haha milkshake
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharibo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
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ma milkshakes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedurtyjoo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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I was drinking my milkshake on a cliff and thought

Wow this is ledge β€˜n dairy

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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4 year old asks, β€œDaddy can I have milkshakes for breakfast?”

Mommy: No. milkshakes are not for breakfast.

Me: I’ll give you milkshakes for breakfast!

Mommy: why would you offer him that?

4 y/o bounds into the kitchen, excited for milkshakes.

Me: here’s a cup of milk. And here’s some shakes! (Gently shakes 4 y/o)

Groans all around.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alphamale968
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2018
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Was drinking a milkshake...

Having lunch and milkshakes with the family

Me: Dammit, I think there's a hole in the side of my straw.

Dad: You think that's bad?! Mine's got one at the top and one at the bottom

Groans all round

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmycoola
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2014
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I got banned from asking Reddit and was told to post a drawing of a milkshake working out, this was my response. imgur.com/gallery/HjKV9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gloryblackjack
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
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Milkshakes on Chicago's Navy Pier
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaerieStories
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2014
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Dad, can you make me a milkshake?

"Poof, you're a milkshake!" EVERY TIME

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πŸ‘€︎ u/graybird316
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
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Milkshakes

So we were on our way back from the grocery store, with our groceries bagged in the back of the car.

As my father drove, we hit a bump, causing our jug of milk to tumble about, the man sounding a soft grunt of frustration.

"The milk is ruined! ...we're going to have to use milkshakes now," my sister joked.

A few seconds passed, and my father simply stated, "It is a milkshake now."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshthenomad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2013
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As a guy with tremors

I can make a mean milkshake, but the cow weren't happy!

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
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What do you call a cow during an earthquake..?

a Milkshake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/h_cordeiro8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
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Damn right

Under the current guidelines your milkshake is only permitted to bring 9 boys to the yard, max.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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How many feet are in a yard

Depends on how many come to the barbecue

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EasyGmoney
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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What do you call a herd of cows above an earthquake?

Milkshakes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pnohgi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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What happens when a cow falls down the stairs?

A milkshake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i-wanna-kms
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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What's a cows favorite dance move?

The Milkshake!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZuperSean
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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Breastfeeding joke

Girlfriend is breastfeeding baby delatches to say hi to dada

Hey Banana want a milkshake?

shakes moms boobs

10/10 Best Dad Joke of my life.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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My wife asked our baby daughter why she kept kicking her in the boobs.

I said because she wants a milkshake. Nobody laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunarDad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky!

;)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiki9988
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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I was out Dad-joked by a 4 year old

My joke was, "What do you call a cow that moves around too much?" The punchline was supposed to be, "A milkshake!"

The 4 year old's answer is, "A Moooooooooooo-ver!"

That was actually a better joke than mine...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tim-the-Tool-Man
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
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Did you hear what Alaskan cows produced today?

Milkshakes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teeim
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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Lemme hit you with some cow jokes

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef

What do you call it when a cow jumps on a trampoline? Milkshake

That cow then jumped over a barbed wire fence. It was udder devastation.

I know, I really milked it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeneralFirenze
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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What’s the dance of dairy products?

The milkshake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forkingbread
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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Pun Puzzle (post your guesses in the comments!) imgur.com/FwKbwwN
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiggidytom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2016
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Whenever I go to the supermarket with my dad...

He will do three things. Guaranteed.

  1. Pick up a bottle of milk and shake it, asking if we want milkshake.

  2. Go up to a young teenager stacking shelves and ask for whatever they're currently restocking on the shelves and watch as they scratch their heads and look around only to hold out the item with a dumb look on their face (which surprisingly happens almost every time)

  3. Will get a bottle of water from the shelf and hold it high with one hand and drop it, catch it with his other hand then say "did you see that?! It was a beautiful waterfall!!!"

Obviously a hearty dad-chuckle follows each of these actions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaureoTheOreo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2013
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What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?

A Milkshake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rammanoodle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
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What happens if a cow gets involved in a earthquake?

You get a milkshake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hyperz_Riddim
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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I genuinely wanted to know...

Me: How do you make a milkshake?

Dad: Tell it a scary story!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jharlow
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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My dad at an ice cream place

My family went to an ice cream place last night particularly known for their milkshakes. It was our turn to order.

Mom: I will have a chocolate shake please.

My sister: I'll have a chocolate shake, too.

Me: I'll have a vanilla shake.

My dad: And I will have a handshake. Sticks out hand towards employee

I love my dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theverybest264
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2013
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My sister got her wisdom teeth out and I took care of her while my parents were at work.

Felt like a dad when she asked for a milkshake and I walked in with a gallon of milk and said "how shaken do you want it?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/identitycrisis1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2013
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Pulled this on the wife about 5 minutes ago in bed.

So I'm taking a shower and she "accidentally" busted ass in the bathroom. Hot shower + smelly fart = not a good time. Fast forward to right before bed time and I make fun of her for what she did. She says "youre the one that got me a milkshake. You know what happens when I have dairy."

Me: Yes, clearly it comes out of your derriere.. I laughed and she said if she wasn't half asleep she would have laughed harder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/USAFHART
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2015
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My first dad joke!

So I was laying in bed feeding my 2 week old son. My dog was leaning against me and started itching a scratch, causing my son and I to vibrate. In other words, my son had his first milkshake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/newyearnewpoo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2015
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My sister found some startling news about Mcdonalds.

Sister: Did you know that Mcdonalds milkshakes aren't actually made from milk, they're made from whey.

Dad: No whey!

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2014
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My friend's dad has some pretty great dad jokes...

Friend: "Dad, can I have a milkshake?"

Friend's dad: "NO! You'll bring boys to the yard..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxBL00DSPILLxX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2013
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What do you call a cow in an earthquake

Milkshake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrashyBoi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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How do you call a cow during an earthquake

A Milkshake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pyrohectical
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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