Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?

Because it's only the first date

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chandan_2294
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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What shape is a kiss?

A-lip-tickle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ilovebravebrowser
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
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Its ok to kiss a nun....

....but don't get into the habit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?

On the apocalypse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dysmmfz1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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Take it easy people. Pretty soon you'll be able to kiss and have sex with the one you love.

But for now, stay at home and do it with the one you're married to.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Don't kiss after midnight, folks

It's not proper to kiss on a first date

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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You may think it's funny to kiss someone while you have a runny nose

But it's snot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaleoGamer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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A boy leaned over to steal a kiss from his girl, but she was leaning over to steal a kiss at the same time.

They both made out like bandits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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My girlfriend and I smashed toes trying to kiss each other

I replied in agony nice toe meet you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djv1018
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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My friends are always saying it’s fine to hug and kiss their kids...

But when I hug and kiss their kids it’s suddenly a lawsuit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/agfwouldbecool
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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My son asked if he could give me a kiss...

"Disgusting! I'm old enough to be your father!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDDDouble
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?

Cherpies, but don't worry.

It's tweetable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/krnnff
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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The cleanest way to greet a member of the band Kiss

Is to say β€œHygiene!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotter66
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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What do you call someone who likes to kiss dead people's necks?

A necromancer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spiderpool123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?

I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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What’s it like to kiss a vampire?

A real pain in the neck!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mole555
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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How do flowers kiss?

With their tulips

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dsgorman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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Hitler got a kiss
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkborders
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....

I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bellysbuster
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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Perfect kiss
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πŸ‘€︎ u/apoorvaShrini
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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Why did the diode kiss the capacitor?

He couldn't resistor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boobeepbop
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2017
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Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?

She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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Can’t we just kiss and make-up?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarvelMemeMonster
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
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What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?

Ouch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimbob8745
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...

because she wasn't my wife until we were married.

One of my dad's favorites.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/80_Percent_Beard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2016
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My wife told me, "When you kiss my neck, it feels magical."

I guess you could say I'm a neckromancer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grizzly_Bits
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2015
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French kiss
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πŸ‘€︎ u/m0rph3r
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
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If a girl has to kiss a lot of frogs before she finds her Prince Charming

Does that mean she has to let a lot of toads in the hole first?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTallhouse
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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Listening to Kiss from a Rose by Seal

Wife: This is a really strange song. I mean do roses even have lips?

Me: No but I know what plant does.

Wife: ?

Me: Tulips.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DPAtheCPA
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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The band Kiss decided to release their own pants clothing line.

It's called Jean Simmons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
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Don't kiss after midnight

It's not proper to kiss on a first date!

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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You shouldn't kiss anyone on January 1st because it's only the first date.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/citiesofsilver
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2014
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Remember not to kiss after midnight, folks.

It's not proper to kiss on a first date.

πŸ‘︎ 460
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
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Don't kiss anyone today, it's only the first date.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElkoSteve
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2016
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What happens when you kiss a girl with a runny nose

You may think it’s funny but its snot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snorlaxlover123
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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You shouldn’t kiss anyone on January 1st

It’s only the first date

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Don't kiss after midnight, folks

It's not proper to kiss on a first date

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Don't kiss anyone today

It's only the first date!

πŸ‘︎ 248
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElkoSteve
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
🚨︎ report
How do flowers kiss?

With their tulips

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chockzilla
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2016
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Why didn't I have a New Years kiss?

I don't kiss on the first date.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RorariiRS
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2015
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You shouldn't kiss anyone on January 1st

It's only the first date

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πŸ‘€︎ u/silverbmo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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Do you kiss on the first date?

What about the first raisin?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/topderp1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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When you kiss your honey, and your nose is kind of runny, you may think it's funny, but it's not.

Snot

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
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