Skim Milk Puns

Throwing the cow across the lake

My brother was complaining that his phone was dying and he said, "my phone is 2%."
Without missing a beat, my dad said, "That's funny, mine is skim."

Mine is stuck on 1%

I write dad jokes on the white board in my office break room. Yesterday I wrote this gem up, and got some interesting responses I thought you all might enjoy... (They had to be from a dad.)

• try 2%... Twice the charge, not much more expensive

• does whole milk come with a full charge?

• does that mean skim milk's batteries are dead?

• try cream top extra charged

My mom was making a cup of tea and since I was getting something out of the fridge, asked me if I could pass her the "green" milk, wanting the skimmed milk that comes in cartons with green coloured caps.

Me: "No, we've only got the white stuff".

Made my dad proud.

So today at work, my boss asked us to skim through a document regarding a new/old procedure. When she finished I ask if I could almond milk it since I don't drink dairy.

They actually laughed.

I don't know if I should feel proud or embarrassed for them that they thought it was actually funny.

Maybe a bit of a and b.

I was grocery shopping with my parents today and my mum asked me to run and get her skim milk. So I went to the aisle and grabbed the carton that wasn't full cream milk (I wasn't really paying much attention). When I came back she looked at me and said "myknees, this is half-skimmed milk. Isn't there anymore skim milk?"

I then replied to her "Oh, I must have skimmed right past it."

She let out a long sigh and told me to get the milk while I had a sensible chuckle.

We were shopping in the supermarket and he said that we needed milk.

>What colour milk meaning green lid for semi-skimmed, blue for whole milk

>White

Throwing the cows across a lake.

Throwing the cow across a lake.

Throwing the cows across the lake.