Some wild r/apple puns
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︎ Oct 31 2018
Nike/Apple pun
If Nike did line of branded Apple Macbooks, would it be called Nike Air Macs?
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︎ Jan 07 2018
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
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︎ May 27 2021
How many apples grow on a tree?
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︎ May 16 2021
Did you know that Moses worked for Apple?
He advertised the first stone tablets.
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︎ May 29 2021
Apple's latest "idevice" could usher in a new wave of movie and software piracy.
They are calling it the iPatch.
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︎ May 28 2021
Whatβs a doctor who studies adamβs apples called?
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︎ May 26 2021
Where do really small apples come from?
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︎ May 08 2021
Did you hear about the break-in at the Apple store?
The police are looking for iWitnesses.
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︎ May 08 2021
Itβs illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice
Because that would be in cider trading
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︎ Apr 10 2021
I heard Apple made a car out of furniture.
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︎ May 19 2021
If apple made a car
Would it still have windows?
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︎ Apr 26 2021
In Jamaica, a slice of apple pie costs about $3.50. In the Bahamas, it costs about $4.00.
Those are the pie rates of the caribbean.
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︎ Apr 16 2021
Whatβs the worst part of having an apple addiction?
You canβt see the doctor about it.
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︎ Apr 19 2021
I got a bottle of organic apple juice that said βconcentrate from Turkeyβ
Wouldnβt that make it... turkey juice?
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︎ May 12 2021
How do you like them apples?
Mom was freaking out that we ate all the apples.
"I just bought them, yesterday!! It's not like they..."
"...grow in trees?" Dad finished.
All of us kids were cracking up and dad is now having a private talk with mom.
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︎ Apr 18 2021
Did you hear about the guy who made a fortune investing in apple?
Turns out he was in cider trading
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︎ Mar 27 2021
What is it called when a Samsung and an Apple mate?
A sample
(Actual joke from my Dad)
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︎ Apr 20 2021
I once made love to a girl in an apple orchard...
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︎ Mar 22 2021
Never fart in an apple store
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︎ Feb 07 2021
Apple is making new cartoon boyfriends
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︎ Mar 06 2021
What are you called if you are shopping at an Apple store when itβs robbed?
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︎ Dec 21 2020
What did the apple say to the orange?
Nothing , apples canβt talk
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︎ Feb 18 2021
What's a doctor who specialises in Adams apples called?
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︎ Mar 10 2021
What would you call an apple with good taste?
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︎ Feb 28 2021
I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.
I had in-cider information.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
My genetically engineered apples have been disfigured
They have gone pear-shaped.
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︎ Mar 06 2021
Apple is designing a new car.
But theyβre having trouble installing windows.
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︎ Jan 29 2021
Everyone knows where the Big Apple is...
But do you know where the Minneapolis?
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︎ Mar 02 2021
Mum: an apple a day keeps the doctor away
Son at shops the next day: Mum, can we get that box of apples?
Mum now pretty confused: why honey?
Son: I kinda kicked my football through the doctors window
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︎ Mar 06 2021
I saw the Apple store get robbed once
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︎ Jan 11 2021
Why was the pregnant apple so upset?
Because her boyfriend, the banana, split.
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︎ Mar 02 2021
What do you after an Apple turns bad?
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︎ May 25 2020
True story: My family and I were walking at an apple orchard today when my 6-year-old noticed a discarded apple and asked "Why is there an apple under a pine tree?"
I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."
Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.
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︎ Sep 28 2020
Who does Apple call on to provide testimony in court?
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Apple announced a new product for wives that helps cope with spontaneous dad jokes throughout their day.
The iRoll
Edit: thank you kind strangers for the awards! I told my wife we've struck gold and she immediately upgraded to the newest iRoll v2 software!!!
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︎ Sep 11 2020
Apples new Bluetooth accessory: the iTanic...
....is guaranteed to sync.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Walking down the road last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."
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︎ Jul 15 2020
If you take apple, and mix it with pinecone, what does it become?
Probably a lot less tasty.
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︎ Feb 22 2021
whatβs the worst thing about having an apple addiction?
you canβt see a doctor about it
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︎ Apr 20 2021
How many apples grow on trees?
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︎ May 05 2021
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3 in the Bahamas
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
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︎ Feb 02 2021
How many apples grow on a tree?
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︎ Mar 14 2021
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas...
These are the Pie rates of the Caribbean
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︎ Mar 22 2021
How many apples grow on trees?
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︎ Mar 05 2021
If Apple made a car
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︎ Feb 05 2021
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