentist walking down the street the other day...

He was shaking his head and looking at his watch. He said I'm overdue for an appointment and that he has an opening today. I asked what time can I come in? He smugly replied "tooth hurty".

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yogisogoth
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
now i understand why i hate The Wolf of Wall Street movie

they don’t make cents

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nxxwan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
Three tomatoes are walking down a street: papa tomato, mama tomato, and baby tomato. The baby tomato starts lagging behind and papa tomato gets really angry, goes back and squishes him. He says...

Ketchup!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/User1N23456
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
Two peanuts were walking down the street.

one was a salted.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BuTTerXD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
As we turned down the street I told my kids to bring batteries.

I then pointed to the β€œno outlet” sign.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bp1108
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
The other day I was walking down the street and I commented that I like someone’s spunky shoes. 10 minutes later I passed her again and she gave me a $5 bill she found on the ground.

That’s karma in real life

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/superto3
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
A Scotsman stumbles out of the bar and as he is walking down the street, he walks past a girl.

The girl asks, β€œis it true that there’s nothing under that kilt of yours?” The Scotsman replies, β€œwhy don’t you reach under and see for yourself?” The girl reaches under his kilt and quickly removes her hand. β€œDear god, that’s gruesome!”

The Scotsman replied back β€œAye, and if you reach up under there again, you’ll see it’s gruesome more.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jetmover78
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
I had been lost in Las Vegas for days, wandering the streets. Up ahead, I thought I saw my hotel...

But it was a Mirage...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, I changed a light bulb, crossed the street and walked into a bar

My life is a joke

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
I found this Arhaus employee tag yesterday... In the middle of the street imgur.com/DZvBeYe
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trigunnerd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
Yelled down the street to my daughter while she was walking my FIL's little chihuahua: "Hey did you get that dog on sale??"

It certainly looks like you got it half off!!

I could hear the groan all the way up the street..success!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Malbert215
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are standing, watching a street performer do some juggling.

The performer notices they have a rather poor view, so stands on a large box, asking 'Can you see me better now?' They reply:

'Yes' 'Oui' 'Si' 'Ja'

πŸ‘︎ 341
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LilGingeyboi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A policeman stopped me in my car and said β€œExcuse me sir. Do you know this is a one way street?”

β€œYes officer, I’m only going one way”. I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
There is a lady who lives down the street from me who only eats plants.

You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PrimalMusk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
There was this shop in my hometown located where two streets met, they sold things like embalming tools and other specialty tools for working on dead bodies. This store was also known as....

The Coroner Store

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnJukes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
I was walking down the street and ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.

It’s a small world.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
I couldn’t bring myself to cross the street

It never did anything to me

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wedge001
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
What do you call an alligator that works on Wall Street?

An Investigator.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IQSucks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
Since the government's instituted shelter-in-place orders, lions have been roaming main street...

It's a Pride Parade.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
I walked down my old street where the houses were numbered 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k and 1MB.

It was a trip down memory lane.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CTXCI
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
So I saw a group of people crossing the street tonight carrying ski stuff the one guy in the front of the group was tasked with carrying the ski poles...

So I guess you can say that they put him in pole position

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Loam_Lion
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Three tomatoes walk down the street

Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato are walking down the street. Baby Tomato starts lagging behind and Papa Tomato gets really angry. So he goes back and squishes him and goes 'catch up'

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ashur305
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
Someone crossed the street in front of a police car.

Obstruction of justice!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NewSwaraelia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
Two peanuts were walking down the street

One was a 'salted'

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyber_SpacePirate
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
Today, I crossed the street, changed a light bulb, and walked into a bar.

My life is a joke.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Ya know, I saw superhero on the street once, he was in line for a hotdog, read this guys mind and saw that his head was in the clouds, and he just pushed in front of him!

If you ask me, that was pretty telepathetic of him.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NukulerNicky
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
I went to see the famous "Iron Swordsmen of Venice" perform their street theatre.

But when I got there, the streets were empty with only a small sign saying that there would be no show today because it was the Ferrous Duelers' Day Off.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CyclopsRock
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
I recently walked down a street with the houses were numbered 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k, 1mb etc

That was a trip down memory lane

πŸ‘︎ 154
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrNakamura
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
If you ever go to Moscow you will notice there is always a sense if urgency on the streets

Because everyone there is Russian.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pockets-sandy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
2 peanuts were walking down the street.

one was a salted.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SteamedPunch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
Two pretzels were walking down the street...

One got assaulted.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Passerby49
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A yearly tradition, my family gets together and everyone rides in a wagon thru the city, saying "hello" to all people on the street...

It's our hey-ride.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Good street food.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/makethegreen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cactus that lives on Sesame Street?

Prickle me Elmo

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/duckparrot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Two peanuts were standing on street corner

1 was assaulted

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Immola0069
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
Wife asked, "Where is Sampson Street."

"Probably crossed by Delilah."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peternemr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
Two electrons are walking down the street

The first one stops and says 'Oh, no! I think i've lost an electron!" The second one says 'are you sure?' The first one says 'Yeah, I'm positive'

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Big shout out to all the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets!
πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mark30322
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Charles Darwin always chooses the purple choc from the quality street tin.

It's a natural selection.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A crow flies up to a woman on the street.

Crow: Miss, would you donate to my charity?

Woman: Why should I?

Crow: CAW CAW CAW CAW

Woman: What does that even mean?

Crow: Its four a good caws

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw the police chasing a guy down the street, who'd just stolen an inexpensive board game......

It was a real trivial pursuit

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I was walking down the street, and a man threw cheese, milk, and ice cream at me.

How dairy.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GayBookBoy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Street Fighter fan art.
πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CallMeVexed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a pirate walking down the street with a ship wheel stuffed in his pants. I said..."Hey, pirate...is that a ship wheel in your pants?" He said...

aye, matey it's driving me nuts!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theposshow
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Two atoms are walking down the street

Atom 1: Stop! I just lost an electron!

Atom 2: Are you sure?

Atom 1: Yeah. I'm positive.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/finestjuggler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
As I was walking down the street, an old man came up to me and explained all the benefits of dining on meals with mint derived from sub-shrub herbs...

I thanked him for the sage advice but went on about my business.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Just seen 2 old ladies get flashed by some man while they were walking down the street.....

One of the ladies had a stroke......

the other couldn't reach.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A-Curious-Frog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
The panda bears rioted in the streets of Beijing today.

It was pandamonium!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Cable repairman was on my street and asked what time it was.

I told him it’s between 8am and 1pm

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weiderman316
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, β€œYou know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”

He said, β€œI hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a horse who lives across the street from you?

A neigh-bor

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pappajay2001
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Shout-out to sidewalks for keeping us off the streets
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rg_the_beast
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I was walking down the street when I ran into the man who sold me an antique globe a long time ago.

It’s a small world.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Even street signs have punny humor
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonathan392
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I was walking down the street one day and someone threw a jug of milk at me.

How dairy.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pretttc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
You'll get this if you're Street Smart
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
We were walking down the street, when a group of black metal musicians approached us.

My friend turned to me and quipped, "Oh oh! Here comes treble!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Think twice before you cross that street

I heard it's really well-connected in this city

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hank_the_Hand
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What noise does a bird make when it's sitting on a street?

Stweet stweet.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Which state has the most streets per square mile?

It's Rhode Island.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Me and my friend Jack were walking down the street.

He stopped and pointed to something on the ground, "What's that?" He asked. I replied, "That's a cracker, Jack."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yelDragon8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Thousands of people were fighting in the streets

The news said it was a sad situation.

I thought it was a riot.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/googonite
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Found a wallet in the street and asked myself what would Jesus do

I turned it into wine

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alvaro_10
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was walking down the street, I ran into a celebrity with a Mohawk and jewelry. He looked at me and said, β€œI piy the fool!”

I said, β€œHey, you missed a T.”

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What a strange morning. First I find a hat full of money in the street and then I get chased by an angry guy with a guitar!
πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CormacN
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My barber across the street recently got arrested for selling drugs. I was his customer for years,

I didn't even know he was a barber!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wo1fx
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
You only ever see ice cream trucks turned over on desserted streets.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bob-log_cat-log
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I didn't know I'd turned down the wrong street in Mexico...

Til I got pulled over for wrong direction on a Juan way street.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I saw some dudes in a line in the Street. I couldn't see what they were queueing for, so I got in line. When I got in front, some buff guy punched me in the face.

And I gotta say, this punchline I got into really surprised me.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewIsCoolio
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I was driving down the street with my family till I saw a sign outside a pizza parlor that said "Wood Fired Pizza"

How's Pizza gonna get a job now?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rhino2115
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
It has been a bit of a strange day today... First of all I found a hat full of money in our local High Street,

then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the amphibian run across the street?

He was about to get toad.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cascadiablooms
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Two peanuts were walking down the street.

One was a salted.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_improviser
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
Which state has the most streets?

Rhode Island

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mutedbassman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
Two peanuts were walking down the street

One was a "salted"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Artreii
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
Two peanuts were walking down the street...

One was a salted.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OverKast78
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
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Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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Two pretzels are walking down the street

One was assaulted

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickant81
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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I found a wallet in the street and asked myself what would jesus do

I turned it into wine

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alvaro_10
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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