Why can't a lactose intolerant dyslexic man keep a diary?

Because he's allergic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PopeLatte
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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My lactose intolerant friend had some cheese at the beginning of our eight hour road trip today...

How dairy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oz_caution
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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I'm a lactose intolerant and this doesn't explain why I see hell after eating cheese
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rengar_Downey_Jr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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I’m lactose intolerant

My derrière gets dairy air

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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I used to date a girl who was lactose intolerant.

We broke up because she couldn’t stomach my cheesy jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Timallne
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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What did the lactose intolerant queen say when the cook served her mac n cheese?

How dairy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snugl-v203
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Lactose intolerant people are scum

Like it's 2020, start being tolerant already

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilhomers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Where do lactose intolerant farts come from?

A Dairy-air

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πŸ‘€︎ u/guitarman1103
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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Do not view if you're lactose intolerant.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/groverman5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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My wife made me lactose free pancakes.

I didn't lactose

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quack005
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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My dad lied about being lactose intolerant.

He’s been milking it for years.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PleaseBeSerious
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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Why is it called Lactose?

Because cows have hooves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aussiefgt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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What kind of milk do lactose intolerant Christians drink?

Amen milk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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Sometimes you think of a pun so good, you lactose the self-control to resist drawing it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CluKInCok
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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People who are lactose intolerant, can’t make any cheesy jokes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A1if
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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Don’t worry about your lactose intolerance...

...it’s of second dairy importance to your other problems.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LukeHezlyn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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I hope whoever is reading this isn’t lactose intolerant

Because this joke is just cheesy

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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Lactose Intolerant people don’t handle some jokes well.....

They’re too cheesy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExcelOceans
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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People that don't like this subreddit are perhaps lactose intolerant...

They can't handle cheesy jokes

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2016
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Even if you are aware, ask your lactose intolerant friends if they have other allergies.

It's good to make sure about anything more than their special dairytery needs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flieven
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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When it comes to jokes, im lactose intolerant.

If they are too cheesy, I throw up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FurriesRGay14
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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Why did the lactose-intolerant leave this galaxy?

They are allergic to the milky way

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πŸ‘€︎ u/le_petit_nihilist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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My sister recently found out she’s lactose intolerant

She is also allergic to musselsβ€”but oddly enough no other shellfish. I told her it’s a good thing her boyfriend isn’t a body builder, since she’s allergic to mussels and milk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nepiton
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
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I hope you aren’t lactose intolerant

I like my jokes just like my macaroni, overly cheesy

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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How can people that are lactose intolerant survive in our Milky Way Galaxy? reddit.com/r/shittyasksci…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ragu7080
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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My coworker is lactose intolerant and accidentally ingested something with milk

And when when they ran the the restroom I asked:

"Do you think they're having dairy-a?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wATEVERmAn69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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I am lactose intolerant and I was dared to eat ice cream tonight

Please pardon my dairy air

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atomicpete
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2016
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Lactose Intolerant

My boyfriend and I were making tacos for dinner tonight. I was grating the cheese and munching on it when I mentioned that I was lactose intolerant. He responded, "You shouldn't judge those who lack toes, its not their fault."

I hope he's the father of my children one day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigglyGoose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2014
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I'm not lactose intolerant,

I just think it's an inferior culture.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
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"Gee, I've always wanted to see the Milky Way Galaxy-" "Um, I can't go to the Milky Way Galaxy... I'm lactose intolerant."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Princess_Ember
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2016
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Lactose milk comes from what cows?

Cows that lack toes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beansforlife
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2015
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For the lactose intolerant.

It is a curdle you have to overcome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kuranei
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2015
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People who are lactose intolerant tell me my fart jokes are cheesy.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sloanautomatic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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Cows have hooves, not feet, because they lactose
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unevencube
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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People that don't like this subreddit are perhaps lactose intolerant...

They can't handle cheesy jokes

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2016
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