I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...

Is this a trick question?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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I got two cookies in one bag at the Chinese restaurant...

I was very fortunate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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The second time Hansel and Gretel found a house made of cookies and candy, they sent someone else in to test-nibble it first.

This technique became known as Munch Housen by Proxy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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I just baked some fresh chocolate chip cookies
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggfchl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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When I Was A Child Santa Gave Me Coal One Year For Christmas, So I Poisoned His Cookies And Milk

Somehow he found out and killed my dad!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Champyman714
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Holy cookies
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarlungs110466
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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Have you been eating cookies? No?

Then why is your face so crummy?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clever_Sean
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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My best friend made me some cookies the other day. "Wow, did you make them yourself?"

"Yeah," He responded

"They're Homie made."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burning_Toast998
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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It is scientifically proven that eating cookies reduces the chance of you getting a stroke.

Mostly golf strokes, swimming strokes, tennis strokes etc.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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I took my kid shopping and he asked me why cookies were $1.99 instead of $2.00

I looked at him bewildered and told him because $2.00 doesn't make cents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PurpleFlame8
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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I was having trouble with my computer, so I contacted IT support. The man said, 'Have you tried disabling cookies?'

I said, 'Well, I once bit the legs off a gingerbread man.'

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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The oreo website... use cookies??
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TobySullivan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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Do you accept the cookies?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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Grandpa: Who would eat Beetroot Soup Cookies?

Me: Gramps, it says Butternut Snap Cookie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dartis_X-UI
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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What kind of cookies doesn't follow orders

Revel bars

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jrdthn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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This year, instead of cookies and milk, leave Pierogi and vodka.

After all, Santa is North Polish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hitokirizac
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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Carol wanted to make some cash so she tried to sell cookies, but they weren’t even cooked all the way...

What a half-baked attempt at making dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UrAHarryWizard7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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My wife misplace the sugar with the salt in her sugar cookies.

It was sodium disgusting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingbankai
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!

I call them boo merginues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichyCigars
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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So all of the deserts were playing a game were they tried to steal each other, the cookies were stealing the scones and the danishes were stealing the ice cream and they were all doing it pretty badly but the pie

the pie takes the cake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pokefire44
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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Unfortunately, the Chinese takeout restaurant forgot my cookies.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eaglejon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
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What does Santa do to work off all of the cookies and milk he gets for Christmas?

FrostFit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BothHeadsBig
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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I was going to bake some Hitler-shaped cookies but decided against it.

That sort of thing always leaves a nazi taste in everyone's mouth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
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What kind of cookies laugh at everything?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ash92596
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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Want some Heart Shaped Cookies?

Its 100% Organic

(I'll Let You Figure this out yourself)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atenatjeayja
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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I was bitten by a venomous snake. Fortunately, my uncle's wife gave me a bunch of money, cookies, and gifts.

I was glad to have the auntie dote.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NobilisUltima
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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Geddit? Cookies? No? Ok then...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWildTeo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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Why are cookies called cookies...

and not bakies?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/permanater
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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My wife's making cookies right now.

I'm really proud of this one.

I'm at my desk while my wife's baking cookies in the kitchen, just around the corner. I heard a metallic snapping sound followed shortly by an β€œOh no!”, so I called out:

> "What's wrong?"

> β€œI broke my whisk!”

> "Oh, that sucks."

> β€œIt was my favorite one!”

See it coming yet?

> "Well, then that's a whisk we're just gonna have to tape."

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2014
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The cookies at Toronto Astronomy on Tap are out of this world!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AncientEquivalent
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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To celebrate Star Wars we baked some "Wookie Cookies".

They were a little on the Chewy side.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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For star wars day this past weekend I made cookies in the shape of a wookie.

They were a little Chewey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarterLawler
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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Fig Newtons are Smart Cookies
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnappyDragon61151
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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I've got a great recipe for "Sandpaper Cookies" ...

... they're made from scratch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GameDevFox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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Daughter: Dad they brought extra fortune cookies

Me: How fortunate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soulfrk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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Why are cookies that are high in fiber more expensive?

You're paying for the bran.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oy-Law
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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The mailman refused to ship my Girl Scout cookies because I put up too many Dad Jokes.

Jokes on him though. I'm just gonna post Samoa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnnyHammerstix
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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When in doubt, clear cache and cookies. [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adee659
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2015
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The cheesecake was picking on the cookies. The pie came over to break it up.

And said β€œHey! Why don’t you Pecan someone your own size!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Owens2k3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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Dry cookies are really crummy.
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
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Did you know Sir Isaac Newton has a brother who made cookies?

His name was Fig.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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Plane Cookies imgur.com/IhyY0MM
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheJediPikachu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2016
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They're not cookies... imgur.com/jFKhpuU
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2015
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Wife made chocolate chip cookies tonight, so I had to ask:

Me: "Have you heard the one about the cookie?"

Wife: "Is this another one of your crumby jokes?"

Should I be worried?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarbogman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2016
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Why should you never make too many cookies at once?

You're taking too big of a whisk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudongoscavern
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2017
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Just been to a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies !!!!

Is that a trick question.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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