Why couldn’t they serve communion wafers at the wedding reception?

It was a no host bar.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 09 2021
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Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said “thanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded “actually I’m a KitKat”

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📅︎ Apr 08 2020
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What is another name for Holy Communion Wafers?

Jeez-its

👍︎ 7
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📅︎ Feb 21 2019
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The Catholic church is considering going all-in on gluten-free wafers..

At risk is cross-contamination.

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Jul 10 2017
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day five

Why was the cookie sad?

His mother was a wafer so long

👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/Hud_is_on
📅︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 20
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

“Every time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, ‘The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

“I’ll call you later!”- “Please don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

“My dad literally told me this one last week: ‘Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

“Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: “Wow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

“Me: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: ‘Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

“I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

“How can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

“What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: “Don’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: “No, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 39
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👤︎ u/weeb123xD
📅︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Crackers recently became popular again.

They've been a wafer a while.

👍︎ 16
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📅︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend turned into an ice cream cone whilst on holiday

He's been a wafer so long now

👍︎ 34
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📅︎ Apr 26 2017
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He just thinks he's a regular comedian.

Dad: "Hey, why was the cookie crying"

Me: "I don't know, why?"

Dad: "Because his mom was aWAFER so long!" And then he chuckled all the way to the garage.

👍︎ 100
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📅︎ Oct 07 2013
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3 4 5

Context:

  • I currently live and study in the Philippines

  • One Philippine Peso (₱) is approximately 1/40 a dollar. Go check the conversion ratio if you doubt.

  • A single stick of this choco wafer stick right here (called Stick-O) usually costs at about ₱1

  • I study in a college where student organizations are prevalent and their means of collecting funds is by Fund Raising Activity, i.e., selling consumables to students (usually food at exorbitant retail prices)


Every single time when I see an organization member doing his/her FRA selling Stick-O's, I ask...

Me: How much is that?

FRA: Three for five.

Me: ₱3 for 5 pieces?

They chuckle in shame. They then correct me:

FRA: No, 3 pieces for ₱5 pesos

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Nov 16 2014
🚨︎ report
What was Jesus' favourite flavour?

Savioury.

I managed to slip this into a conversation that segued from Christianity to potato based snacks within a minute of each other (Jesus - church wafers - snacks). I got three face palms out of seven.

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/SlyEnemy
📅︎ Nov 23 2014
🚨︎ report
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said “thanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded “actually I’m a KitKat”

👍︎ 7
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said “thanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded “actually I’m a KitKat”

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said “thanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded “actually I’m a KitKat”

👍︎ 24
💬︎
👤︎ u/mfitzy87
📅︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the cookie so sad?

Because his dad was a wafer so long.

👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/VVIIVVI
📅︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 76
💬︎
👤︎ u/Josvys
📅︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the baby cookie cry?

Because his mom had been a wafer so long.

👍︎ 19
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👤︎ u/MagicGuy66
📅︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the cookie cry?

Because his mother was a wafer so long

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the cookie cry?

Because his mother was a wafer so long

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the cookie sad?

Because his mom was a-wafer (away for) so long

👍︎ 8
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What joke was in your Christmas cracker? Mine was, "Why did the baby cookie cry?"

Because his mother was a wafer so long.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the cookie cry?

Because his mom was a wafer so long

👍︎ 46
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📅︎ May 07 2015
🚨︎ report
Why was the cookie sad

Because his father a wafer for so long

👍︎ 12
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📅︎ Aug 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Why was the cookie sad

Because his mom was a wafer too long

👍︎ 19
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👤︎ u/akjohnston
📅︎ Dec 11 2016
🚨︎ report
Got my wife with this one

She asks our daughter, "Honey, would you like a wafer?"

Me: "Would she like to wafer what?"

Wife (eye-roll, to daughter): "Daddy better slow down, he might hurt himself this early"

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Sep 04 2014
🚨︎ report

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