Some wild r/apple puns
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pokemaster11HD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Nike/Apple pun

If Nike did line of branded Apple Macbooks, would it be called Nike Air Macs?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jonr7670
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?

Plastic explosives.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebulas-Entity
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
What do you after an Apple turns bad?

You open windows.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Di_Ma_Re_Bra
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought to myself, β€œThe streets seem strangely desserted…”

πŸ‘︎ 178
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Retgits
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
A man is buying a banana, an apple, and two eggs. The female cashier says: β€œYou must be single.” The man answers: β€œWow, how did you know that?”

Cashier: β€œBecause you’re ugly.”

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
We all know where the Big Apple is but does anyone know where the…

Minneapolis

πŸ‘︎ 243
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into an Apple store

He buys an iPatch

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
🚨︎ report
Farmer A sells apples, Farmer B sells bananas, what does Farmer C sell?

Medications

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
Told my wife that an apple pie cost $2.50 in Jamaica

She replied, β€œ lol ok.”

Then I told her, β€œan apple pie cost $3.00 in the Bahamas...”

She asked, β€œ Are we going to these places?”

I said, β€œ No, honey. These are just the Pie-Rates of the Caribbean.”

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Datsm1015
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that the ceo of apple has been arrested??

Yeah, he now has to facetime

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/octopusspongue
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
Apple just released their brand new round-shaped product

It's called the apple Ο€

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/19olo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
What do you call a picture of a sorcerer on an Apple product?

An iMage

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nuts_extraction
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
🚨︎ report
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘︎ 259
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spu356
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
Sansung- made by yours truly (Ironically enough, photoshopped on an Apple Device)
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Burning_Toast998
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
🚨︎ report
You shouldn't fart in an Apple store,

They don't have Windows...

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanner_Banner
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
Did you know Apple used to sell phone protection with the phone?

Well, not anymore but that used to be the case

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maxbicmac2004
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01
🚨︎ report
Do you think anyone will buy the new furniture made by Apple?

iWood

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/derpy_ninetales
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
Why is farting on an apple store a bad idea?

Because they have no windows.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thotanhialator
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
A woman checks out of target with two apples, a banana, and a quart of ice cream. The cashier asks, β€œAre you single?” The woman replies, β€œYes, how could you tell?”

β€œBecause you’re ugly.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/some-ginger-dude
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
Why does Eve get the blame for eating the apple?

After all, it was Adam's apple!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
There was an article in the paper today about Apple and Reddit doing a collaboration.

iReddit

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lod254
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report
You know why you cant fart in an Apple store ?

Because they dont have windows.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmTheRedBeard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
🚨︎ report
What kind of apple grows on a tree?

All of them...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
If you see a crime at an apple store....

Does that make you an iWitness

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when Apple forces children in China to work for minimum wage?

iMoral

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zak-Ive-Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
So Apple is switching to ARM-SoCs...

... I think they're taking a huge RISC.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
🚨︎ report
A man walks into Apple and says β€œHi, I’m after an iPhone 11”

The assistant says β€œOk I’ll serve the iPhone 11 first then”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-E-Droflah
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
I met a man named Jim Apple the other day.

He has trouble introducing himself in France.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YouIdiotSandwhich
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
If Apple ever created a police force....

Would it be called the Apple Corps?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeeGhastly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
🚨︎ report
If A is for "Apple", B is for "Banana", then what is C four?

Explosives

πŸ‘︎ 325
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/steveb106
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
An apple a day

will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
What looks like half an Apple?

The other half

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
If the Raspberry Pi foundation teamed up with Apple

they could create a micro computer called Apple Pi.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theemptyqueue
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you only eat apple everyday?

iDiet

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nitefury07
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
Apple pie in Jamaica cost Β£2 but pie in the Bahamas cost Β£3.14

That's just the pi-rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/les_oueff
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
There is this rumor about Apple buying off Reddit.

It's not me, iReddit somewhere.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wunderbraten
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
Why did the apple stop looking for his banana friend?

It was a fruit-less search

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Benams5211
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
What do you do when an apple goes bad

You open a window

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
I saw someone rob the Apple store.

I was an iWitness.

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
What kind of Apple grows on trees?

All of them

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Akshath321
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
My friend thought I chucked a freshly eaten apple at his face.

He was core-wrecked.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
In Cuba, blueberry pie costs $5. In the Bahamas, apple pie costs $6. In Haiti, peach pie costs $4.

These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
Apple bottom jeans boots with the purr
πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RajuNeupane
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hot apple employee?

Icandy

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
What did Apple make with frozen Sparkling Water?

An iglow.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Di_Ma_Re_Bra
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
Original joke time! The apples I had to remove the peals from all appeared in twos, matched for use together.

They pared up nicely.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
We all know where the Big Apple is

But I can’t find where the Minneapolis

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kippergills
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it?

Biting into an apple and finding half of a worm in it!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Riverrat423
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who spilled Parmesan all over his Apple computer?

Now he just has Mac and cheese

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BassMusicIsLife
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pissed at me

Not my fault they don't have Windows

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
Everyone knows where the Big apple is but does any one know where the ..... Minneapolis
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ahimswag
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
My doctor always say "An apple a day..."

"... is seven apples a week."

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nikkobe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
Going for the low Apple here.

So pear with me. I’m berry sorry about this. Eggs are Eggcellent. I deserve to be dilled. Yeah I’m grape at this.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
What do you get hanging from apple trees?

Sore arms.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/b0wlfish
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
I heard Apple are trying to seize the market on immaterial groups of dolphins

I think they called them airpods

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HJMW08
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
The other day my wife couldn’t find any apples in the fridge…

…it was a fruitless search.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lonnstar
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you squeeze Apple Records?

Beatlejuice

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/derdody
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
If I have 23 apples in one hand, and 33 oranges in the other hand, what do I have?

Really big hands.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
How many apples grow on trees?

ALL OF THEM

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
If boys have Adam's apple, what do girls have?

Eve's drop

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AVKD14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
Sure Apple and Monsanto are evil...

But the shadiest companies manufacture blinds and curtains.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
If Apple made a car

Would it have windows?

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
What do you have if you 4 apples and 2 oranges in one hand and 3 lemons and a grapefruit in the other hand?

Large hands

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BrooksWasHere1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
My dad told me that a doctor used to date my mom while she was seeing my dad so he used to give her an apple every day

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fried_chicken_247
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
There’s a new Apple service for leaving angry reviews.

iRate.

πŸ‘︎ 323
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punnygeist
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad took me to an Apple store to buy me an iPhone 11

Me: "Please don't fart here."

Dad: "Why?"

Me: "Because they don't have Windows."

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sexxc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call boobs made by Apple?

Iraq

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
I heard Apple is developing a new car

But they were having trouble installing windows.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lajarus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
Once there was a man who owned an orchard. He grew lots of things. Apples, pears, cherries, peaches, oranges and lemons.

The stonefruit was almost ready for harvest when he was hit with a bout of laryngitis that left him unable to talk. Despite the doctors orders for bed rest, he went into the orchard early one morning to find all of his mature peach trees had been stolen. He was peachless."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KatWayward
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
Jamaica - Apple Pie 2.50, Trinidad - Rhubarb Pie 3.00, Antigua - Mince Pie 3.50....

These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?

Pulp Friction

πŸ‘︎ 142
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
I was lying beneath a tree pondering gravity, when suddenly an apple came tumbling down

. . . and then it struck me.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/l94xxx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
If Apple made a car what would be missing? Windows
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonBlazer27
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
Apple is making their own car, but have been having some trouble

They can't install Windows.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/you_buy_this_shit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
If you see a robbery at the apple store

Does that make you an iwitness?

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bluetoken12
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
The nearby Apple Store just got robbed thousands of dollars worth of MacBooks and iPhones...

...I heard the cops are now looking for iWitnesses

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/____okay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, then what is C for?

Plastic explosives.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/noblegreed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘︎ 160
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sardonicuis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
A slice of apple pie in Jamaica is $2.00. In the Bahamas it costs $2.50.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/betchhxx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
A slice of apple pie is 2.50 in Jamaica. It $3 in the Bahamas

These are the pie rate of the Caribbean

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thunderbull2112
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
How many apples grow on a tree ?

All of them

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
We all know where the big apple is, but do you know where...

The Minneapolis?

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Overlevendeftw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 130
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anam_Cara
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_K_Tran
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
We all know where the Big Apple is but do you know where the...

Minneapolis?

πŸ‘︎ 894
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gingernuts13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
We all know where the Big Apple is but does anyone know where the

Minneapolis?

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GT_Knight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
You shouldn't fart in the Apple Store

because they have no windows

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aakshaj
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.

Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘︎ 258
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C3Life
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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