Why did the juice box call the police?

Because it was graped

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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A group of kindergarteners stand single file, anticipating their daily juice boxes.

Punch line.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rahzek
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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Dad's been busy


After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:

Dear Mrs. Harris:

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.

We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.

Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

  1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

  2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

  3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

  4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

  5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

  6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

  7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

  8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

  9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

  10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

  11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.

  12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.

  13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

  14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;


  1. Took a bo
... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ‘€︎ u/specklesinc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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How will Juice Wrld be buried?

In a Juice box.

(Forgive me if too soon)

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/bbm72
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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I finally found my jam while listening to Pandora this morning!

It was right behind my orange juice box this whole time.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ‘€︎ u/lnebriated
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2017
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Why kids loved Jesus in his day

My 3 year old daughter "I'm thirsty!"

Me "have a juice box"

My daughter "yum! Thanks dad! "

Me "you know why little children liked Jesus when he was here? Because he was the king of the juice!"

Religious wife rolls eyes

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ‘€︎ u/LegoGreenLantern
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2016
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