bakery pun thread
I went to work at the bakery half baked and my boss said that he kneaded me to rise to my potential. I said, 'well sir, I only ever see you loafing around."
Friend of mine asked why I took a side job at the bakery
I told him I don’t knead the dough, but I do get a rise out of it
Business at the bakery is on the rise
New idea for bakery name: “Game of Scones”
I always wondered why the the bakery down the street went out of business.
It turns out they were using Naan starter.
An actual variation on a joke my father said.
What did the protestor yell in the German bakery?
Bill Clinton is banned from all the French bakeries in his neighborhood.
He kept feeling their pain.
My parents were upset when I told them I wouldn't be taking over the family bakery.
That's just not how I roll.
A man walks into a bakery holding a crab
The man approaches a baker and says "excuse me, do you serve crab cakes here?"
The baker replies "no, we do not."
Saddened, the man lifts up the crab and says "what a shame... it's his cake day."
What did the Pirates of the Caribbean order from the Bakery?
They said they wanted a torte to go.
My dad's sister works in a Paris bakery and hates it.
What is the name of the funky German Bakery?
A new bakery opened up downtown
Great service but the food was crummy.
I got fired from the bakery...
....just when I was thinking I was on a roll.
Last night my friend's bakery burned down
Due to the Covid crisis, the Indian bakery in my neighborhood is going through some tough times.
They fired all Naan essential staff.
Since the start of the pandemic, my friend the baker shut down his bakery and happily idles the day away...
He always liked loafing around.
What did the diabetic say at the bakery?
AH FRICK THEY'RE STORMING THE BAKERY
What did Homer Simpson say when the bakery ran out of bread?
A masochist walks into a French bakery.
And immediately leaves, disappointed.
There’s an abandoned French bakery in my town
My whole family mocked me when my French bakery went bankrupt
How dare they laugh at my pain.
Have you heard about the top secret bakery?
It's on a knead to dough basis
What’s the difference between Keanu and a bakery thief?
Keanu is breathtaking, the other one is breadtaking.
My friend's bakery got set on fire the other day
What did the police do when they caught the thief stealing the desserts from the bakery?
They took him into custardy
Whats the most popular video game at a bread bakery?
My local bakery has a martial arts promotion going on
They allow you to take-one-dough.
I stopped at the bakery on my way to the park to feed the pigeons and a couple of them died!
I killed two birds with one scone.
I went to the bakery and noticed I was the only one there.
It was completely desserted.
A red-haired man got hired at a bakery...
...I guess that makes him a gingerbread man
What kind of dog do you get at the bakery?
Holmes and Watson are creeping stealthy along the Street, searching for clues, when Holmes suddenly spots a Bakery shop window and scans it with his magnifying glass. Watson perplexed, says to Sherlock " What are you looking for exactly ? " ...Holmes replies...
" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "
A girl I’m dating owns a bakery and works long hours. I don’t think it’s going to work out.
My main job as a criminal wasn't paying much so I picked up a 2nd at a bakery
What can I say, I knead the dough
Been working a lot of overtime at the bakery
Last time I went to the bakery, I told a bread joke
The baker gave a rye smile.
Bakery Manager: So why do you want a job here and what qualifications do you have
All the Indian bakeries in my town shut down because of Covid.
They fired all Naan essential staff.
My friend’s bakery burned down
Now his business is toast
My best friend's bakery burned down last night.
Now his business is toast.
Have you all heard about the top secret bakery?
I didn't think so, it is on a knead to dough basis.
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