Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?

Because it's only the first date

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chandan_2294
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
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What shape is a kiss?

A-lip-tickle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ilovebravebrowser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2021
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Its ok to kiss a nun....

....but don't get into the habit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
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How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?

On the apocalypse.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dysmmfz1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
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Take it easy people. Pretty soon you'll be able to kiss and have sex with the one you love.

But for now, stay at home and do it with the one you're married to.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2020
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Don't kiss after midnight, folks

It's not proper to kiss on a first date

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/itsmrmarlboroman2u
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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You may think it's funny to kiss someone while you have a runny nose

But it's snot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PaleoGamer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2020
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A boy leaned over to steal a kiss from his girl, but she was leaning over to steal a kiss at the same time.

They both made out like bandits.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 71
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lfantine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 02 2020
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My girlfriend and I smashed toes trying to kiss each other

I replied in agony nice toe meet you.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/djv1018
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 03 2020
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My friends are always saying it’s fine to hug and kiss their kids...

But when I hug and kiss their kids it’s suddenly a lawsuit.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/agfwouldbecool
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2020
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My son asked if he could give me a kiss...

"Disgusting! I'm old enough to be your father!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JDDDouble
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2020
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What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?

Cherpies, but don't worry.

It's tweetable.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/krnnff
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2020
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The cleanest way to greet a member of the band Kiss

Is to say β€œHygiene!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2020
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Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Spotter66
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2019
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What do you call someone who likes to kiss dead people's necks?

A necromancer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spiderpool123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2019
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Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?

I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 96
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2019
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What’s it like to kiss a vampire?

A real pain in the neck!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mole555
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2019
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How do flowers kiss?

With their tulips

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dsgorman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2019
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Hitler got a kiss
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Darkborders
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 08 2019
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My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....

I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bellysbuster
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2019
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Perfect kiss
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/apoorvaShrini
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2019
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Why did the diode kiss the capacitor?

He couldn't resistor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Boobeepbop
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07 2017
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Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?

She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 03 2019
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Can’t we just kiss and make-up?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MarvelMemeMonster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2018
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What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?

Ouch

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jimbob8745
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2019
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You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...

because she wasn't my wife until we were married.

One of my dad's favorites.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 357
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/80_Percent_Beard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28 2016
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My wife told me, "When you kiss my neck, it feels magical."

I guess you could say I'm a neckromancer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 66
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Grizzly_Bits
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2015
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French kiss
πŸ‘οΈŽ 342
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/m0rph3r
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2013
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If a girl has to kiss a lot of frogs before she finds her Prince Charming

Does that mean she has to let a lot of toads in the hole first?

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheTallhouse
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2018
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Listening to Kiss from a Rose by Seal

Wife: This is a really strange song. I mean do roses even have lips?

Me: No but I know what plant does.

Wife: ?

Me: Tulips.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DPAtheCPA
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2018
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The band Kiss decided to release their own pants clothing line.

It's called Jean Simmons.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2017
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Don't kiss after midnight

It's not proper to kiss on a first date!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 102
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/itsmrmarlboroman2u
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2019
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You shouldn't kiss anyone on January 1st because it's only the first date.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/citiesofsilver
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2014
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Remember not to kiss after midnight, folks.

It's not proper to kiss on a first date.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 460
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/itsmrmarlboroman2u
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2017
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Don't kiss anyone today, it's only the first date.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 545
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ElkoSteve
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2016
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What happens when you kiss a girl with a runny nose

You may think it’s funny but its snot

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/snorlaxlover123
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 19 2019
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You shouldn’t kiss anyone on January 1st

It’s only the first date

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PM_ME_NEW_STEAM_KEYS
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2018
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Don't kiss after midnight, folks

It's not proper to kiss on a first date

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/itsmrmarlboroman2u
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2018
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Don't kiss anyone today

It's only the first date!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 248
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ElkoSteve
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2017
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How do flowers kiss?

With their tulips

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chockzilla
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2016
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Why didn't I have a New Years kiss?

I don't kiss on the first date.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 330
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RorariiRS
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2015
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You shouldn't kiss anyone on January 1st

It's only the first date

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/silverbmo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2018
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Do you kiss on the first date?

What about the first raisin?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/topderp1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2018
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When you kiss your honey, and your nose is kind of runny, you may think it's funny, but it's not.

Snot

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Religion__of__Peace
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2017
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