Some wild r/apple puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pokemaster11HD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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Nike/Apple pun

If Nike did line of branded Apple Macbooks, would it be called Nike Air Macs?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonr7670
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FadiCh2002
πŸ“…︎ May 16
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Did you know that Moses worked for Apple?

He advertised the first stone tablets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PowerofthePower
πŸ“…︎ May 29
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Apple's latest "idevice" could usher in a new wave of movie and software piracy.

They are calling it the iPatch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ May 28
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What’s a doctor who studies adam’s apples called?

A guy-neck-ologist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pathrado
πŸ“…︎ May 26
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Where do really small apples come from?

Minneapolis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cherry_Treefrog
πŸ“…︎ May 08
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Did you hear about the break-in at the Apple store?

The police are looking for iWitnesses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RingsideRoss
πŸ“…︎ May 08
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It’s illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice

Because that would be in cider trading

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πŸ‘€︎ u/canyuse
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
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I heard Apple made a car out of furniture.

It's called an Ikia

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πŸ“…︎ May 19
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If apple made a car

Would it still have windows?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/p_tally
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
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In Jamaica, a slice of apple pie costs about $3.50. In the Bahamas, it costs about $4.00.

Those are the pie rates of the caribbean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbnormalElephant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
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What’s the worst part of having an apple addiction?

You can’t see the doctor about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrunkleChris
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
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what’s the worst thing about having an apple addiction?

you can’t see a doctor about it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenman2359
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
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I got a bottle of organic apple juice that said β€œconcentrate from Turkey”

Wouldn’t that make it... turkey juice?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AfterEffectserror
πŸ“…︎ May 12
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How do you like them apples?

Mom was freaking out that we ate all the apples.

"I just bought them, yesterday!! It's not like they..."

"...grow in trees?" Dad finished.

All of us kids were cracking up and dad is now having a private talk with mom.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
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How many apples grow on trees?

All of them!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wafran
πŸ“…︎ May 05
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Did you hear about the guy who made a fortune investing in apple?

Turns out he was in cider trading

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
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What is it called when a Samsung and an Apple mate?

A sample

(Actual joke from my Dad)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MegaMind28
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
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I once made love to a girl in an apple orchard...

I came in cider.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
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Never fart in an apple store

They don't have windows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bijkeh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
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Apple is making new cartoon boyfriends

It's called AniMate

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
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What are you called if you are shopping at an Apple store when it’s robbed?

An iWitness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jch308
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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What did the apple say to the orange?

Nothing , apples can’t talk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reallewbag92ttv
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
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What's a doctor who specialises in Adams apples called?

A guyneckologist!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2canVANdam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
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What would you call an apple with good taste?

A Fineapple.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbsxact7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
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I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.

I had in-cider information.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
My genetically engineered apples have been disfigured

They have gone pear-shaped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Awesome-79
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
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Apple is designing a new car.

But they’re having trouble installing windows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
Everyone knows where the Big Apple is...

But do you know where the Minneapolis?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elo_Solo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
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Mum: an apple a day keeps the doctor away

Son at shops the next day: Mum, can we get that box of apples? Mum now pretty confused: why honey? Son: I kinda kicked my football through the doctors window

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UsyPlays
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
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I saw the Apple store get robbed once

Yep, I was an iWitness

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
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Why was the pregnant apple so upset?

Because her boyfriend, the banana, split.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/19triguy82
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
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What do you after an Apple turns bad?

You open windows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Di_Ma_Re_Bra
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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True story: My family and I were walking at an apple orchard today when my 6-year-old noticed a discarded apple and asked "Why is there an apple under a pine tree?"

I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."

Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Etereve
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Who does Apple call on to provide testimony in court?

An iWitness

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackoMabreda
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
Apple announced a new product for wives that helps cope with spontaneous dad jokes throughout their day.

The iRoll

Edit: thank you kind strangers for the awards! I told my wife we've struck gold and she immediately upgraded to the newest iRoll v2 software!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Use2HandsPlease
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Apples new Bluetooth accessory: the iTanic...

....is guaranteed to sync.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.

I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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If you take apple, and mix it with pinecone, what does it become?

Probably a lot less tasty.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3 in the Bahamas

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LayThatPipe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
🚨︎ report
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas...

These are the Pie rates of the Caribbean

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πŸ‘€︎ u/portleycrue12
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
How many apples grow on trees?

All of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
If Apple made a car

Would it have Windows?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lipisko
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report

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