When lemons give you life, you probably have scurvy. (Courtesy of my own father)
She really Schwepped me off my feet.
So I made banana bread instead.
No I have enough to carry as it is...
because it just made cents
Working there is a daily grind, but it is a sweet gig.
There was no punch line.
I schwepped her right off her feet.
I said. What is life to you? some kind of a lime joke.
It tasted like pith.
We were sitting in a Mexican restaurant and my dad ordered a pink lemonade.
Mom: What makes it pink? Dad: The color.
The guy at Burger Place who took my order: "No problem, LETTUCE take care of that for you!"
My eyes rolled so hard I'm pretty sure he heard them through the microphone.
Me: "Look, these lemons were imported from Israel."
Dad: "Yeah, that's probably why they're so juicy."
Child: Sorry dad! I got light lemonade instead of the normal kind
Father: picks up lemonade Well of course it's lighter than normal. You got the small size.
When life gives you HIV, you make Live Aid.
