I replied, “you should ask olive them.”
I'm not ever buying any more baby oil.
He heard she was extra virgin.
"You know, Olive? The other reindeer? She used to laugh and call him names."
Two olives are sitting at a bar, one falls off and the other one says "Ahhh are you ok?" And the one that fell is like "Yeah, olive."
My uncle Arnie asked me if I knew where extra virgin olive oil came from. I said no and he said very ugly trees.
After getting dating advice from a Redditor.
We are both extra virgin
In return I received a pasta dish.
For the first time in my life, I actually received a Penne for my thoughts
One falls off, the one still on the branch asked “are you OK?”
The one the ground said “I’ll live”
"Don't worry, I didn't spill olive them."
Waiter: Ok, we'll leave olive 'em off for you!
He thanked us for laughing, as he said he "usually just gets groans"
I told her not to worry. I didn't drop olive them.
My friend asked me how many exactly
I said, "Olive them"
BREATHE, GODDAMMIT, BREATHE!!!
Popeye punched him
Because they were pitted against each other.
I asked this guy if we wanted "soup or salad?" He said he "yes! I want the super salad."
"It means it must be in your friend group."
Damn dad. Cold.
I said a little green is good but not olive it.
In a fantasy football league with some olive garden employees. Team name is Olive the TDs. Anyone have any other good team names?
He wanted them to pasta bowl.
They must be under a lot of pressure.
"There's a lot of cars out here what if there's a wait?"
"I'll lift it" - my Dad
"It's made from really ugly olives."
My daughter asked if she could have some olives. I told her she could have some of them, but not olive them.
I said "I'm not gonna go fight Popeye for her, you go get her."
Tried to tell this one to someone at work, he's 18 I'm 34, and I now realize how lame I am. His reply was, "I get it, I have an uncle." Have I become one of these people?
Me: How much?
Wife: I don't know.
Me: Was it olive it?
At a black lives matter march when people asked him "what do you think you are doing?"
He replied "I think olives matter!"
Thought of this one today at dinner.
At dinner before senior prom (not recent) my girlfriend and her friends and I were all talking about how excited were to eat because of how little food we had had earlier that day. I said that I only had two hotdogs, and one of her friends said that she only had some leftovers, to which my girlfriend replied, "Yeah, I only had half my Olive Garden... So like a lot of olives." I lost my shit.
We ordered for our food and we asked for extra plates for our two kids. The waitress leaves and comes back with four little plates and sets them down on the table. In the most enthusiastic voice, my husband gives a thumbs up and says "Thanks! These look delicious!"
Me: I don't know
Dad: They are pimientos. Have you ever seen a pimiento tree?
Me: I don't think I have
Dad: That's because pimientos don't grow on trees
Me: I wonder how they pressed olive in ancient times.
Dad: They probably used Oliphaunts.
Eating dinner with my girlfriend's family, her dad is talking to the waitress. "So what is your name?" "I'm Page." "Oh ok, we'll page you if we need anything. HAHAHAHAHA"
To the waitress, "When I'm here, I feel like family"
We are sitting at a bar and I'm eating the olive out of my cocktail. I try to get her to try it but she says, "I've tried too many and they are all gross!"
Response, "So... you have tried olive them?"
Me to my dad: "I have more patience than you think." My dad: "When did you become a doctor?"
Asking for the olives: Olive some of those.
Asking for some salad: Let us have lettuce!