I can't stop climbing up through the garage to the roof...

I think I'm an attic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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Did I ever tell you the hammer in my garage knows a dance?

It's mallet.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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(true story) After having my son install an electric keypad deadbolt on the man door in my garage, my daughter says:

Dad, are you sure that new deadbolt was man-door-tory??

Making daddy proud.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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What does a pirate say when he takes his car into the garage with a dodgy exhaust.

" Aaaaarrrr.....she blows."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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I cloned myself and he is following me everywhere. To the garage, kitchen, bathroom....

Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Can't believe someone broke into my garage and stole the limbo stick...

Seriously, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vectorix36
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Brewskis in the garage v.redd.it/0ve5t1awjw951
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzapost
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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The sign in the hospital parking garage said Patient Discharge.

That explained the stains next to it.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IamREBELoe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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My son asked if he could use the garage so he could jam with his band.

I broke the bad news: we only have marmalade in this house.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RagingBone69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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My neighbor was repairing his car in the garage.

He had taken out both front tires. When he went inside his house I decided to steal away only one tire, because stealing both would have made me two tired.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/it_roll
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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What did the redditor say to his mother while waiting for her to get the automobile out of the garage?

Get the kar-ma!

I’ll see myself out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bijan_T
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage?

It was wrong on so many levels.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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Dad joke at the garage sale

So I'm at a local garage sale, and I can't help myself, I have to look into the free bin.

there, staring back at me was a guitar without any strings on it... and of coarse the dad joke of a lifetime.

A sign that read "free guitar, no strings attached." :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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I caught my son smoking pot in the garage, and a few minutes later, my wife walked in.

She caught my son and me smoking pot in the garage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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What did the parking garage say to the road?

Not a lot.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWackyPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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Why can't Superman ever drive to the top level of the parking garage?

Because he always stays in the Lois Lane

Kill me pls

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ts84g
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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I went to a garage sale the other day, they had a radio with no volume control.

I just couldn't turn it down

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lmYourHuckleberry
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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I went to a garage sale and saw a radio for 1$ that had its volume stuck all the way up.

So I said "I guess I can't turn that down!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smolest_Ghost
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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As we were cleaning the garage I asked my 10 year old: β€œson, do you have any big heavy balls?”

Son: β€œyes, I have a few”

Me β€œyou do? Where do you buy your underwear?”

After a few second pause, my son says: β€œDick’s Supporting Goods”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dannygumballs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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At least the shaking father didn't have to place his car in the garage on his own...

... he had parking sons

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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Just walked into the garage and the universe made a dad joke
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2017
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I was in the garage the other day and the neighbor kid threw a small file at me...

Little bastard

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MechEisoducks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2017
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Dad was in the garage working when he dropped this one.

http://i.imgur.com/rP4gc2C.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SBF1001
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2014
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Why couldn't the dead car drive into the cluttered garage

Lack of vroom

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EDACRA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
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I finally fixed that leak behind the garage. No more rain on the lawnmower!

This is truly a watershed moment!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaoticFather
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
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Hey, the house next door is having a garage sale.

I wonder how much they're charging... I could really use a new garage!

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TBNmann
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2015
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Did you hear about the Rabi who made beer in his garage?

He brewed it himself

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyPebbles
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2017
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I asked dad why it makes him so uncomfortable to discuss the possibility of me moving into the garage?

He said "It's too close to home".

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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My son and I were cleaning out the garage.

Son: Daddy, what is this? Daddy: It's a flashlight. Son: Yeah, it's not heavy, because its light.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeenjamminR
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
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My wife said she noticed a hole in the garage.

I told her I'd look into it.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soomuchcoffee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2016
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At the garage sale today, there was this RC circuit kit being sold cheap because it was missing its resistors. I don't like electronics but I got it anyways.

The offer was irresistible.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciraus
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2017
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My dad likes to help cut up all of our cardboard boxes in the garage, and compactly pack them for recycling...

I joked with him about how the boxes are piling up and I need him to cut them up. He lives overseas so he said that if I buy his plane ticket, he'll come and do the work. I told him that my gardener Ebodio will cut the boxes if I ask him to, and much less money. To make my dad feel better, I (half-jokingly) say that Ebodio's technique is not as good and he will be slower, but he'll be a whole lot cheaper.

My dad's response: "I feel like I am being undercut"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ziggyfro
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2017
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anytime we are within 3 feet of his pegboard of tools in the garage, my Dad drops this on me.
πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doc-spaceman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
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Was driving to pick up a car from the garage with my dad

We went to pick up my mom's red Fiat 500, and as we turned right my dad remarked on a green Fiat that passed by us. He said: "I guess that one isn't ripe yet."

I chuckled.

πŸ‘︎ 292
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doorhorse
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2014
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I was getting a rabbit trap off the top shelf in my garage when it fell on my head.

It got caught in my hair.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/googie1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2016
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My son left his luggage in the garage

Where ya goin' son?

To grab my bag.

The bathroom has more privacy, son.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/An00bis_Maximus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2016
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Cleaning out the garage, Episode 1, starring: my dad.

This is what happens when you retire.

http://i.imgur.com/WDQ2hR1.png

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skunkreturns
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2016
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Waiting in a line of cars in the parking garage...

Dad: We better turn off the fan, or we'll all get exhausted.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2015
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My wife said, of RideLondon participants, "I can ride faster than that on my bike in the garage"

I replied, you won't get very far in the garage

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2015
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Doing some work in the garage when my dad said this one

Dad: We need 10W-30 oil for the lawnmower but it looks like we only have 10W-40. We'll try it, though.

Me: What's the difference?

Dad: Oh, about ten. Hehe.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepdogg
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2015
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My dad is driving the car out of a parking garage...

...and my little brother from the back seat says,

Brother: we just made four right turns in a row.

Dad: it's a good thing we haven't made any wrong turns yet.

Dammit Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prince_la
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
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Someone broke into my garage and stole the limbo stick

Like Seriously, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DevilRyder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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