Because i feel my life’s becoming a yolk
There's no place like chrome for the hollandaise.
Because in France, one egg is Un ouef.
Excuse me, but I'd like to propose a toast!
Quacker oats
Apparently they enjoy dim sums in the morning
Ay poppy
He said he was peforming an eggcorism
So I ordered French toast during the renaissance.
A trucker came into a Truck Stop Café and placed his order with the waitress. He said "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said. "'three flat tires' mean three pancakes; 'a pair of headlights' are two eggs sunny side up; and 'a pair of running boards' are 2 slices of crisp bacon!"
"Oh.. OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"
The next trip to the bathroom is going to spell disaster
"Honey, I got you a bouquet."
Mourn flakes
Congee-rat-lations 😬😬😬
Pun-cakes.
"Yes." she replied.
"Well, the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, then whatever is left over, comes out of our bottoms when we go to the toilet! And that, is poo!"
She looked a little perplexed, stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"
Special KKK.
I told him I was trying something new. He looked at the recipe and proclaimed, Oh crêpe.
It tasted waffle.
Me: Mommy tells me that all the time.
He has a near photographic memory, I'm hoping one day when he's twenty he coughs out his cold cereal in college as he gets the joke.
But I don’t see what’s wrong with being a cereal monogamist.
"But at least it's made with whole groins."
Mice Krispies
I build slow
The Sleep Inn.
Son: “I hate crumbs.”
Me: “That’s not cool. Crumbs never did anything to you.”
Son: “Well I don’t want to eat them.”
Me: “And they don’t want to eat you.”
Son: “Crumbs can’t eat anything, Dad. They don’t have a mouth and they can’t swallow things inside them.”
Me: “What if there’s a river of crumbs going into the ocean and a duck lands on them and it’s like quicksand so the duck gets swallowed up at the mouth of the river of crumbs? I’d say it just got eaten.”
Son: “And I’d say you’re ducking weird.”
It was my longest running joke of the year.
Then he shows me the empty packet of KY Jelly had smeared all over his morning toast.
Cereal monogamy
I never knew she was lack-toast intolerant.
In other words, bran flakes.
I didn't mind. I love coffee from the French Press.
...but I prefer it in a bowl.
A chill pill.
It was a sweet role.
And the wife says "if I died would you get remarried?" The man says " no don't ask that it's absurd". The wife asks for the next few days until she asks once more and he says "yes." The wife then says "would you sell the house?" The man says "no" she says "would you sell our bed?" The man replies " no no it's our bed" the wife says "would you give her my golf clubs? The man replies "no she's left handed"
Because one egg is un oeuf
But in France, one egg is un ouef.
Because in France, one egg is un oeuf.
Because one egg is un oeuf.
