Hug Puns

A list of puns related to "Hug"

What should never hug a unicorn?

A Cyclops.

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👤︎ u/Wippwipp
📅︎ Jan 28 2021
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Normal people: "I need a hug". Me:

I'm hugry

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👤︎ u/kaze_no_saga
📅︎ Dec 07 2020
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I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.

That's just how I roll

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👤︎ u/runew0lf
📅︎ Sep 24 2020
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What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug It

Cactus

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👤︎ u/bishboshTV
📅︎ Aug 21 2020
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I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.

It was touch and go from there on.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Jul 03 2020
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My friends are always saying it’s fine to hug and kiss their kids...

But when I hug and kiss their kids it’s suddenly a lawsuit.

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👤︎ u/agfwouldbecool
📅︎ Jul 04 2020
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A man decided to attend his friend's funeral. He approached his friend's widow and after a consoling hug said "Plethora".

She responded "Thanks that means a lot".

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👤︎ u/jcksn_m
📅︎ Oct 21 2019
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Why did the skeleton need a hug?

Because he had nobody.

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👤︎ u/TimyTin
📅︎ Jan 08 2020
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My old girlfriend came up to me and tried to give me a hug, but was shocked...

Ex-static to see me she was!

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Nov 12 2019
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What do you call a person who illegally delivers hugs from country to country?

An international snuggler

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👤︎ u/BigReadButton
📅︎ Apr 30 2018
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I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!

Damn cuddlefish always wanting to participate in PDAs...

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Sep 17 2019
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Wife: You know, we haven’t had a hug in days...

Husband: Yeah, I prefer Ben & Jerry’s.

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👤︎ u/jwmbe
📅︎ Jul 25 2019
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What do porcupines say when they hug?

OUCH

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👤︎ u/BlankPhotos
📅︎ Apr 28 2019
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What is it called when two spies hug?

A bonding moment.

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👤︎ u/Nocturtle_Boi
📅︎ Mar 09 2019
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Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.

Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jun 20 2018
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My counselor gave me a hug today

I guess I got shrinkwrapped

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👤︎ u/BobIsMyCableGuy
📅︎ Feb 20 2019
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A Frenchman let a cat hug his denim pants

Jean Claude

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👤︎ u/aitchnyu
📅︎ Mar 21 2019
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I smelled pretty badly after working at the sewage plant then working out, but went in for a hug from my wife anyway...

She gave me the stink eye as she recoiled away.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Feb 27 2019
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When we hug, I call the area between my girlfriend and I the Napoleonic Area.

Because we are just a Bonaparte.

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👤︎ u/alucard971
📅︎ Apr 04 2018
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Starting a hug . . .

My wife and I decided to have leftovers for dinner last night. As I was leaving to pick up our kid from day care, she asked "can I start anything for you?"

I started walking over to her and said "you can start a hug for me!"

She raised her arms slightly but didn't embrace me; I mostly bounced off of her.

She was grinning like mad. "I started a hug for you!"

This got a good laugh out of me, but she wasn't done yet.

"You walked right into that one!"

"Literally and figuratively!"

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👤︎ u/tfofurn
📅︎ Dec 02 2016
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I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.

That's just how I roll.

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👤︎ u/orduk
📅︎ Sep 23 2019
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I hug my knees to my chest and lean forward.

That's how I roll.

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👤︎ u/fluffyxsama
📅︎ Feb 09 2014
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