Bakery pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-gem-524
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2017
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bakery pun thread

I went to work at the bakery half baked and my boss said that he kneaded me to rise to my potential. I said, 'well sir, I only ever see you loafing around."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crayolalightblue
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2012
🚨︎ report
My friend’s bakery burned down

Now his business is toast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Demosthenes-42
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02
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Due to the Covid crisis, the Indian bakery in my neighborhood is going through some tough times.

They fired all Naan essential staff.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
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A red-haired man got hired at a bakery...

...I guess that makes him a gingerbread man

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JTAnimations
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
My friend's bakery got set on fire the other day

The business is toast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/politicalmonster1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
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Holmes and Watson are creeping stealthy along the Street, searching for clues, when Holmes suddenly spots a Bakery shop window and scans it with his magnifying glass. Watson perplexed, says to Sherlock " What are you looking for exactly ? " ...Holmes replies...

" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
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What did the police do when they caught the thief stealing the desserts from the bakery?

They took him into custardy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldgenmemelord
πŸ“…︎ May 06
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I went to the bakery and noticed I was the only one there.

It was completely desserted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 22
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My main job as a criminal wasn't paying much so I picked up a 2nd at a bakery

What can I say, I knead the dough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RiftedEnergy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
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What kind of dog do you get at the bakery?

Purebred

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
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Been working a lot of overtime at the bakery

I knead the dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
When the French bakery owner asked his customer if he wanted to carry his bread or if he wanted a bag, the customer responded...

Baguette

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boilerup4444
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between Keanu and a bakery thief?

Keanu is breathtaking, the other one is breadtaking.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/internet_warlord
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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Who do you call someone who shoots up a bakery?

Pewdipie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolrule360
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
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Come check out my organic bakery

really dough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oddular
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
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My friend's bakery burned to the ground yesterday.

Now his business is toast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_kefir
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
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A girl I’m dating owns a bakery and works long hours. I don’t think it’s going to work out.

She’s too kneady.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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I've always been a fan of heist movies, but the one involving the bakery has to be one of my favourites of all time.

That one takes the cake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_wilson3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
Bakery Manager: So why do you want a job here and what qualifications do you have

Me: well, I knead dough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrotskiKazotski
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the bakery that burned down?

Now, that business is toast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
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The Pentagon has a bakery where government agents learn secret recipes by mixing the ingredients themselves...

It operates on a knead to know basis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Found in r/WellThatSucks: "xWas looking forward to having some nice bread from a local bakery :(" posted by u/TheWrigglerr
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalconLord92
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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Last time I went to the bakery, I told a bread joke

The baker gave a rye smile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargingTiger
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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Why do deer avoid bakeries?

Because they've been told that people eat doe-nuts, there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Olwek
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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My idiot friend was caught shoplifting from the bakery yesterday.

He has done stupid things before, but this one really takes the cake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve had to take a second job working in a bakery.

I knead the dough.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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The lady at the French bakery asked me if I’d like my bread in a carrying receptacle.

I told her to baguette.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamtheday
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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Grand theft bakery
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlwaysNorth_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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Who do you call someone who shoots up a bakery?

Pewdiepie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolrule360
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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Been thinking about starting a massage parlore that is also a bakery

Gonna name it Head, Shoulders, Kneeds, and Doughs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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I decided not to buy a baguette after seeing a pathetic mock up of it in the bakery window.

It was a terrible roll model.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rc538
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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Why have bakeries been having such a hard time holding on to employees lately?

Because their turnover rates are on the rise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wolfenjew
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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Bakeries do quite well.

They are rolling in dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the man say when his bakery burned down?

My whole business is toast!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Across19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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I read a story about a thief who stole from a bakery

There are lots of horrible thieves in the world but this one really takes the cake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain-Americano
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you all heard about the top secret bakery?

I didn't think so, it is on a knead to dough basis.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BLJ2273
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm sick of doing inventory for hours at the bakery

At yeast I'm feeling better.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the girl buy at the bakery? β€œShe-bought-a baguette!”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vitoanz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
How do bakeries that sell dairy products advertise themselves?

With cheesy buns.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/roppis1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend's bakery burnt down last night

Now his business is toast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neightan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I was at a bakery...

And a man with pure hatred in his eyes threw a baguette at me for no good reason. It was a throw with malice, and I considered retaliation, but as they say... Evil baguettes evil.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Draykonslayer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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I've been searching for a job, hoping maybe there'll be a bakery hiring

I'll knead a little bit of dough to get by.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elishaahh
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
So someone robbed my bakery...

This has happened before, but this really takes the cake!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/n-wordpass-DENIED
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the bakery and asked for some short bread

They said they didn't make it any longer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Apparently you can now place an order with your local bakery and have it delivered to you via drone...

Sounds like pie in the sky to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dens382
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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What kind of shoes can you get from a bakery?

Loafers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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Our local bakery is profiting so much.

Only because they're all about the dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ianlucky13
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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My mom's sister works in a bakery and is always in a bad mood.

She's my cross aunt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsKilLikeMine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
The bakery in my neighborhood was broken into last night.

I’ve heard of stupid crimes, but this one really takes the cake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
A green-energy bakery just announced their new sun-baked bread.

While it's cooking, the sign reads "suns out, buns out."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElsaFrozen2013
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I raced to the bakery to try and get the last cake but someone else beat me there.

So instead I got consolation pies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deesel3315
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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I thought about opening a bakery

But the business model was too whisky

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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The one about the bakery

When the local bakery was asked to make a sidewalk from pastry, their head chef thought "this is gonna be a cake walk"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/themanthatsmiled
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
🚨︎ report
My buddy's parents run a marijuana bakery.

They make cookies, brownies, scones, the works. But my buddy acts a bit odd around them. He never touches edibles made by his father, and he will only eat edibles made by his mother.

I think he has an edible complex.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/osmo512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do innocent bakeries get mad by unwanted incoming calls?

Because they are on the doughnut call list

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
With all the riots French bakeries must be in a world of pain.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ben_Mole
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
In my bakery I told my employees that the white bread was underbaked and overproofed. Something went wrong.

Then one employee said we could still sell it cuz it's gone aRYE.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynickname86
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
seen at the Italian bakery
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onecupcoconut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
🚨︎ report
my dad would always tell me this one: β€œI used to work in a bakery as a pilot.”

β€œI’d take the bread from that pile and pile it over there.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MuteNotDeaf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
This bakery on the way out of Tamworth, Australia
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haydstradamus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend asked me to help him rob a bakery

I was nervous, but he said it'd be a whisk worth taking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drakeonaplane
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I love my hometown bakery.

They always seem to have exactly what I knead.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsKilLikeMine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I should open a bakery run by autistic people.

Call it "Special Kneads"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImEnhanced
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2017
🚨︎ report
My hippie grandmother has finally come up with a name for her bakery.

Flour power.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsthearistocrat
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
🚨︎ report
The Bakery (It’s a story)

So I went to a bakery right. I wanted a cake for a friends party. When I asked for a red velvet (his fave) they said they didn’t have any. Well that kinda put me in a sour mood to be honest. One of the bakers pulled me aside and told me he could make one for me. This man really rose to the occasion and saved my day. He even cut the fee (It was the yeast they could do) and I didn’t rye about the wait. I mean if someone is baking you a cake personally I doughnut think you can complain. At the end of the day I got my cake and that was that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperSleepyWulf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I whispered to my kids, "Have you all heard about the top secret bakery?"

They all looked at me blankly, so I replied, "I didn’t think so, it’s on a knead to dough basis."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2017
🚨︎ report
I just fell through the roof of a French bakery.

I’m in a world of pain.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I just ate bread from the worst Bakery in America. I'd take you but...

There's no-knead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainnT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I started moonlighting at a late night bakery

I knead a lot of dough

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kshiau
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I found a new bakery today, but they only sell 11 loaves a day.

It's called A Leaven Bread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daily_Banana
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2016
🚨︎ report
I got a job at the bakery because

I kneaded the dough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trashcancomic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked by the owner of a small bakery

After I grabbed a half dozen donuts, he asked if I wanted to get a full dozen and I declined, mentioning I was trying to lose weight.

He handed me a box with another half dozen and said

"You know if you hold a box in each hand, it'll be a balanced breakfast."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sawser
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2016
🚨︎ report
You know who works in bakery?

Loafers.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/haunter4712
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My sister wants to open a bakery

I told her that its a whisky business to start

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lethargic38
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Why wasn't Gandhi allowed in the Indian bakery?

He was known for being naan-violent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/turumbarr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2015
🚨︎ report
That famous Hollywood actor decided to open a bakery.

It's called Bread Pit.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/celsotavora
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend's bakery burned down last night....

Now all his inventory is toast.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
🚨︎ report
I got a job at a bakery.

I really kneaded dough.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_ME_UR_GALLADE
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2016
🚨︎ report
So the Egyptian god of the dead opened a bakery.

It was a new biz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J-Debstup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
🚨︎ report
I recently started volunteering at this place called Muhammad's Bakery.

It's a Naan Prophet organization.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akoro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a redhead who works in a bakery?

A ginger bread man.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mejakeg
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
🚨︎ report
I’ve seen a lot of stupid crimes, but watching a video of that guy robbing a bakery...

that takes the cake.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sum_buddy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to an Indian bakery for some sliced bread.

There was naan.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
🚨︎ report
A local bakery just burned down...

The owner put everything he had into that shop, but now his whole business is toast!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notfawcett
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Took my mom's sister to the bakery. She hated it.

She such a cross aunt.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2017
🚨︎ report
Reports of a new haunted bakery are surfacing

Customers report the bakery is giving them the crepes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevingcp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did the BLM protest break into the bakery?

They heard they have a lot of WHITE POWdER

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neosanimum
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2017
🚨︎ report
I was at the bakery and I started thinking

Whatever happened to bakers A-D?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2017
🚨︎ report
My Bakery burned down

and now my business is toast

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InOuNdErStAnDiT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend's bakery burnt down last night. Now his business is toast
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ceji3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend's bakery burned down...

Now his business is toast!

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I got a job at a bakery

I kneaded the dough

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/esquared87
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
🚨︎ report

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