I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...
Is this a trick question?
I got two cookies in one bag at the Chinese restaurant...
The second time Hansel and Gretel found a house made of cookies and candy, they sent someone else in to test-nibble it first.
This technique became known as Munch Housen by Proxy.
I just baked some fresh chocolate chip cookies
When I Was A Child Santa Gave Me Coal One Year For Christmas, So I Poisoned His Cookies And Milk
Somehow he found out and killed my dad!
Have you been eating cookies? No?
Then why is your face so crummy?
My best friend made me some cookies the other day. "Wow, did you make them yourself?"
"Yeah," He responded
"They're Homie made."
It is scientifically proven that eating cookies reduces the chance of you getting a stroke.
Mostly golf strokes, swimming strokes, tennis strokes etc.
I took my kid shopping and he asked me why cookies were $1.99 instead of $2.00
I looked at him bewildered and told him because $2.00 doesn't make cents.
I was having trouble with my computer, so I contacted IT support. The man said, 'Have you tried disabling cookies?'
I said, 'Well, I once bit the legs off a gingerbread man.'
The oreo website... use cookies??
Do you accept the cookies?
Grandpa: Who would eat Beetroot Soup Cookies?
Me: Gramps, it says Butternut Snap Cookie
What kind of cookies doesn't follow orders
This year, instead of cookies and milk, leave Pierogi and vodka.
After all, Santa is North Polish.
Carol wanted to make some cash so she tried to sell cookies, but they weren’t even cooked all the way...
What a half-baked attempt at making dough.
My wife misplace the sugar with the salt in her sugar cookies.
It was sodium disgusting.
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
So all of the deserts were playing a game were they tried to steal each other, the cookies were stealing the scones and the danishes were stealing the ice cream and they were all doing it pretty badly but the pie
What does Santa do to work off all of the cookies and milk he gets for Christmas?
Unfortunately, the Chinese takeout restaurant forgot my cookies.
I was going to bake some Hitler-shaped cookies but decided against it.
That sort of thing always leaves a nazi taste in everyone's mouth.
What kind of cookies laugh at everything?
I was bitten by a venomous snake. Fortunately, my uncle's wife gave me a bunch of money, cookies, and gifts.
I was glad to have the auntie dote.
Want some Heart Shaped Cookies?
Its 100% Organic
(I'll Let You Figure this out yourself)
Why are cookies called cookies...
Geddit? Cookies? No? Ok then...
My wife's making cookies right now.
I'm really proud of this one.
I'm at my desk while my wife's baking cookies in the kitchen, just around the corner. I heard a metallic snapping sound followed shortly by an “Oh no!”, so I called out:
> "What's wrong?"
> “I broke my whisk!”
> "Oh, that sucks."
> “It was my favorite one!”
See it coming yet?
> "Well, then that's a whisk we're just gonna have to tape."
The cookies at Toronto Astronomy on Tap are out of this world!
To celebrate Star Wars we baked some "Wookie Cookies".
They were a little on the Chewy side.
For star wars day this past weekend I made cookies in the shape of a wookie.
They were a little Chewey.
Fig Newtons are Smart Cookies
I've got a great recipe for "Sandpaper Cookies" ...
... they're made from scratch.
Daughter: Dad they brought extra fortune cookies
Why are cookies that are high in fiber more expensive?
You're paying for the bran.
The mailman refused to ship my Girl Scout cookies because I put up too many Dad Jokes.
Jokes on him though. I'm just gonna post Samoa.
When in doubt, clear cache and cookies. [OC]
The cheesecake was picking on the cookies. The pie came over to break it up.
And said “Hey! Why don’t you Pecan someone your own size!”
Dry cookies are really crummy.
Did you know Sir Isaac Newton has a brother who made cookies?
Wife made chocolate chip cookies tonight, so I had to ask:
Me: "Have you heard the one about the cookie?"
Wife: "Is this another one of your crumby jokes?"
Should I be worried?
Why should you never make too many cookies at once?
You're taking too big of a whisk.
Just been to a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies !!!!
Is that a trick question.
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