Horoscope Puns

A list of puns related to "Horoscope"

My horoscope said my heart would be broken in 12 years time.

So I bought a puppy to cheer myself up !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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My girlfriend couldn’t stand my obsession with horoscopes. In the end it Taurus apart.

The irony is that I’m a Gemini.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnsobenj
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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My wife left me last week because of my obsession with horoscopes.

It literally Taurus apart.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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When your horoscope says you are going to fall ill this month

It's more of a horror scope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kyool_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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I broke up with my girlfriend because she believes in horoscopes...

I’m never dating an Aries again!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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I didn't like my horoscope...

So I tore it up in Pisces.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1Autotech
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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I'm in two minds about whether or not I believe in horoscopes...

Then again that's me ...typical gemini

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feral1991
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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What can I say??

Therapist:Why did you divorce your wife?? Husband:I don’t believe in horoscopes. Therapist:That’s really sad. Husband:Yeah, I guess you could say it TAURUS apart!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebitlifelover
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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My horoscope told me I was going to be heart broken in 12 years

So I bought a puppy to cheer myself up

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BOT_MX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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My wife couldn't cope with my obsession with horoscopes...

In the end it Taurus apart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWulf360
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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My girlfriend just couldn’t accept my obsession with horoscopes

In the end it Taurus apart

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lewwap
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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My wife and I have split up over my obsession with horoscopes..

In the end it Taurus apart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leww_ap
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2018
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My wife hated my obsession with horoscopes

It Taurus apart

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StanleySkillz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
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