bakery pun thread
I went to work at the bakery half baked and my boss said that he kneaded me to rise to my potential. I said, 'well sir, I only ever see you loafing around."
My friend’s bakery burned down
Now his business is toast
Due to the Covid crisis, the Indian bakery in my neighborhood is going through some tough times.
They fired all Naan essential staff.
A red-haired man got hired at a bakery...
...I guess that makes him a gingerbread man
My friend's bakery got set on fire the other day
Holmes and Watson are creeping stealthy along the Street, searching for clues, when Holmes suddenly spots a Bakery shop window and scans it with his magnifying glass. Watson perplexed, says to Sherlock " What are you looking for exactly ? " ...Holmes replies...
" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "
What did the police do when they caught the thief stealing the desserts from the bakery?
They took him into custardy
I went to the bakery and noticed I was the only one there.
It was completely desserted.
My main job as a criminal wasn't paying much so I picked up a 2nd at a bakery
What can I say, I knead the dough
What kind of dog do you get at the bakery?
Been working a lot of overtime at the bakery
When the French bakery owner asked his customer if he wanted to carry his bread or if he wanted a bag, the customer responded...
What’s the difference between Keanu and a bakery thief?
Keanu is breathtaking, the other one is breadtaking.
Who do you call someone who shoots up a bakery?
Come check out my organic bakery
My friend's bakery burned to the ground yesterday.
Now his business is toast.
A girl I’m dating owns a bakery and works long hours. I don’t think it’s going to work out.
I've always been a fan of heist movies, but the one involving the bakery has to be one of my favourites of all time.
Bakery Manager: So why do you want a job here and what qualifications do you have
Did you hear about the bakery that burned down?
Now, that business is toast.
The Pentagon has a bakery where government agents learn secret recipes by mixing the ingredients themselves...
It operates on a knead to know basis.
Found in r/WellThatSucks: "xWas looking forward to having some nice bread from a local bakery :(" posted by u/TheWrigglerr
Last time I went to the bakery, I told a bread joke
The baker gave a rye smile.
Why do deer avoid bakeries?
Because they've been told that people eat doe-nuts, there.
My idiot friend was caught shoplifting from the bakery yesterday.
He has done stupid things before, but this one really takes the cake.
I’ve had to take a second job working in a bakery.
The lady at the French bakery asked me if I’d like my bread in a carrying receptacle.
Who do you call someone who shoots up a bakery?
Been thinking about starting a massage parlore that is also a bakery
Gonna name it Head, Shoulders, Kneeds, and Doughs
I decided not to buy a baguette after seeing a pathetic mock up of it in the bakery window.
It was a terrible roll model.
Why have bakeries been having such a hard time holding on to employees lately?
Because their turnover rates are on the rise.
Bakeries do quite well.
They are rolling in dough.
What did the man say when his bakery burned down?
My whole business is toast!
I read a story about a thief who stole from a bakery
There are lots of horrible thieves in the world but this one really takes the cake.
Have you all heard about the top secret bakery?
I didn't think so, it is on a knead to dough basis.
I'm sick of doing inventory for hours at the bakery
At yeast I'm feeling better.
What did the girl buy at the bakery? “She-bought-a baguette!”
How do bakeries that sell dairy products advertise themselves?
My friend's bakery burnt down last night
Now his business is toast
I was at a bakery...
And a man with pure hatred in his eyes threw a baguette at me for no good reason. It was a throw with malice, and I considered retaliation, but as they say... Evil baguettes evil.
I've been searching for a job, hoping maybe there'll be a bakery hiring
I'll knead a little bit of dough to get by.
So someone robbed my bakery...
This has happened before, but this really takes the cake!
I went to the bakery and asked for some short bread
They said they didn't make it any longer
Apparently you can now place an order with your local bakery and have it delivered to you via drone...
Sounds like pie in the sky to me.
What kind of shoes can you get from a bakery?
Our local bakery is profiting so much.
Only because they're all about the dough.
My mom's sister works in a bakery and is always in a bad mood.
The bakery in my neighborhood was broken into last night.
I’ve heard of stupid crimes, but this one really takes the cake.
A green-energy bakery just announced their new sun-baked bread.
While it's cooking, the sign reads "suns out, buns out."
I raced to the bakery to try and get the last cake but someone else beat me there.
So instead I got consolation pies.
I thought about opening a bakery
But the business model was too whisky
The one about the bakery
When the local bakery was asked to make a sidewalk from pastry, their head chef thought "this is gonna be a cake walk"
My buddy's parents run a marijuana bakery.
They make cookies, brownies, scones, the works. But my buddy acts a bit odd around them. He never touches edibles made by his father, and he will only eat edibles made by his mother.
I think he has an edible complex.
Why do innocent bakeries get mad by unwanted incoming calls?
Because they are on the doughnut call list
With all the riots French bakeries must be in a world of pain.
In my bakery I told my employees that the white bread was underbaked and overproofed. Something went wrong.
Then one employee said we could still sell it cuz it's gone aRYE.
seen at the Italian bakery
my dad would always tell me this one: “I used to work in a bakery as a pilot.”
“I’d take the bread from that pile and pile it over there.”
This bakery on the way out of Tamworth, Australia
My friend asked me to help him rob a bakery
I was nervous, but he said it'd be a whisk worth taking.
I love my hometown bakery.
They always seem to have exactly what I knead.
I should open a bakery run by autistic people.
My hippie grandmother has finally come up with a name for her bakery.
The Bakery (It’s a story)
So I went to a bakery right. I wanted a cake for a friends party. When I asked for a red velvet (his fave) they said they didn’t have any. Well that kinda put me in a sour mood to be honest. One of the bakers pulled me aside and told me he could make one for me. This man really rose to the occasion and saved my day. He even cut the fee (It was the yeast they could do) and I didn’t rye about the wait. I mean if someone is baking you a cake personally I doughnut think you can complain. At the end of the day I got my cake and that was that.
I whispered to my kids, "Have you all heard about the top secret bakery?"
They all looked at me blankly, so I replied, "I didn’t think so, it’s on a knead to dough basis."
I just fell through the roof of a French bakery.
I just ate bread from the worst Bakery in America. I'd take you but...
I started moonlighting at a late night bakery
I found a new bakery today, but they only sell 11 loaves a day.
It's called A Leaven Bread.
I got a job at the bakery because
Dadjoked by the owner of a small bakery
After I grabbed a half dozen donuts, he asked if I wanted to get a full dozen and I declined, mentioning I was trying to lose weight.
He handed me a box with another half dozen and said
"You know if you hold a box in each hand, it'll be a balanced breakfast."
You know who works in bakery?
My sister wants to open a bakery
I told her that its a whisky business to start
Why wasn't Gandhi allowed in the Indian bakery?
He was known for being naan-violent.
That famous Hollywood actor decided to open a bakery.
My friend's bakery burned down last night....
Now all his inventory is toast.
So the Egyptian god of the dead opened a bakery.
I recently started volunteering at this place called Muhammad's Bakery.
It's a Naan Prophet organization.
What do you call a redhead who works in a bakery?
I’ve seen a lot of stupid crimes, but watching a video of that guy robbing a bakery...
I went to an Indian bakery for some sliced bread.
A local bakery just burned down...
The owner put everything he had into that shop, but now his whole business is toast!
Took my mom's sister to the bakery. She hated it.
Reports of a new haunted bakery are surfacing
Customers report the bakery is giving them the crepes.
Why did the BLM protest break into the bakery?
They heard they have a lot of WHITE POWdER
I was at the bakery and I started thinking
Whatever happened to bakers A-D?
My Bakery burned down
and now my business is toast
My friend's bakery burnt down last night. Now his business is toast
My friend's bakery burned down...
Now his business is toast!