A truck of Vicks vapor rub crashed on the highway...
Luckily there was no traffic congestion...
Humbly submitted,
Dad
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︎ Jan 16 2021
A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway...
Police advise citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!
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︎ Nov 22 2020
A group in Denmark is trying to convince the government to use old Legos to re-pave their highways...
...unfortunately, they've been running into a lot of road blocks.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Which lane on the highway is the fastest?
The one youβre not in!
( written by my dad , late 90s)
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︎ Dec 02 2020
I just got hired to work a booth on the highway.
They say this job really takes a toll
π︎ 11
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︎ Oct 12 2020
A truck overturned this morning spilling cabbage all over the highway.
It was horrific! I slaw it happen!
π︎ 13
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︎ Sep 11 2020
A truck ahead of me spilled its load of cabbage all over the highway...
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︎ Sep 06 2020
TIL about the big pile ups on the Cretaceous highway.
They were tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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︎ Sep 18 2020
What do you call tiny dead crustaceans on the highway?
Roadkrill.
(My eight-year-old came up with this one all on his own.)
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︎ Jul 06 2020
Cutting in front of a Volkswagen on the highway
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︎ Jul 29 2020
[On the highway] My wife: Hey, you missed a right!
Me: Thanks babe. You Mrs. Right!
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︎ May 29 2020
Two dogs were walking down an empty highway. One of them stopped and defecated in the middle of the road.
When he was finished, he looked at the other dog and said, βClean up that mess.β
The other dog sniffed the pile and said, βNope. Thatβs your asphalt!β
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︎ Aug 15 2020
Did you hear about the highway being built by the college in New Orleans?
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︎ Jun 22 2020
What did the metaphysical highway sign say to warn drivers about wintry driving conditions?
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︎ Jul 21 2020
They're guaranteed to help you ketchup on the highway
π︎ 20
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︎ Mar 08 2020
The police pulled up right next to me and my Yamaha on the shoulder of the highway todayβ¦
Apparently, itβs not the best place to play a keyboardβ¦
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︎ May 25 2020
I'm not sure why the highway was arrested ...
... but I bet it was his own dumb asphalt.
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︎ Feb 11 2020
A truck carrying Vicks vapor rub overturned on the highway.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 hours.
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︎ Mar 07 2020
I had a job clearing litter off the highways...
but I got laid off, even though the work was picking up.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 15 2020
A truck carrying toupees crashed on the highway, spilling everything.
Police are combing the area.
π︎ 155
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︎ May 10 2019
Why was musician's car parked on the side of a highway?
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 28 2020
A truck full of donkeys passed me on the highway
He was really hauling ass.
π︎ 87
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︎ Oct 21 2019
A truckload of doorframe parts spilled out on the highway during rush hour...
It caused a big traffic jamb.
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 29 2019
The guy who paints the center line down the highway came into my deli for a quick bite...
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 27 2020
When's the best age to tell a highway it's adopted?
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 29 2019
Did you hear about the truckload of pickles that overturned on the highway...
I dunno what the dill is... details are sketchy. I relish any comments with more info about this incident.
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︎ Nov 28 2019
Did you hear about the cheese truck that crashed on the highway?
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 27 2019
I was driving on the highway when I passed an AA van driver who was sobbing uncontrollably.
I thought, βThis guyβs heading for a breakdown.β
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 23 2019
How did the Targaryens get off the highway?
π︎ 13
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︎ Mar 07 2019
We were driving through Quebec when my wife commented on how cool it was that the highway signs were in two languages, English and French.
I said, "well, it's still all just written in sign language"
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 17 2019
My husband, toddler, and I are on a road trip. We turned on to the highway...
And directly facing the sun. I pulled down my visor down.
"Man," I said. "Just think, it's so bright in here I need to squint, even though the sun is 93 million miles away."
"What are you talking about?" my husband said. "He's right behind us."
groan
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︎ Sep 18 2016
An 18-wheeler filled with Vicks Vaporub overturned on the highway today.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours!
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︎ Apr 01 2019
I was kicked out of the karaoke bar for singing Highway To The Danger Zone 3 times in a row.
Too many Loggins attempts I guess.
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︎ Jun 18 2019
After all the final season backlash, how did D&D get off the Game of Thrones highway?
They took Daenerys exit..
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︎ Jun 20 2019
What do you call consistent bad luck on the highway?
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︎ Apr 16 2019
I couldnβt believe the highway department called my dad a thief.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 09 2019
We should legalize marijuana in every state and use the revenue to fix all the highways and roads
Weβll call it Operation Pot Hole
π︎ 49
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︎ Mar 15 2018
Why they put rumble strips on the sides of highways
So blind drivers know when they're going off the road.
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︎ May 28 2019
Hey, did you hear about the semi that overturned and spilled all the rolling chairs onto the highway for several miles?
It was a widespread case of loose stools.
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︎ May 08 2019
My dad couldn't turn on the highway.
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︎ Feb 22 2019
I was driving on the highway and the wife said "You missed a right"
And I said "Thanks babe, and you're Mrs Right"
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︎ Feb 21 2020
[On the highway] Her: Hey, I think you missed a right.
Me: Thanks babe. You Mrs. Right!
π︎ 6
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︎ Mar 30 2020
A truck carrying toupees crashed on the highway,spilling everything
Police are combing the area
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︎ May 25 2019
Driving on the highway. Wife: Hey, you just missed a right.
Me: Thanks babe. You just Mrs. Right.
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︎ Aug 01 2018
[Driving on the highway] Her: Hey, I think you missed a right.
Me: Aw, thanks. You Mrs. right!
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︎ May 17 2019
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