I can't stop climbing up through the garage to the roof...
Did I ever tell you the hammer in my garage knows a dance?
(true story) After having my son install an electric keypad deadbolt on the man door in my garage, my daughter says:
Dad, are you sure that new deadbolt was man-door-tory??
Making daddy proud.
What does a pirate say when he takes his car into the garage with a dodgy exhaust.
" Aaaaarrrr.....she blows."
I cloned myself and he is following me everywhere. To the garage, kitchen, bathroom....
Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself
Can't believe someone broke into my garage and stole the limbo stick...
Seriously, how low can you go?
The sign in the hospital parking garage said Patient Discharge.
That explained the stains next to it.
My son asked if he could use the garage so he could jam with his band.
I broke the bad news: we only have marmalade in this house.
My neighbor was repairing his car in the garage.
He had taken out both front tires. When he went inside his house I decided to steal away only one tire, because stealing both would have made me two tired.
What did the redditor say to his mother while waiting for her to get the automobile out of the garage?
Get the kar-ma!
I’ll see myself out.
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage?
It was wrong on so many levels.
Dad joke at the garage sale
So I'm at a local garage sale, and I can't help myself, I have to look into the free bin.
there, staring back at me was a guitar without any strings on it... and of coarse the dad joke of a lifetime.
A sign that read "free guitar, no strings attached." :D
I caught my son smoking pot in the garage, and a few minutes later, my wife walked in.
She caught my son and me smoking pot in the garage.
What did the parking garage say to the road?
Why can't Superman ever drive to the top level of the parking garage?
Because he always stays in the Lois Lane
Kill me pls
I went to a garage sale the other day, they had a radio with no volume control.
I just couldn't turn it down
I went to a garage sale and saw a radio for 1$ that had its volume stuck all the way up.
So I said "I guess I can't turn that down!"
As we were cleaning the garage I asked my 10 year old: “son, do you have any big heavy balls?”
Son: “yes, I have a few”
Me “you do? Where do you buy your underwear?”
After a few second pause, my son says: “Dick’s Supporting Goods”
At least the shaking father didn't have to place his car in the garage on his own...
Just walked into the garage and the universe made a dad joke
I was in the garage the other day and the neighbor kid threw a small file at me...
Dad was in the garage working when he dropped this one.
http://i.imgur.com/rP4gc2C.jpg
Why couldn't the dead car drive into the cluttered garage
I finally fixed that leak behind the garage. No more rain on the lawnmower!
This is truly a watershed moment!
Hey, the house next door is having a garage sale.
I wonder how much they're charging... I could really use a new garage!
Did you hear about the Rabi who made beer in his garage?
I asked dad why it makes him so uncomfortable to discuss the possibility of me moving into the garage?
He said "It's too close to home".
My son and I were cleaning out the garage.
Son: Daddy, what is this?
Daddy: It's a flashlight.
Son: Yeah, it's not heavy, because its light.
My wife said she noticed a hole in the garage.
I told her I'd look into it.
At the garage sale today, there was this RC circuit kit being sold cheap because it was missing its resistors. I don't like electronics but I got it anyways.
The offer was irresistible.
My dad likes to help cut up all of our cardboard boxes in the garage, and compactly pack them for recycling...
I joked with him about how the boxes are piling up and I need him to cut them up. He lives overseas so he said that if I buy his plane ticket, he'll come and do the work.
I told him that my gardener Ebodio will cut the boxes if I ask him to, and much less money.
To make my dad feel better, I (half-jokingly) say that Ebodio's technique is not as good and he will be slower, but he'll be a whole lot cheaper.
My dad's response:
"I feel like I am being undercut"
anytime we are within 3 feet of his pegboard of tools in the garage, my Dad drops this on me.
Was driving to pick up a car from the garage with my dad
We went to pick up my mom's red Fiat 500, and as we turned right my dad remarked on a green Fiat that passed by us. He said: "I guess that one isn't ripe yet."
I chuckled.
I was getting a rabbit trap off the top shelf in my garage when it fell on my head.
It got caught in my hair.
My son left his luggage in the garage
Where ya goin' son?
To grab my bag.
The bathroom has more privacy, son.
Cleaning out the garage, Episode 1, starring: my dad.
This is what happens when you retire.
http://i.imgur.com/WDQ2hR1.png
Waiting in a line of cars in the parking garage...
Dad: We better turn off the fan, or we'll all get exhausted.
My wife said, of RideLondon participants, "I can ride faster than that on my bike in the garage"
I replied, you won't get very far in the garage
Doing some work in the garage when my dad said this one
Dad: We need 10W-30 oil for the lawnmower but it looks like we only have 10W-40. We'll try it, though.
Me: What's the difference?
Dad: Oh, about ten. Hehe.
My dad is driving the car out of a parking garage...
...and my little brother from the back seat says,
Brother: we just made four right turns in a row.
Dad: it's a good thing we haven't made any wrong turns yet.
Dammit Dad.
Someone broke into my garage and stole the limbo stick
Like Seriously, how low can you go?
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