What is another name for an Eggplant


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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheIndianRebel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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Super Smash Brothers Eggplant trophy (xpost from /r/gaming) i.imgur.com/An9w3pH
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banzai_Bruce
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2014
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The vet said our chick has survived through the accident, but his brain was damaged so he’d have to live the rest of his life a vegetable.

Guess we’ll call him Eggplant now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoohsySlayer69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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What do chickens grow on?


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πŸ‘€︎ u/brt_k
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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Chicago's Field Museum has launched a hotline where your child can text-message with a "dinosaur" that answers their questions.

Great, now parents have to worry about their kids getting ghosted by a velociraptor? "Hey Timmy, it's Ronny the Raptor. U up? Don't you hate it when you send an eggplant emoji to a Triceratops and they be like: who dis?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeoffPlitt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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A man is grocery shopping

And he walks up to the counter and places 1 eggplant and 1 burger on the counter. The woman serving him says I bet you live alone. The man replies I do how could you tell? The woman replies Because you’re an ugly bastard!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Archiecornall1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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What do chicken farms and aubergines share in common?

They're both eggplants

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yazdmich
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2015
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This conversation between my (ex)gf.

Long post is long:

Her: Remember dad's tomato bushes? Well they're attacking! At least one is leaning across the path trying to get at my window... We had the war of the roses, now its time for the attack of the tomatoes!

Me: I don't remember anything about tomato bushes. From one battle to the next.

Her: Yep! Lookout tomatoes here comes the chutney recipe!

Me: I can just imagine a cucumber campaign. Operation onion would be next, which will fail, causing everyone to cry. Dill Day follows, a great success for the allied gardeners. All too soon though, the kamikaze carrots set in, utterly ruining the radish raid. The mushroom maneuver is employed, saving the troops, allowing them to deal the final blow in the asparagus assault!

Her: Don't forget the pumpkins want to supply ground cover with heavy support...

Me: Ah yes, the pumpkin paratroopers.

Her: Thyme is running out...

Me: Prepare the beetroot bombs!!!

Her: Aim for Potato Garden!

Me: Fire the capsicum! Deploy the celery team!

Her: Bring in the egg plant division to support the capsicum!

Me: This is it boys, life or dirt! I want a passionfruit unit to find us a vantage point, and the strawberry unit to surround them!

Her: We had better bring the lettuce up to date!

Me: The cabbage are under withering fire, we need support from the raspberry division! The potatoes are mashed, so well need to send the zucchini in their place!

Her: The zucchini can't take that heavy fire, they'll be grated. Send spinach for some extra iron. The sweet potatoes are digging in at the ridge.

Me: Prepare the watermelon bomb, we need to finish this! The eggplant were squashed, deploy the broccoli brigade! The beans need to get out of there, or they'll be split!

Her: Cauliflowers are going in to retrieve the beans. How brave to risk their florets!

The corn commandos are deployed, but the artichokes are all out of heart, we need to boost morale.

Me: The leeks are down! They'll be flattened if we don't do something!

Are the spinach still operational?

Her: Too bad the pepper isn't on our side, they're well seasoned troops.

Spinach is a go!
Nothing has touched it...

Me: But wait! We still have the chillies to give them heavy fire!

Her: And the squashes and peas!

Me: The ginger is holding it's ground, but it's being cut down by the pineapple!

The basil should make things interesting, send them to aid the potatoes.


... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zokoro
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2017
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One of my dad's many jokes relating to his farts

My mom, wondering if we had enough leftovers to save: "What do you think?" Dad: rips a disgusting eggplant-induced fart......."Did you say,'what do you stink'?" Mom to me, as I'm laughing hysterically: "Do you see what I have to live with?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jneeb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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