What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?

A meteorologist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WantedDadorAlive
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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My girlfriend said if I don’t marry her then she’ll destroy my hearing

It’s a wife or deaf situation

Credit for idea: https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/l5550w/my_girlfriend_says_if_we_dont_get_married_soon/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chillie43
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Please destroy me for this monster ive created
πŸ‘︎ 742
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkdragon8169
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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It you see a hungry zombie, destroy the hungry zombie.

It's a no-brainer!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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Why did the lumberjack destroy his computer?

He was pissed that he couldn’t log-in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudkipfan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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A man was tired of drinking well water as he didn't like the taste. In fact, he hated it so much that he decided to destroy the well using dynamite. Unfortunately...

It didn't end well.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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Listening to sonic heroes makes me want to destroy a certain amount of robots

I wanna crush 40 robots.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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I was playing Destroy All Humans

When I asked myself, β€œWhy don’t we just use our DNA to make online purchases? It’ll be a new form of Crypto’s Currency!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBatJ3w
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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So, if you destroy a church,

Are you a mass murderer?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ducki_momo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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"Do you know that movies about Elves, Dwarves and Hobbits where they try to destroy a ring?"

"You mean The Lord Of The Rings?"

"Yes, that's the one I'm Tolkien about."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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destroy capitalism toucan
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πŸ‘€︎ u/najam10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?

Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abdic8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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They became the thing they swore to destroy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maks24k
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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Ladies! Destroy the patriarchy with this one simple trick!

Next time a man tells you to make him a sandwich, just say "Poof! You're a sandwich!"

Patriarchy can only be destroyed with dad jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogerStormzy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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What do you call a person who destroys computers?

A Hacker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zhight
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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Why did the man destroy his Washer?

It was agitating

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majoroniell
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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How do you destroy a Republic?

Use a pair of Caesars

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealSkipShorty
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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Which chemical liquid would destroy bacteria in a rap battle?

Dissingfectant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Suss-it-out
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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One exotic bird cannot destroy capitalism

But Toucan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dajafo01
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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People who think the Large Hadron Collider will destroy the earth...

...are very con-CERNed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spar_wors
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
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What type of card can destroy the whole world?

A trump.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xKuFsE
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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If you destroy a city made of cheese, you would have a lot of de brie.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesaddreamer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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Fun whiskey fact: when creating Buffalo Trace bourbon, the first couple of attempts were complete failures. They even went so far as to destroy all records of the early products

which is why you never hear about Buffalo Uno or Buffalo Dos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2017
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Did you hear about the contest where the participants had to destroy neckwear?

It came down to a tie-breaker!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dhamilt9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2012
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So if matter and anti matter destroy each other

Would you still be hungry after eating pasta and antipasta?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
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You want to see how fast I can destroy something?

I can give you a quick demo.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuneuponipod
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2013
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A beaver watches as a turbulent river destroys his home.

"Dam," he thinks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spearmnt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2015
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Dad destroy's brother's childhood

So my dad, myself, and my youngen brother were sitting as the dinner table and mom brings out some hamburgers, she tells us to make sure they are done completely. Brother: "How do I know if the burger is cooked?' Dad: "Make sure it doesn't moo" *Groans and tears*

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheKingofKats
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2014
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