Donβt judge a meal by the look of the first course.
Itβs very souperficial.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 22 2021
What is a machine guns' favorite breakfast meal?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 29 2021
I used to eat watches and clocks for every meal, but I had to stop.
It was too time consuming.
π︎ 952
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
What do you call a noisy meal?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 02 2021
Whatβs a Lincolnβs favorite meal?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 21 2021
I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today...
His mom got really angry!
π︎ 145
π
︎ Feb 22 2021
My dog just lazes around all day waiting for his next meal to be delivered.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
When you order a large combo meal in north korea what size is your drink?
π︎ 115
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
My Vegan girlfriend left me over the meal I cooked last night.
What can I say? M'steaks were made.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
I was peacefully eating my Chinese soup, until a guy came out of nowhere and flipped the bowl, spilling my soup everywhere and ruining my meal.
This was an act of wonton destruction.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
Lunar new year in Vietnam is celebrated with lion dances, dragon dances, fireworks, family gatherings and meals, ancestor worship, and giving red envelopes to children and the elderly.
Thank you for coming to my TαΊΏt talk.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 06 2021
The Mandalorian came across Little Ms. Muffet having difficulty with her meal. He stopped to help, letting her know...
"These are the curds and this is the Whey."
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
I went to McDonaldβs and ate a kidβs meal today.
His mom was pretty upset at me.
π︎ 90
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
What did the vegetarian priest say before partaking in a meal?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
One should eat a healthy meal before going to space.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
What is a ghostβs favourite meal?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
Every meal is a Happy Meal....
.....if you leave your kids at home.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
What diner meal is dangerous for vampires?
Stake and eggs (sunny side up, of course)
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
Why didnβt Han Solo like his meal
π︎ 125
π
︎ Jul 24 2020
My friend asked if i was getting an Oasis with my meal.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the desert menu.
"Can I ask you something?" I said.
"Certainly," he replied.
I said, "Why did you just eat my food?"
π︎ 147
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
I had the perfect joke about french meals
it's unbrielievably cheesy
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
I wish we had ShowerThoughts over our morning meal instead,
So we could call them Breakfast Epiphanies
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
Why da fuck did tha lion eat tha tightrope walker? He wanted er well-balanced meal!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 03 2020
You know Lukeβs favorite bbq meal?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
Why did the chess player worried towards the end of his meal in a restaurant?
Because the waiter said, "CHECK?"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
I've been planning meals in advance a lot lately..
..and it has given me food forethought.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
Eat a garlic clove with every meal to stop the Coronavirus
It won't do anything to protect you from getting sick, but people will stay six feet away
π︎ 168
π
︎ May 16 2020
Enjoy your meal!
π︎ 4k
π
︎ May 04 2019
When's the best day to eat a big meal?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
The waiter at our local Indian restaurant asked if I wanted bread before the meal.
βThatβs a naan-starterβ I told him.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
WHat's an Allosaurus's favorite meal?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
Upon receiving his meal at a restaurant,
The practitioner uttered through a smile, βjust what the doctor orderedβ.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
βͺMy cat really seemed to enjoy her fresh meal today...β¬
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
Two chefs are working on a meal, the first chef is caramelising onions when some spill out the pan, the second chef says βwhat happened? Onions canβt jump by themselvesβ
the first chef responds with βthey can if theyβre spring onionsβ
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 06 2020
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 16 2020
Are you Tina Fey-mished? Would you care for Adele-ectable Meal? Come to Celebrit-Eats
Help me think of more celebrity food puns please!
The menu includes such dishes as:
-Marilyn Mon-roast beef
-Patrick Stew-art
-Tim Curry
-The Cate Blan-cheddar burger
-The Audrey Hep-burger
-Hayden Panet-tiramisu
-Leonard Nim-oysters
Add moreeeee
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
I just threw up my Travis Scott meal...
I think Iβm in sicko mode
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
I enjoy eating gold sprinkles with my meals.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
A Zen master walked up to a hot dog stand, and ordered himself a meal.
"Make me one with everything."
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
Why should you eat your meals from a weighing scale?
So you can have a balanced diet.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today.
His mom got really angry.
π︎ 267
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today....
π︎ 364
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
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