What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?

A meteorologist

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WantedDadorAlive
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2021
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My girlfriend said if I don’t marry her then she’ll destroy my hearing

It’s a wife or deaf situation

Credit for idea: https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/l5550w/my_girlfriend_says_if_we_dont_get_married_soon/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chillie43
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2021
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Please destroy me for this monster ive created
πŸ‘οΈŽ 742
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/darkdragon8169
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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It you see a hungry zombie, destroy the hungry zombie.

It's a no-brainer!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2021
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Why did the lumberjack destroy his computer?

He was pissed that he couldn’t log-in

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mudkipfan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2020
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A man was tired of drinking well water as he didn't like the taste. In fact, he hated it so much that he decided to destroy the well using dynamite. Unfortunately...

It didn't end well.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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Listening to sonic heroes makes me want to destroy a certain amount of robots

I wanna crush 40 robots.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Milesprowerismyson
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2020
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I was playing Destroy All Humans

When I asked myself, β€œWhy don’t we just use our DNA to make online purchases? It’ll be a new form of Crypto’s Currency!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheBatJ3w
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2020
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So, if you destroy a church,

Are you a mass murderer?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ducki_momo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2020
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"Do you know that movies about Elves, Dwarves and Hobbits where they try to destroy a ring?"

"You mean The Lord Of The Rings?"

"Yes, that's the one I'm Tolkien about."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 20 2020
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destroy capitalism toucan
πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/najam10
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2019
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Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?

Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/abdic8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2019
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They became the thing they swore to destroy
πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/maks24k
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2019
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Ladies! Destroy the patriarchy with this one simple trick!

Next time a man tells you to make him a sandwich, just say "Poof! You're a sandwich!"

Patriarchy can only be destroyed with dad jokes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RogerStormzy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2019
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What do you call a person who destroys computers?

A Hacker.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zhight
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2019
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Why did the man destroy his Washer?

It was agitating

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Majoroniell
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2019
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How do you destroy a Republic?

Use a pair of Caesars

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheRealSkipShorty
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2019
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Which chemical liquid would destroy bacteria in a rap battle?

Dissingfectant

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Suss-it-out
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2019
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One exotic bird cannot destroy capitalism

But Toucan

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dajafo01
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2019
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People who think the Large Hadron Collider will destroy the earth...

...are very con-CERNed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spar_wors
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2018
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What type of card can destroy the whole world?

A trump.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xKuFsE
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2018
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If you destroy a city made of cheese, you would have a lot of de brie.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thesaddreamer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2018
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Fun whiskey fact: when creating Buffalo Trace bourbon, the first couple of attempts were complete failures. They even went so far as to destroy all records of the early products

which is why you never hear about Buffalo Uno or Buffalo Dos

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/confibulator
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2017
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Did you hear about the contest where the participants had to destroy neckwear?

It came down to a tie-breaker!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dhamilt9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07 2012
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So if matter and anti matter destroy each other

Would you still be hungry after eating pasta and antipasta?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2016
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You want to see how fast I can destroy something?

I can give you a quick demo.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tuneuponipod
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2013
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A beaver watches as a turbulent river destroys his home.

"Dam," he thinks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spearmnt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2015
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Dad destroy's brother's childhood

So my dad, myself, and my youngen brother were sitting as the dinner table and mom brings out some hamburgers, she tells us to make sure they are done completely. Brother: "How do I know if the burger is cooked?' Dad: "Make sure it doesn't moo" *Groans and tears*

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheKingofKats
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 02 2014
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