I think I might have Florets.
(Edinburgh fringe festival 2019: credit to the comedian Olaf Falafel)
The doctor says i have florets.
She laughed so hard she hit the floret!
He replied, “Cauliflower is just broccoli that’s seen a ghost”
My 10 year old said,"Dad, who discovered cauliflower?.. and don't say Mr cauliflower or Mrs cauliflower or and member of the cauliflower family...!" (...Which of course I was about to)
So taken aback I said "it was a dog called flower. He was a collie". Best I could do in a tight spot!
Went grocery shopping with my dad, in the produce section he holds up a cauliflower and asks
Dad: What is this?
Me: That's cauliflower, did you really not know that?
Dad: Oh, I've always called-it-flower
We were discussing how to make Cauliflower cheese, for our son's lunches this week. So you start with a roux and add milk to make white sauce, then add cheese to make cheese sauce. She then asked "what else can you add to a roux?" I quickly replied "there's always kanga." It took her a second, then she whacked me. My job is done.
Son: I know dad, you see food you eat it.
Dad: No, I can only eat c foods, cantaloupe, cauliflower, carrots.
When I her asked why, she said it was because their "Stupid Cauliflower Licorice Tastes A Lot Like Dog Shit."
The winner and the 9 runner ups: "I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets"
I have a lot of pet names for my gf, but ever she since she’s been in a coma, I just cauliflower 👉
Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious.
Super Cauliflower Cheese The Lobster Was Atrocious
Orange you glad I came up with these grape and un-beet-able puns? Cauliflower (call a flower) shop. In celebration! It’s just bananas, and will drive you coco and nuts!
Asked my wife what my 7 month old was having for dinner. She said chicken, cauliflower, and carrots.
Me: oh, so he's having a c-food dinner? Her: ... Me: hahahahaha
Long post is long:
Her: Remember dad's tomato bushes? Well they're attacking! At least one is leaning across the path trying to get at my window... We had the war of the roses, now its time for the attack of the tomatoes!
Me: I don't remember anything about tomato bushes. From one battle to the next.
Her: Yep! Lookout tomatoes here comes the chutney recipe!
Me: I can just imagine a cucumber campaign. Operation onion would be next, which will fail, causing everyone to cry. Dill Day follows, a great success for the allied gardeners. All too soon though, the kamikaze carrots set in, utterly ruining the radish raid. The mushroom maneuver is employed, saving the troops, allowing them to deal the final blow in the asparagus assault!
Her: Don't forget the pumpkins want to supply ground cover with heavy support...
Me: Ah yes, the pumpkin paratroopers.
Her: Thyme is running out...
Me: Prepare the beetroot bombs!!!
Her: Aim for Potato Garden!
Me:... keep reading on reddit ➡