Baker's Pun
πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Why was the baker’s assistant fired?

He was loafing around.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SporadicSage
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
Why did the wife divorce the baker?

Because he was too kneady

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FiveFingeredKing
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
I've just come to the realisation that in a way a baker is technically also a parent...

Because their raisin bread.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hairy_Swinger
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
What did the robber say to the baker?

Give me all your dough.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anguishedmoon71
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
What happens to a baker if they steal another's cream pie recipe?

They get taken into custard-y.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dabiker68
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
Why did the baker go to work?

He kneads the dough.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Newbosterone
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Why did the baker have smelly hands?

He kneaded a poo.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnyAvailablenames
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
What do you call an athletic baker hobbit?

Throw-dough

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmyshouseoffun
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
For lifelong French bakers,

existence is pain.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DerBroeckel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Scottish baker ?

A ginger bred man

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
I used to date a baker

But I broke up with her because she was too kneady.

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
What is the result of breeding two redhead bakers?

A GingerBreed

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr0u4ker
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
What do you call a baker that’s part of the LGBTQ community?

A Pan-sexual

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/morgansenpai226
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
The honorable baker walked into a room full of rolls

"All rise."

The baker said humbly, "you don't need to do that." The rolls responded:

"It's the yeast we can do."

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingerpants
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the baker who started taking martial arts classes?

After only 4 weeks he was a black belt in Tae Kwon Dough

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scrubZ0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Baker joke

Baker: I'm sorry love, I won't be home till late. I'm doing a double shift.

Wife: But why?

Baker: I knead the dough.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnrichmondman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
A baker’s son wakes up in the hospital with no legs.

The father asked him if he was feeling sad.

The boy said no I deserved this I got too into the breadmaking and lost my cool.

The man sat back in his chair perplexed even more.

He asked him ok but why did you need them?

The boy looked confused.

Everyone needs them, to walk to run and to play.

No but why the fuck did you knead them?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/distantcurtis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
Why do bakers work so hard?

Because they have a lot to prove

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/McAnixza
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
Why was the greedy baker unhappy and tired?

He always kneaded more

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
When a baker messes up a recipe

He'll whisk everything to make it right again.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NThruThe0utdoor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
When is a baker's favourite time of year?

Yeaster!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
A baker was preparing the dough for a loaf of his famous bread, while his son watched.

He slid the loaf into the oven to bake. He told his son, β€œThis bread is for a very special occasion, so I’m going to make a back-up.” He then plopped an extra loaf’s worth of dough onto the table, sliced it into two equal pieces, and immediately put them away. The boy asked, β€œDad, why’d you do that?” The baker smiled and told his son, β€œIt’s better to halve it and not knead it.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/radioclash86
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
Do you know where does the baker sleep

On his bread

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/4bedoe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
I lost my baker's license

because I was recently charged with batter-y

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShokuTheGod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
In addition to being a pacifist, Gandhi was a baker.

Because of this, he made a lot of Naan-violence.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
How does the German baker greet his customers?

Gluten tag!

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_The_Mattmatician
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
Why did the baker rob the bank?

Because bakers knead dough!

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CipherBear
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
What was the prize the baker won for winning the bread contest?

A Dough-gree

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ursppachulli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
Why was the baker upset with himself?

He wanted to be batter.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vtshll
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
Why was the baker such a good comedian?

Because he had such a rye sense of humor

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/idiotninja
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
Whats a bakers favourite joke

A cinnamon pun

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reapsr2355
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Why did the baker rob a bank?

Because he kneaded the dough.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joeChump
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
My neighborhood baker is always complaining.

He has a crummy job

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marcuccione
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
What did the baker call his son when he baked muffins instead of scones?

Good for muffin

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
My Indian baker quit so I had no one to make flatbread!

It was a naan-issue.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Irish Baker?

A ginger bread man.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neo_anderson_7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the German baker say when he greeted people

Gluten Tag

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jsiggs12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
What does the German baker say to his customers when they enter his shop?

Gluten log?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brandon__DG
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
What kind of shoes do bakers wear?

Loafers.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I heard the bakers parents were also bakers.

You could say he was bread for the job.

πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Bridgeburner
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Nazi baker say to the Celiac?

"Gluten Tag!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTratz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats the difference between a baker, and someone who is addicted to watching 'The Simpsons'?

One kneed's Dough, and the other needs Doh!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cannoning
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
How do bakers feel about their dough?

They knead it!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gahdow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the French baker crying?

He had a lot of pain

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoldSticker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Good bakers use real butter so that there is no margarine for error.
πŸ‘︎ 879
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A baker gave me some sweetbread

It was pretty sourdough

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WithinTheKrypt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the baker say to the dough?

All rise

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueOps
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Our local baker is very affluent!

He's rolling in dough, but I guess he kneads it to feel successful!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I went down to the bread shop and ordered. The baker threw it at me!

He said I wanted a plane bagel!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I said to the baker β€œ how come all your cakes are 50p and that one is Β£1?”

He said β€œ that one is Madeira cake”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Forever_Ron
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of shoes does a baker wear?

Loafers

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/3DogNapt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Bakers don't like themselves very much.

They are known to be self loafing

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are French bakers the toughest?

They're used to dealing with pain every day.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/n1njast1ck
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the baker say to the teller while robbing the bank?

β€œSorry, but I knead the dough!”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bach563
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Being a baker in France is really frustrating

It involves lots of pain

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mopplikus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a French bakers' favorite flower?

Croissanthemum

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How do two German Bakers greet each other?

Gluten tag!

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Day_Man97
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Before the 1st i feel like a baker

Kneading dough

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sk_sk_skrrrt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I accused my baker son of not achieving anything..

He stood up and said β€œyou breader believe I’m not loafing around, I’m on a roll!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ruminino
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did a baker ask their boss for a raise ?

Because they need the dough

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wh0ba
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
There was once a baker who was secretly dating two women.

Their names were Edith and Kate. And neither one knew of the other.

The baker loved them both, but couldn't decide on who to remain loyal to.

When the women found out about their shared man, rather than fight, they decided to compromise.

The baker was thrilled because he finally could have his Kate and Edith too.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirMalcolmK
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandfather was a baker in the army.

He went in all buns glazing.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the baker say when he used both turkey and chicken together?

Killing two birds with one scone

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wandringstar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Never date a baker.

They're too kneady.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bridge_view
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How do german bakers greet each other in the morning?

β€œGluten tag”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Someone_0211
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I walked past a bakers who had a cake sale on.

I went in and I asked β€œhow come all these cakes are 50p and this one is Β£1?”

Baker replied: β€œThat’s Madeira cake.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PSN_Clamour_Kid
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandad was a Baker before he went into the army, he went in all buns glazing
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shaun_Whiteside
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the baker stop making donuts?

He was fed up with the hole thing!

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hackerman79_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the baker that stopped making donuts?

He got tired of the hole thing

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bluehorseshoe33
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I wanted to be a baker

But I couldn't raise the dough

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a baker giving out free desserts?

A terrible businessman, but he considers it pie-lanthropy

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeerAndJameson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the German baker greet his customers every morning?

Gluten Tag....

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kevingcp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I can understand why French bakers hate me.

I feel their pain.

πŸ‘︎ 248
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the Indian baker make sourdough bread?

It's a naan starter.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evil_andy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the baker have brown hands?

Because he needed a poo!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danrough
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the baker have brown palms?

Because he kneaded a poop!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/emmyface23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the mute baker say?

Muffin!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pewnanners
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the baker arrested for selling German cake?

It was Stollen

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MakeMeADonut
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do you call a red headed baker?

A gingerbread man

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItzSaul
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Never date a baker!

They're way too kneady...

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nyy_knicks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are bakers in France always in agony?

Because to the French, bread is pain.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandehmand
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I said to the baker β€œhow come all your cakes are 50p but that one is Β£1?”

He said β€œthat’s Madeira cake”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the German say to the baker?

Gluten tag

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bodd19
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report

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