I found a $20 bill in the parking lot of the grocery store. I asked myself, what would Jesus do?

So I turned it into wine.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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A driveway isn't a parking lot...

...it's a parking little

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I was backing out of the parking lot earlier when I backed into a car! The driver was only 3 feet tall....!

He got out of the car and started waving his hands above his head! He kept yelling "I'm not Happy, I'm not Happy!"

So, I got out and yelled back, "Well, which one are you!?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Existence111111
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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I was walking in a parking lot and tripped. I hit my head on a car.

I fell into a Tacoma

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Howard_Jones
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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Barking a lot on a parking lot
πŸ‘︎ 666
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vanquar8
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2017
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I took my kids to a pumpkin farm today and they had an electric fence around their parking lot.

As I placed my hand on the fence I told my kids "I'd be shocked if this is on!"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rumin8tion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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I have a shared parking lot with my neighbor. I don’t like him much but I’ve decided to try and be friends. After all...

We have a lot in common

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beybladepenis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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You can't trust the trees on the west side of the parking lot.

They get shady...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theriskjunky
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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Went to an Ed Sheeran concert at Arrowhead in KC. We parked in the red parking lot.
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheik718
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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I wanted to say hi to the guy I saw while parking my car, but it looked like he was going through a lot.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TOBIMIZER
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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We were driving by a parking lot full of cars. Dad points and says...

That's a lot!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SillyDaddy89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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I went to visit my pregnant friend in the hospital and found a parking spot in the C section of the parking lot.

I had to climb out of the sunroof.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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I dropped a box of donuts in the parking lots and all the crows are eying them greedily...

It's a tempted murder.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Why does every tech company have a basketball hoop in the parking lot?

So people won’t have troubleshooting.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DericAA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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Just found a victim of hit and run in a parking lot. Crime is unbearable.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fasterthan3E8mps
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
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While pulling into a parking lot my wife noticed a car with a reverse light out.

Our friend in the back seat was a dad for a short while. All I heard her say was "I guess only half of the car is backing up."

I'm so proud of her.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rudelyinterrupts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2018
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The other day, I saw a guy pooping on a car in a parking lot.

If you ask me, that's really fowl behavior.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/massivevivid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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So I was Dad joked in the parking lot

So I just met a master jokester. The setting:

I came out of work across the parking lot and a car comes at me. So I cross and I hear him go, 'youre walking too fast for this place' it's a 55+ community. So I walk over to talk to him and he goes 'what are you doin here your awfully young to be here'

me: yeaah, I'm 10 years to young. I'm the new chef for your clubhouse'

Him: 'youll be cooking for old men'

Me: 'its a challenge'

Him: 'well I don't want to keep you

Me: 'im just picking my dad up from physical therapy'

Him deadpan, 'well you might not want to do that'

Me: why?!

Him dead serious: well, because he's got to be heavy

Me: ... I can't believe I just got grandpop joked

Him: you better believe it

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZenPancakes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
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I parked in the C section of the hospital parking lot.

The only way I could get out of my car was through the sunroof.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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The parking lot at the shopping center was broken.

I guess there were malfunctioning mall functions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pietdagamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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Last night I was late to a dinner with friends because I couldn't find any parking. Eventually, I just parked the car in a place with a lot of foot traffic.

It got toed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SandJA1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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What do a call a parking lot that has been flooded?

Car pool!

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MufasaReborn91
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
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Me and the old man were walking down a parking lot.

On the way to the store he points and laughs.

"Ha! That's illegal"

I look where he points and it is a Pontiac Torrent...

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yann_the_mann
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2016
🚨︎ report
So on my way to work today, i noticed alot of people using the church parking lot to make U-Turns

I guess the church is a good place to turn yourself around.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rogshamosh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
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Because it's a parking lot.
πŸ‘︎ 175
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kibblets
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2014
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I saw a camouflage truck in a parking lot today...

Me: I wish you'd made a comment on that camo truck, so I could say "What truck?"

Mom: Sorry, I didn't even see it!

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bren926
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2016
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What's the deal with parallel parking? It should be called co-linear parking, parking in a parking lot is parallel parking!

My dad was a math teacher and thinks he's Seinfeld.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/USAFacts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2014
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My co worker gave me a heads up as I was leaving about a deer outside the parking lot

I responded with "thanks for bucking up, but I don't think I will have to worry about it doe."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kitten_Factory
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2016
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Waiting for my brother in the parking lot...

my dad and I watched a girl in a banana costume run by the car and out off the lot. My dad quickly says, "I guess she had to peel."

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2013
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My dad stops abruptly in front of his car in the parking lot and looks at the hood...

"SHIT!" ....patiently waits for someone in my family to see the bird poop he is staring at while my mom is freaking out about a possible dent.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seewhatyadidthere
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad pulled this one on me in the mall parking lot

"Hey amnesiajune, where did we park?"

"Uhh... 2A or 2B"

"2B or not 2B... Thats the question!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amnesiajune
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2014
🚨︎ report
In the parking lot.

My local zoo has a Christmas Lights night for members. My wife and I just took our daughter, and while we were leaving, a couple pulled up next to us. The woman got out of the car, and I said, "be careful, it's a zoo in there."

Neither of the people in the couple appreciated it. I snickered the whole way home.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nappy-doo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2013
🚨︎ report
At the mall parking lot when a bus load of middle school band kids unloads

"Wow, where do you think all those kids come from?"
"Their homes."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBadTacos
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2013
🚨︎ report
I went to visit a friend at the hospital and found a spot in the β€œC” section of the parking lot.

I had to climb out of the sunroof.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I parked in the C section of the parking lot.

I had to climb out of the sunroof.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
🚨︎ report

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