Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in the crack.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drlawrie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cross between a transformer and a hippo

Optapotamus Prime

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuggeybug
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
Did I tell you guys about the cross-eyed teacher?

She couldn’t control her pupils.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
My vet picked up my dog, looked at him and confirmed that he was cross-eyed and that he had to be put down.

Confused and upset, I asked why.

The vet advised he was too heavy to hold any longer.

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
Why did the tree cross the street?

They were opening a new branch on the other side

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarcityflow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a pit bull and a computer?

Not sure !! But when it megabytes, it megahertz.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Elephino πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deleted_acc0unt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot?

A walkie-talkie

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickef
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".

That was the punchline

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put on the wrong socks this morning.

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My 9 year old told me this....What do you get when you cross a pig and an oven ??

Bakin'

πŸ‘︎ 127
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amart1985
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
From my 10 yr old. "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE PLAYGROUND?"

To get to the other slide

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/According-Ease
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a Rottweiler with a bunny ?

Just the Rottweiler

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a Roman emperor with a covid pandemic?

Julius Sneezer

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spitz81
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a angry cow?

you get two animals in a baaaaaaaad moooooooood

Edit: Thank u for the gold, kind stranger

πŸ‘︎ 779
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dudesxx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a Elephant with a Rino?

Ele-phi-no.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Unclebigfoote
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the undefined cross the road?

[object Object]

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drakens6
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
Why did the preschooler cross the road?

To get to the other slide.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack

πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ripmylasagna
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most boring body of water to cross?

The Redundan-Sea

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/antirabbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't think of a better way to cross the lake

Canoe?

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alecdoconnor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a hedgehog and a pig?

A porkupine.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
My 5 year old just got me with this one: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?

Frostbite!

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ilikecake81
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
What do you say when you cross the border between Sweden and Finland?

And across the Finnish line

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnBuachaillEire
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
So proud of my 3 year old daughter... her first dad joke. β€œHey Dad, why did the duck cross the road?”

Because the chicken had the day off.

Neither my wife or I have any idea where she heard this. And she isn’t divulging her sources. Hilarious.

Edit: The first joke she’s told in general. And happened to be a dad joke. :-)

πŸ‘︎ 680
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EagleTG
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
what do you get when you cross a shih tzu and a bulldog?

bullshit.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

About halfway.

πŸ‘︎ 295
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/themeatspin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a porcupine and a dodgeball?

A painful game.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Obese-Boy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it was poultry in motion.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/2ndbreakfastfan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you cross a shoe with a tent?

Boot camp!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a French Ruler and a grenade?

Napoleon Blown-Apart!!!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frugatti_cuse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
I'd like to plug my wife's attempt to cross the Atlantic in a bath tub.

But it's too late....she sank.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the girl cross with the guy after he broke up with her?

Because she was an X.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperWizard7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to stop cross dressing.

So I packed her things and left.

πŸ‘︎ 603
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dm-me-potatoes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To see the chicken strip

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EHDAwesomeness
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second hand store.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Timsonater
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross Scandinavian landscapes with an American car company?

A fjord fusion.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gabeeb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have the guts.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the sperm cross the road today?

Because I wore the wrong Socks on...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Waizun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

Ell if I no

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kevin407
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic ?

About half way.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road? (Punchline is different)

different

πŸ‘︎ 224
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamerx1353
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vancity1985
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
Why did the sperm cross the road?

I put the wrong socks on this morning

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/takuache_beaner
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyZ92
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic?

About halfway.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road???

It was stuck in a crack.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Daymondotcom
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report

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