One of the butter puns I've made with a perfect setup
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︎ Feb 25 2019
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︎ May 28 2015
butter pun than yours
I saw a girl trying to spread butter on a bagel with a plastic spatula earlier today in my dining hall. She was struggling a little bit, so I leaned over and told her that if she just used a metal knife, she'd be able to spread that butter
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︎ Feb 04 2011
My wife keeps telling me to stop pretending to be butter.
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︎ Apr 17 2021
I canβt believe itβs not butter!
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︎ Jan 21 2021
Did you hear that rumor about butter?
Well, Iβm not going to spread it
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︎ Apr 27 2021
Anyone here the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not gonna spread it
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︎ Apr 06 2021
Don't use raw milk to make butter
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︎ Apr 10 2021
The aliens returned with a butter force.
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Did you hear about the peanut butter factory that exploded?
The Reeseβs was in pieces.
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︎ Apr 07 2021
My wife insisted on pouring flour into the melted butter.
I told her she would roux the day.
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Heard yβall like puns (flies were found dead, butter was found at the grocery store in the dairy isle)
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︎ Mar 07 2021
Butter fly
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︎ Feb 22 2021
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
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︎ Mar 18 2021
The best bakers use real butter so . . . .
there is no margarine for error.
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︎ Mar 20 2021
I decided to throw a block of butter off my roof today...
I guess i could say that i saw a butterfly
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︎ Feb 26 2021
What do you call a lady's private parts made from sugar, butter and chocolate?
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︎ Mar 20 2021
Caught my kids throwing sticks of butter up in the air in our backyard.
They said they wanted to see butterflies!
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︎ Mar 24 2021
I was going to tell a butter joke
But the margarine for error was too big
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︎ Feb 13 2021
Have you heard the rumor about butter?
If I told you, you might spread it around.
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︎ Jan 24 2021
What do you get when you eat too much peanut butter?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
I can't believevits not butter
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︎ Jun 21 2020
What did the Mandalorian say whist churning butter?
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︎ Feb 08 2021
Once a man assaulted me with milk, cheese and butter
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I saw a man at the supermarket today, throw all the milk, butter, cream and yoghurt off the shelves, in a rage.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
I recently switched from using mayonnaise to using butter for making grilled cheese sandwiches. My wife said she liked them more with the butter, but kindly asked me if it was more work this way?
I answered: "It is, but only margarinely more."
Note: this really happened.
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︎ Jul 28 2020
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Not a Dad, but my Dad made this joke. "What do you call Jack the Ripper with a butter knife?"
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Due to the pandemic, we should all avoid buying butter.
Together we can stop the spread.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
I have a butter joke
but it will slip out of your mind
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︎ Nov 11 2020
I have an idea for a new product: a butter substitute mixed with an aphrodisiac.
I'm calling it Margarine of Eros.
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︎ Oct 24 2020
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
I really shouldn't be spreading it.
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︎ Aug 23 2020
Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?
He wanted to see a butter-fly!
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︎ Nov 17 2020
The 5 stages of butter
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︎ Sep 16 2019
βBack in the day...β my dad started to say. βYou could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a bit of butter as well. But today...β he lamented...
βWherever you go, there are those darn cameras!"
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︎ Aug 11 2020
This Halloween, I decided to go as a gigantic butter knife.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Wanna hear a rumor about peanut butter?
Nevermind, Iβd rather not spread it.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
My four-year-old son just asked me for a peanut butter and farts sandwich...
AKA "a peanut butter and smelly."
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︎ Nov 13 2020
My girlfriend usually has peanut butter toast for breakfast, but this morning we were out of bread, and sheβs been grouchy all day.
I never knew she was lack-toast intolerant.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
Did any of you hear the rumor about butter??
Never mind, I shouldnβt spread it. You know, my mom doesnβt like when I tell jokes about butter but... ah heck, Iβm already on a roll!
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︎ Aug 23 2020
Have you heard that rumor about butter
Well I am not gonna spread it
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︎ Apr 09 2021
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well Iβm not going to spread it!!!
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︎ Feb 06 2021
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
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︎ Feb 15 2021
Did you hear the joke about butter?
Well, Iβm not gonna spread it.
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︎ Feb 25 2021
"Did you hear the rumor about butter?"
"Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
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︎ Nov 27 2020
A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter !
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︎ Apr 15 2020
Did you hear the joke about butter?
Well , I'm not going to spread it.
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Have you heard the rumor about butter?
Well I'm not going to spread it
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︎ Nov 01 2020
Have you heard the rumor about butter?
Nvm I shouldnβt spread it.
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︎ Aug 17 2020
Did you hear the rumor about butter ?
Well, I''m not going to spread it
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︎ Jul 12 2020
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