Olive Garden Puns

In return I received a pasta dish.

For the first time in my life, I actually received a Penne for my thoughts

My friend asked me how many exactly
I said, "Olive them"

Fettuccini Afraid-O.

In a fantasy football league with some olive garden employees. Team name is Olive the TDs. Anyone have any other good team names?

I asked this guy if we wanted "soup or salad?" He said he "yes! I want the super salad."

¿Que Pasta?

He wanted them to pasta bowl.

"There's a lot of cars out here what if there's a wait?"

"I'll lift it" - my Dad

Edit: Grammar

At dinner before senior prom (not recent) my girlfriend and her friends and I were all talking about how excited were to eat because of how little food we had had earlier that day. I said that I only had two hotdogs, and one of her friends said that she only had some leftovers, to which my girlfriend replied, "Yeah, I only had half my Olive Garden... So like a lot of olives." I lost my shit.

We ordered for our food and we asked for extra plates for our two kids. The waitress leaves and comes back with four little plates and sets them down on the table. In the most enthusiastic voice, my husband gives a thumbs up and says "Thanks! These look delicious!"

Eating dinner with my girlfriend's family, her dad is talking to the waitress. "So what is your name?" "I'm Page." "Oh ok, we'll page you if we need anything. HAHAHAHAHA"

Me to my dad: "I have more patience than you think." My dad: "When did you become a doctor?"

On mothers day last year we went out to eat at Olive Garden. When the salad arrived he picks it up points it towards my mother and says in the most announcer-like voice he can muster, "You look great tonight, Honey!" when asked what he was doing he responded, "Well it's a 'complimentary' salad!". One of my favorite jokes to this day.

We went out to eat at Olive Garden and there was a large mirror on the wall next to our table.

My dad immediately says "That family in the other room looks an awful lot like us..."

What a dad.

*we are in the Olive Garden parking lot and it has been snowing for ~30 mins

Me: Man, this parking lot is pretty empty for an Olive Garden

Him: Yeah there's SNOW-body here

I didn't kno what to say back..

My aunt and uncle recently adopted an Ethiopian boy. His first night in the states, he had pizza off the kids menu at Olive Garden. It was a small personal pizza, with an obvious circle shape. Couple days later, had pizza at his new parents. It was cut into the triangular shape. He went to school for the last day of the semester just to see what it was like, and they had square pizza.

Not knowing what the shapes were called in English, he drew the shapes for us. When he told us it was square pizza, my dad yelled out "they're cutting corners!"

To the waitress, "When I'm here, I feel like family"