You'd be hard-pressed to find good cider in this town.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
iPhone developers party was full of clumsy festive drinkers again says Apple in cider
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pelomTEN
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I love cider

I'd be hard pressed to think of a better drink.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrotherFluffy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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What do you get from drinking too much cider?

Bad ciderffects

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2013
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My boy was drinking hot chocolate and said β€œDad, we should make a hot chocolate apple cider coffee!”

I said β€œI don’t know, Son. I don’t think that would be my cup of tea.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaylan96
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2018
🚨︎ report
When is the best day to drink cider?

Ciderday!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
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Help with Cider/Christmas puns....

.....So, I'm gonna be practicing, and homebrewing some Xmas-spiced hard cider soon, so I'll have it mastered by December. I was hoping y'all could give me some punny ideas for the labels I'll eventually be making....cheers for any help!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultra-saurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2015
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I asked my dad for a small glass of cider.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/John_Ya_Ya
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
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It’s illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice

Because that would be in cider trading

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/canyuse
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
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Did you hear about the guy who made a fortune investing in apple?

Turns out he was in cider trading

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
I once made love to a girl in an apple orchard...

I came in cider.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.

I had in-cider information.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
[an actual conversation I had with my beer loving father]

Me: "Hey dad, hypothetically, if the world suddenly ran out of beer, what would you do?"

Dad: "I'd probably swap to pandas."

Me: "Is ... is that like a type of cider?"

Dad: "No, it's a black and white animal."

Me: "Dad? There aren't any pandas in New Zealand?"

Dad: "Well, there's no bears either."

πŸ‘︎ 466
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yupitsnoone
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.

It was a cider attack.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PHATstuFF21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Professor dint have this planned

Me: I am planning to start a cider business She: any alternative plans if it doesn't work out? Me: I haven't decidered yet!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried a new drink by the Dicken brewing company

I recommend the hot Dicken Cider... It's delicious.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend wanted to go to a botanical garden in the mountains

I rose to the occasion.

πŸ‘︎ 665
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2017
🚨︎ report
So, I went to my doctor today due to a constant headache. He told me I should drink more scrumpy to numb it and I asked "Wouldn't that just make me drunk?"

He told me "Oh, that's just a cider-effect".

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that the apples in the orchard were sabotaged?

They think it was an in-cider job.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefancytacos
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
She call me Apple

The way I be in cider

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icy_joe_blow
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s illegal to exchange fermented apples

Since you might be arrested for in-cider trading

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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Somebody suicided due to alcohol

The family wanted to sue a cider company, but they were too pissed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dragonslayer2689
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I decided I'd buy some stocks in the apple juice industry

But I was arrested for having in-cider information

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bread_Princess
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2016
🚨︎ report
I placed my pint down on the table in the pub and one of the waiters walker over to my table.

"Would you like a beer mat?" he asked.

I said, "I prefer cider, pal. And my name isn't Matt."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm posting on mobile.

I can't use my laptop anymore. Someone spilled apple juice on it.

It was a cider attack.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quepyas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
🚨︎ report
The Apple doesn't fall far from the Tree

Son: "Dad where did I come from?"

Dad: "One day your mother and I were walking through an apple orchard..."

Son rolls eyes: "And you grabbed an apple not far from a tr..."

Dad: "I slipped in cider."

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2017
🚨︎ report
I dadjoked my gf and I'm not even a dad.

Today my girlfriend asked if I wanted anything to drink with dinner. She texted me asking if I wanted beer or cider or wine. I replied "cider would be nice. See if they have Dicken's Cider. I've heard it's good." She couldn't find it and, I shit you not, she asked a sales person if she could get Dicken's Cider. I'm still laughing.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ciphershort
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2014
🚨︎ report
I got my dad back in public the other day

My dad and I were at the checkout counter:

Dad: "I love cider."

Me : " the only cider I like is 'Hot Dicken's'"

Dad: "Hot dicken's cider, never heard of it."

Cashier : groan

Dad: groan

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thedaveabides98
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2015
🚨︎ report
Does anyone have a recipe for apple juice and hot dogs?

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted tonight and she said she could use a foot-long in cider.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshTay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2015
🚨︎ report
Why are so many West Country farmers going to prison?

They're in cider trading.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2015
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Apparently the worse they are the harder she laughs

Girlfriend: "What goes well with Cider?"

Me: "........ In" (think to myself "oh god, now that's just stupid")

Girlfriend: "wat?"

Me: "In" (I'm ashamed)

Girlfriend: "wat?"

Me: "Insider!" (as I let out a sigh and shake my head at my fail)

Big awkward laugh, huge eye roll and a "omg you're such a child"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OreoGaborio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2015
🚨︎ report
It didn't help after all.

My wife, son, and I are watching a ball game downstairs in the man cave. As I get up to go to the fridge....

Son: Hey Dad, grab Mom another Angry Orchard.

Me: Sure, maybe it will help me get in cider.

(Wife facepalms)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chemngineer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2014
🚨︎ report
So my boss got my coworker yesterday..

My boss was making us warm apple cider and one of my coworkers said that the cider was really good, and that the orange peels gave it a nice kick. My boss looks at me, then my coworker then says "I guess you can say is very appealing." We both gave a strained chuckle and continued on with work

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheeExpert
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2014
🚨︎ report
Do we have any more bubbly?

Me: I think we have some pear cider leftover from last night. Dad: You wouldn't want that, it'd make you impeared.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargedCable
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2014
🚨︎ report
Nothing better than a dad joke during a potential medical emergency.

When I was a baby, my Mom gave me some cider to drink during the holiday season. After doing this she was told that giving a baby cider that wasn't pasteurized could be dangerous. Panicking she called my Grandfather:

Mom: Dad how do I know if the cider is pasteurized?

Grandfather: Ok hold up the bottle of cider.

Mom: Holds up bottle of cider in front of face

Grandfather: Well it's "past your eyes" now!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bostrong
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
🚨︎ report
I need food puns!

Anything really! I’m trying to think of food puns that rhyme with my name - Ida/could end with an β€œah” sounds. Ex - Cida (Cider). Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iyhui
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I can't use my laptop anymore because I spilled apple juice on it.

It was a cider attack.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGhostKing33
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
🚨︎ report

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