Last light I seen a drunk couple weaving all over the street
I thought ‘honestly, get a loom’.
I grew up on a street with a lot of friction
You could call it a rough neighborhood
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing street names right off the posts.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?
Why did the tree cross the street?
They were opening a new branch on the other side
A guy on my street holds the world record for most concussions
He only lives a stone's throw away
A cable repairman was on our street today and asked what time it is.
I told him it's between 8am and 1pm.
A man was walking g down the street...
When out of nowhere, he gets hit by a car and flipped over. A woman came running over as he was lying on the sidewalk, takes off her jacket and slides it u der his head.
"Are you comfortable?" The woman asked
"Meh, I make a living." He replied.
We need to be very careful about collapsing Wall Street so we don’t get crushed by Roof Street
Posted on shower thoughts first, they told me to bring it here. I should have thought of that first. Anyways here ya go.
I owe a lot to the sidewalks. They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years.
I walked down a street where the houses were numbered, 64k, 128k,256k, 512k and 1MB.
That was a trip down memory lane.
What did Homer Simpson say when he hit a deer in the street?
A guy sees a pirate walking down the street with a steering wheel in his pants...
He yells, hey! Hey, pirate! There's a steering wheel in your pants! Pirate says, Aarr, I know! It's driving me nuts!
What’s a microscopic dead end street?
My street sign from a previous address:
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog shit on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one:
A man is walking down the street when he looks into an alley and sees 2 sharks standing up.
One shark hands the other one a small packet full of some suspicious white powder.
"That's some fishy business" the man remarks.
A sinkhole just opened up in our high Street.
The police are looking into it.
My mom always told me to watch before i cross the street...
Why did she always want me to check the time?
What noise does a street sweeper make?
I found myself bereft at the chaos that run through the winding streets of China town. The horror
An American, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German man are all watching a street performer
The street performer notices the four men are very far to the back and cannot see, so he stands on a box and continues his performance while asking, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Si."
"Ja."
A magician was driving down the street
and then he turned into a driveway.
What sound do drag racing street sweepers make?
I saw a man on my street today stealing a gate
I didn't say anything in case he took a fence.
Be very careful out on the streets...
Because yesterday at around 7:30 pm a clown who was wearing a colourful sweatshirt, pulled out a pair of scissors and stared at me. Luckily I had enough agility and I pulled out a rock, because if I would have pulled out a paper, he would have won
Two butts are walking down the street and one farts
- "You took words right out of my mouth" says the other
Did you guys hear the one about the two peanuts walking down the street?
One of them was a salted.
I don’t understand why Blue Öyster Cult never appeared on Sesame Street.
They could have sung “I’m burning, I’m burning, I’m burning for ‘U’!”
There is a new drug on the streets called Jesus Christ...
Ya, most users are taking the Lord's name in vein.
I tried street tacos for the first time and man they were awful
They tasted like asphalt!
Why did the dish washer cross the street?
There was a fork in the road.
I have been working on the most illogical street performance act...
I just found out that Mercedes is donating state of the art street sweepers to some of the largest cities around the world to help fight littering.
They’re calling it Mercedes-clenz
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
What State Has The Most Streets?
I was walking down the street after leaving the pharmacy and noticed a casket was chasing me. Well all I had was a bottle off cough syrup so I threw it at the casket...
...and then the coffin stopped.
As I was walking down the street, I noted a man with a large pole in his hand and stopped to ask, "Are you a pole-vaulter?"
His response was, "No, I'm German, but how did you know my name was Walter?"
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all watching a street performer doing some amazing juggling
The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a poor few of the show. So, the juggler stands on a wooden box and asks, “Can you all see me now?”
“Yes”
“Oui”
“Si”
“Ja”
A dad meets his friend on the street. “Have you met my daughter Beth?” “No, what’s Beth short for?”
“I don’t know, most three year olds aren’t that tall.”
What do you call a random dog you see on the street?
Nothing, you make weird noises until it comes close enough for you to pet it
i turned left on the wrong street while driving...
too late i found the error of my waze.
For a temp job I had to conduct surveys on the street and often times people would reluctantly comply disclaiming to "Keep it short please!"
So my question was: What do you know about dwarves?
What’s a Wall Street farmer’s favorite thing to invest in?
I was walking down the street and suddenly ran into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
I walked down this street where the houses were numbered, 64K, 128K, 256K, and 1MB
That was a trip down memory lane.
A magician was driving down the street when BOOM!
He turned into a driveway.
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