Today I bought extra virgin olive oil

After I used it it was just olive oil.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EthiopianBrotha
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?

Attempted Hummus-ide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Where does extra virgin olive oil comes from ?

Really ugly olives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire

He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bacononwaffles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Olive Garden has a new program where you can order an entree to be delivered to a friend.

It’s called Send Noodz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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How many olives grow on a tree?

all-of them

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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We olive get out of here!
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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I went on a date, and all she kept talking about for three hours was olive oil

I’m thinking extra virgin

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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Why don’t we ever have olives in our fridge?

Because I always eat olive them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LookAtMeImAName
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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Wife: I know you don’t like olives, but there are so many in this salad. I can’t get them out.

Me: Olive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lastwords87
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Olive Garden kid’s cups
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IHaveAThiccccCat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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My son asked why so many people liked black olives...

I replied, β€œyou should ask olive them.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdaChinz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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Peanut oil is made from peanuts. Olive oil is from olives..

I'm not ever buying any more baby oil.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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Why was Popeye first attracted to Olive Oyl?

He heard she was extra virgin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riverrat423
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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"I'll be Rudolph!" "I'll be Olive!" "Huh?"

"You know, Olive? The other reindeer? She used to laugh and call him names."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlmostButNotQuit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Looks like they spilled Olive it...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lompx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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How does virgin olive oil become extra virgin olive oil?

After getting dating advice from a Redditor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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Two olives are sitting at a bar

Two olives are sitting at a bar, one falls off and the other one says "Ahhh are you ok?" And the one that fell is like "Yeah, olive."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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Olive oil

My uncle Arnie asked me if I knew where extra virgin olive oil came from. I said no and he said very ugly trees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TY2VETS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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Domino’s fucked up, but we still ate olive it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inDgenious
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
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Olive oil and I have one thing in common

We are both extra virgin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CAP815
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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Why don’t olives die?

Because they olive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hunted9342
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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When ordering dinner, my wife asked for no olives...

Waiter: Ok, we'll leave olive 'em off for you!

He thanked us for laughing, as he said he "usually just gets groans"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brewvarlet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2014
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I gave valuable customer feedback to an Olive Garden in exchange for a gift card

In return I received a pasta dish.

For the first time in my life, I actually received a Penne for my thoughts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/muncie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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[Be sure to say this out loud while reading] Two olives are sitting on a branch

One falls off, the one still on the branch asked β€œare you OK?”

The one the ground said β€œI’ll live”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NaturallyFrank
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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Olive Bar Pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OpenSourcePro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
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I dropped a can of olives and my wife was concerned, so I replied...

"Don't worry, I didn't spill olive them."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/technically_art
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
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How many olives grow on a tree?

Olive them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Golden_Pwny_Boy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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How does olive oil lose its virginity?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eXieBoiiTV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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What did the green olive say to the purple olive?

BREATHE, GODDAMMIT, BREATHE!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rogers_philippe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2017
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What happened when Moses went to Mount Olive?

Popeye punched him

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobbobthebob
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2017
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I told my wife I just dropped her can of black olives.

I told her not to worry. I didn't drop olive them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigGunsJC
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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I once got kicked out of 2 olive gardens for eating too many breadsticks

My friend asked me how many exactly
I said, "Olive them"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGamerBoy015
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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What does Olive Garden serve on Halloween?

Fettuccini Afraid-O.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mentoman72
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2016
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What did the spanish waiter say at olive garden?

ΒΏQue Pasta?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehlon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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I was a server at Olive Garden

I asked this guy if we wanted "soup or salad?" He said he "yes! I want the super salad."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gumbystruck
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2017
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I dropped an olive on the floor... oh well

Olive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goldlandlo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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My boyfriend said, "Do you know how extra virgin olive oil is made?"

"How?"

"It's made from really ugly olives."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuaereVerumm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2014
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When it comes to good quality olive oil, I feel sorry for green olives...

They must be under a lot of pressure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tirbert
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2016
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Olive Garden Fantasy Football

In a fantasy football league with some olive garden employees. Team name is Olive the TDs. Anyone have any other good team names?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeadKisses
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2016
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"I was at Olive Garden and it was weird. They were totally out of forks. All they had were Threeks" imgur.com/Az0TUvb
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kinggert
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2013
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My wife asked if olive green was too much.

I said a little green is good but not olive it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gapmasta
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2017
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Why did the soccer coach take his team to Olive garden?

He wanted them to pasta bowl.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2017
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Dad, what does it mean if olive oil is "extra virgin"?

"It means it must be in your friend group."

Damn dad. Cold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoubleUnderscore
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
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Why were the olives fighting in the jar?

Because they were pitted against each other.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mstyczynski
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
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We had olives for dinner…

My daughter asked if she could have some olives. I told her she could have some of them, but not olive them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcuccione
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2017
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